Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Jul 2020 · 105
A Simple Pimp
Kay Jul 2020
I **** a simp

he was a wimp

And liked the chimps

Because he is a ****
Jul 2020 · 137
Perry's Wrinkle
Kay Jul 2020
They always ask "Where's Perry?"

But never ask the important question:

"How is Perry?"

It's so sad.

My own friends don't care how I feel.

I am getting old.

Thus the tale of Perry's wrinkle.
Jul 2020 · 89
Suzy Berlinsky
Kay Jul 2020
Oh, Suzy

I don't know what to say

I was so sad

When you went away

You blocked me a few times

I am pretty sure

But now you're back

And I can admire you with my whole heart.

The whole thing
Jul 2020 · 96
beat nick up
Kay Jul 2020
You have been working for all of them to get the money back and I have a question about the last question and the question was that we were going through a great weekend with you and I am having trouble with my phone I have been trying really really good and the best of the best ever for the price and the food was really really hard and the food was so much more expensive and then the first one was the last one to go through all that stuff in my head is a lot better and more time I am too
We are all good we are just about three people in a row that was the best time I have been here and all that is done I have to say that we had the same thing we had and the first thing in a long way but it has a really nice right here is my last year to come and have it for the first three hours I had done the day you get the stuff you want for a good day or something
Jul 2020 · 97
Shoot out the word
Kay Jul 2020
spit it out

**** it out

shift it out

sift it out

sit on it a while and stop what you're doing

the fire dance can't last forever

so just sit back and relax while I make a whole *** quesadilla

and you watch me eat it.

I aint giving you none of my quesadilla
Jul 2020 · 125
flourishing spam
Kay Jul 2020
I open the can.

its flourishing spam

I take a quick scan

and with my big hand

I make a demand

That all cans of spam

are tan
Apr 2020 · 110
Queen Bee
Kay Apr 2020
In a world full of shutter flies,

I'm the queen bee.
Apr 2020 · 113
golden luau
Kay Apr 2020
Peace is never an option when you're living in...









fLaVoRtOwN
Apr 2020 · 101
Quick Question?
Kay Apr 2020
Who the **** is John F. Kennedy?

Does anyone know where Texas is?

Why am I so stupid.
Quotes from my dearest friend.
Apr 2020 · 88
A tale of sadness
Kay Apr 2020
Lucy,

Lenny,

Leonard Bernstein.

Little *****.
Apr 2020 · 109
Give it a little tug
Kay Apr 2020
Give it a little tug

Come on, it's okay

It's not gonna bite or anything

Just pull on it

Harder

HARDER

...

There you go

That wasn't so difficult now, was it?

Everyone struggles a bit their first time so don't worry.

You sometimes have to pull the tags off of your clothes before you wear them, otherwise it's itchy.
Please forgive me
Apr 2020 · 80
dirty girl
Kay Apr 2020
my MacBook Pro needs to be cleaned

because she's a ***** girl.
Mar 2020 · 148
Mr. Sexy
Kay Mar 2020
Handsome Squidward.
handsome squidward
Mar 2020 · 100
Question of the Day
Kay Mar 2020
Is it belly button fetish or fettuccine?

The world may never know.
Kay Mar 2020
My neck is noodle

Like fettuccine half cooked

Oh, my noodle neck



It doesn’t taste good

My head doesn’t get support

A sad life I live
Mar 2020 · 92
Suzy
Kay Mar 2020
My heart yearns for another talk with Suzy.

There's this burning desire I have to get to know you-zy.

Our time together was short and it makes me so blue-zy

and I wish we could have a conversation or two-zy.

Why did you block me? Please give me a clue-zy.

Was it because I made fun of you for something untrue-zy?

Whatever it is, I wish that I knew-zy.

Now I sit here, alone, drinking my brew-zy.
Suzy, I miss you. I really wish you didn’t block me. I have more to say. So much more.
Mar 2020 · 75
Oh, Billy
Kay Mar 2020
I say

Billy, why do I have crackhead nails?

They're yellow and chipped, but I don't smoke crack?

Billy says,

Why, probably because your mom was a crackhead.



That's the last I ever saw of Billy...
Mar 2020 · 93
Professional writer
Kay Mar 2020
There are a lot of people who are better at writing than me.

like... four
Mar 2020 · 73
All Locked Up
Kay Mar 2020
Help me

You see, I have a lock on my foot

but I forgot the combination

Such a strange world

I don't know what to do

My shoes don't fit and I can't walk anymore.

Please help me.

— The End —