I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

How cute we were,
Elementary.
How innocent we were,
No worries.

Seeing you for the first time
In about a decade.
Your familiar smile,
Your dimples didn't fade.

Childhood friend,
I remember you.
My childhood friend,
Remembers me too.

I am so glad for familiar smiles
And dimples that never fade.

I just CANNOT do this anymore.
I can't.
I can't.
I WON'T.
How am I supposed to, when I see things that aren't there?
Have nightmares that last for months?
Have a broken heart?
Have scars from cuts?
I want to die.
*HELP ME