One day you will wake up
The bed will feel colder than usual
You will reach out your arms in hope to find someone
You won't
Lying in bed you will remember every girl you once claimed to love
And in that comes my part of the story
You will hear our whispered phone calls
The softness of them will weigh down on you
You will hear Hozier playing on repeat
It will resonate in your mind like hymn in an empty church
Suddenly you will remember the part where I stopped calling
And you stopped noticing
When dry messages became the norm, when you didn’t miss me
You remember the world conducting it's choir
It was so sweet
Like the "I love you was" reciprocated when you meant what you said
It was something that hung on a thin line
Unraveling of thread, it was always a risk
One day I know you will wake up
And think of me
And wonder if I am still asleep

I dreamed that you didn’t hold back
We were standing in a restaurant bathroom
Dim lighting, black walls, tile floors
You were wearing a blue button down shirt
Your hair was tousled and you had bags under your eyes
You were tired of waiting on me
I let my arm around you, stood on the tips of my toes
I remember saying your name, water falling you with compliments
Overwhelming your insecurities, telling them how I love them
Despite what they have learned to believe about themselves
I do not remember all that I said, however, I do remember the ending
I whispered, "Landon," taking a breath, following it with
"You are so sweet and so bitter, you are bitter sweet. You are sweet because…" midsentence I was interrupted by your lips
I did not see this coming, I never would have had it not been a dream
It was so real it was like I could feel my comforter being ripped off of my body
I was pushed against the wall
Wrapped my hands around your neck
Ran my fingers through your hair
You set me on the bathroom counter top
And kissed my neck like you used to
Teasing in a different light, it was not the same feeling
It was rough and I was scared
Because I woke up thinking about
How you might have done something similar to this
With her

I often dream of dancing in thigh high socks
To music playing off my cellphone
In a hotel on the edge of town with you
I think of lying next to you in white bed sheets
I want to be with you when the curtains open
And the sunlight is twisting patterns across your skin
I want to make you coffee in your t-shirt and my underwear
I want to almost spill it bringing it over to you
I imagine us laughing about this
You will grab the coffee and put it aside
Pull another things to your lips
That will not stain your breath
I want to be the one to kiss you in place of your coffee
We can sit in this hotel room and watch cable TV
And I can recite all the poems I have written about you
And I know that you never wrote poems,
but I knew you loved me like one

Every song that I danced to in your living room when we were supposed to be studying
Every song that we danced to in the kitchen when baking
Every song that we sang in the truck
Every melody that we have ever heard together
The songs we sang along to, the one's our parents taught us
The ones we taught each other
Plays much slower than it usually would
Coming to me note by note, tickling my senses
Reminding me that I cannot call you and tell you to listen to it
And I find myself biting my lip through the frustration
And the truth is, you never really know how lonely you are until everything is going wrong and you have no one to turn to for help
Not even music, because all of my favorite songs
Used to be ours

I am hoping this love will come to an end soon
Cease to exist in only one mind
Because love gets lonely too
It is a lot easier to share an arrow than you might think
The equally experienced pain, sharing in comfort for one another
Loving someone is giving them the map of your weaknesses
And hoping they do not abuse their right to explore
Our love was a perfect amount of splattered paint
Branded on life's bland canvas
We allowed color to flow from our veins
But I am standing in a pool of only red
I fell through the cracks in your skin and that is where I remain
I am hoping this love will come to an end soon
Because though love is such an exquisite thing
It is not as beautiful, when you are only looking at one half
Of the whole picture

There is nothing poetic about the way I am hopelessly in love with you
It may sound beautiful to be so infatuated with someone
That you can't sleep, and all you can think about is them
It may sound pretty to see them with no flaws at all
It may look like something that you want
To have someone stimulate your well being
To love someone so much that you feel as if
You cannot live without them
But it is not beautiful
Especially when you do have to live without them
Especially when you have to watch them feel this way
About someone else

To everyone who has dealt with unrequited love
Lived with heartache and constant confusion
You were never sure if they meant what they said
Always second guessing every movement
Every phone call, text message, kind gesture
Always wondered if it went a little deeper
To everyone who has dealt with unrequited love
Walked through valleys alone, holding your own hand
Looking at them standing on a mountain
You wonder if they are looking at you from up there
You wonder what the weather is like
But more about the feeling of their lips on yours
To everyone who has dealt with unrequited love
There is a tornado in your throat
And you want to tell them at you miss them
That you need them with you
That this is no ordinary type of love
This love turns my stone heart into vats of molten rock
To everyone who has dealt with unrequited love
Raise a bottle to all the years that we will regret
Waiting on someone who we thought
We would always love
And would eventually, when they were ready
Love us back