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authentic Jan 2015
I knew from the start that stepping into this
Was not going to end in my favor
From the moment you gave me that look of desire
I knew it was only the alcohol
Consuming your thoughts and cravings
There was nothing special about me
I was never the girl you wanted to be with
Just for a night, that’s all I was used for
I was just another hit and run
This is no sweet love story where they meet in a bar
And something magical comes out of it
There is only anguish in this hole I have fallen in
This is no wonderland
I knew that from the very beginning
I was doing something so foolish
But I couldn’t help myself
authentic Jan 2015
I am doing everything I can, not to love you
Convincing myself that I do not need you
Failing to do so each time
I am doing everything I can, not to love you
Searching ruthlessly for pieces of myself that I have lost
Writing about how I do not need anyone to fill me
Drowning in this agony trying to remind myself that I know how to swim
I am doing everything I can, not to love you
But I cannot help myself
I am endeavoring with everything to keep myself away
But I cant
I am drawn to you like a sinner seeing the light
I am pacing myself for the fall
Assuring myself it won't hurt that bad
Dragging my feet backwards away from you
But you are a magnet and I am only a piece of metal searching for something to attach myself to
I am doing everything I can, not to love you
But frankly, none of it has worked
And for that I am sorry, both to you and myself
authentic Jan 2015
We dream about how life used to be far too often. When people loved one another, strangers would smile at one another on the street. The earth was a paradise. Flowers popped up in impossible places and bird songs filled the air of every continent. Snow, fog, rain showers, spread with such astounding and unexpected beauty to every setting. Animals were loved as family members and it was natural instinct to be kind to one another. There were possibilities at every turn, no limits stood in your way and you could almost do anything. What we forget to realize that very little has changed. The world is still a beautiful place, we just tend to only see the worst of it. Love your universe because it is still as beautiful as ever.
authentic Jan 2015
I have been looking for a taste like his
Searching for him in back seats of cars to boys who were not him
Testing out new flavors
Hoping that maybe tonight will be different
Stretching myself like a trampoline
Turning bone to dust
Because that is what you do when the curtain is falling, you say the line the audience wants to hear
You do things only to please
But changing the script was never what you intended
I never hoped for any of this
But this is what I am left it
And I sometimes wonder
Maybe you have been rewriting too
  Jan 2015 authentic
Squared Off
I DRANK SO MUCH ALCOHOL I FORGOT WHERE I WAS BUT I COULDN'T FORGET WHERE I WANTED TO BE
authentic Jan 2015
I will call you up drunk
Declaring my mistaken disposition
Pulling your skin between my lips
like a cheap cigarette
Igniting your spirit
Watching you dance in the smoke
But eventually throwing you out
Because even fire does not last forever
Though it may keep us warm for a short time
It will always burn out
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