Study the stage, young women
Because the day will come when you fall in love with a boy
                                                             ­  who's in love with you
                                                   but your friend loves him, too.
And let's face it. She deserves him.
So do it for her - channel Dorothy's excitement at the Land of Oz,
                             Hello Dolly's kindly matchmaking.
                             Be the Nurse to her Juliet; keep her secrets.
Only at night allow yourself to lose character.
You can then become Eponine in the rain,
                                       Christine in the depths of the opera house,
                                       Maria watching her world torn apart.
Avoid the boy's gaze if you can, ladies,
Because he knows you're no Dorothy,
                                              no Dolly,
                                              no Nurse.
He knows and you know, but you do it for her.

He is tall.
So tall.
Too tall.
So tall that I have to look up to meet his eyes,
but it’s worth it.
Because his eyes are black.
Humorous.
Sparkling.
Sarcastic.
Smirking.
And his mouth is high up.
But it’s worth it.
Because his mouth is perfect.
Smirking at me, he knows what I’m thinking.
****** *****.
He’s too tall.

Going to sleep
Thinking of you
Wondering if
You're thinking of me
I pray that you are
I pray that it's true
I keep trying to
Talk myself out of this
But I can't
I keep trying to resist
But this bliss
I can't miss,
And the kiss
I await
Raises my heart rate.
I'm trying not to rush it
I'm trying not to crush it
But I blush
And turn to mush
Every time you're around
It's like I've finally found
Who makes me happy
I just don't want to be
The rebound
Trying to give you
Your space
But you're not giving up
On the chase
So I erase
From my face
Any sign of a frown
And begin to
Bring down
The walls
I've built so high
Cause I feel like
This connection
Is hard to come by
Just don't be shy
And try
To make your move
And disprove
All my doubt
And make a sprout
Emerge from this drought.
I had given up
Until this hiccup
And now I can't work up
The courage
To believe
That what I perceive
Is not a mirage
And the heart
On your sleeve
Is not trying to deceive
It's just hard for me
To believe
That this is real.
That someone could
Actually feel
What I feel
That this is the real deal
And that I should not conceal
The light
That you ignite
Whenever you're in my sight
I'm just wondering
If you, too, are
thinking of this tonight.

Rain falls ******* the window
producing a distinctive little sound as it hits.
No stars to wonder upon to.
No moon to brighten this night.
Just the dull gray of clouds crying out their pains and worries.
I wish I could do the same.

Truth is I can't cry for you,
for to me this is not over.
Has it even started yet?

Titles were asigned; "boyfriend" and "girlfriend".
Did we ever get to that point?
Sure, it was nice, but, somehow, it wasn't as real as I wanted it to be.
No contact.
No actual dates.
No first kiss.

Now, don't get me wrong.
I do cherish all the moments we spent together.
I really did, and still do love you,
but I want this to be more than a so called reality.
There's still a long road for us to walk.

Is there really no chance for a new begining?
No chance for reality?
I only need our first kiss,
even if it's our last.

wow
you actually did
care.
though i'm still
at a loss
as to why...
not because i don't think i'm worth
someone
caring
for me
or caring
that i exist
i'm at a loss
because i can't tell
how you feel
and it's
******* me
off.
you said you're not
sad
you're
ticked off
but what are you
ticked off
about...
that i left?
why do you think i left?
i want to know
but i won't ask you
i don't want to
get mixed up
again
you always
mix me
up,
skyler.

Expectations

I can never meet them
                   They're too high

        Spoonfuls of dreams
        Shoved down my throat
        For as long as it takes them to stick
        It won't work

No breaks

AP classes
         Yale
              Harvard
                  Stanford
                       A+

                  Repeating classes
              Failure
          Disappointment
      Unac­ceptable
  F-

Can I please have a second to relax?

NO.
Keep working
You will be a star

I don't want to be.*
I can't be.
I'm too stupid.

I once asked my little 4 year old cousin,
“What do you want to be when you are older?”
Astronaut, he says.
“Because I want to shoot for the stars.”

If you think about it,
A 4 year old has more of a grasp on life than most of the people around.
To think that 4 year old kids are optimistic because they don’t know how to be pessimistic.

I still can’t believe that one day,
this innocent little boy
will realize the true hell that is reality.

One day we we outside in his yard playing with his tonka trucks.
And the whole time he was saying that he wants to grow up
and use actual trucks.
Drive the big bow dump trucks.

I agreed with him, saying I do too.
But I was thinking to myself,
that I shouldn’t quite tell him to cherish his little years yet.
Let it sink in for a little bit.
His little four year old mind
will soon enough be corrupted by society and judgments.

Some day, he will see how growing up feels.
Having to deal with the prejudice and how mean people are.
Like, back off this is how I  live my life.
Not me living your life,
I don’t live to please you.

My life is not your business.
What are you to think something about me when you don’t know the half of it?
If you had a single grasp on how things go,
you would realize judgements are for criminals and their sentences
and not me and how I speak my sentences.

Dear Luke,
I wish that someday things will change.
Dear Luke,
Never change who you are, no matter who tells you.
Dear Luke.