i wait for her to ask,

so i can tell her about the poems i write
that never get read,
or the feelings i have
that never get shared.

so i can show her the drawings
that exist, because of her,
or the photos and books i've set aside all these years,
that made me think of her.

so i can let her know about the light
i let burn, throughout each night,
just incase the dreams where she and i are together,
become too real.

so i can tell her how i wait all day,
sometimes until 2, 3, or 4 in the morning,
vigilante and prepared,
just for a call, a message, a kiss.

so i can have an excuse to drive to the airport,
leave my car in LONG TERM PARKING,
buy a one-way ticket,
tip the air hostess for a glass of water,
pay a taxi to step on it,
and show up at her doorstop,
with nothing but devotion, passion,
and a week's worth of clothes.

but at least
so i can tell her
that i love her,
without it sounding weird.

He tells me it's going to be okay
And wipes the tears from my face with his shoulder.
Is this what love feels like?

If I knew anything about myself,
would I be writing poetry?

They decided to carpool for work
Business Women working nine to five
They buckled up and ignited the van
She was in the passenger seat
Being a mile away from home
Never seemed so far away

Some people end at five
While others begin
By the time six came around
He was already stumbling for his car keys
To get to a destination
That he really didn’t know how to get to
It’s like his brain simply just shut down
He buckled up and ignited the car

They were resting at a stop sign
Not far off from a community
When they decided to move forward
While fast forward was coming from the right
Going past 35mph signs at 85
And I’m not scared of most things but…
He was flying
She was in the passenger seat

The powerful pressure lifted her off the seat like hands
Tore through the seat belt like claws
Crashed through shattered glass like the beautiful miracle of a spider web
Picture a body suspended in air floating like a cloud
Except with a lot more velocity
Teeth and skin grinded on pavement
I can’t walk on my hands for five yards
But somehow she managed to slide three blocks on her face
She finally rested when God himself
Personally came down from the sky and held her
Looked into her brown eyes that weren’t even there anymore
And he said, “This is enough.”
Now a tulip grows under concrete

She came from a family of twenty-two
So the hospital was full and weak
The lobby was filled with too many strangers to host a meeting so
The doctor took the warm-hearted family into a room
And they poured in so brightly that the door couldn’t even shut
He told them not to remove the blanket because they wouldn’t see
Something that should be on shoulders resting on a pillow
They have to shut the casket
Like folding hands over one another
Hiding a dying butterfly from it’s most beautiful worn out moment

Then there were loud shouts of profanity coming from outside the door
As a family was inside learning what it meant to come together
They could hear everything
“How much longer do I have to ******* wait you mother *******? Ahh **** come on! Someone ******* help me, for **** sake! Doesn’t anyone give a **** about me!”
This room was a TV set not turned on
The doctor needed to excuse himself
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” he said
“That’s your drunk driver outside, he broke his arm.”

I like rocks and great big granite blocks
But the question remains
Do rocks talk?
( My phychiatrist said.."What do you think"?)
I think this;
Rocks walk and talk in the night when they're out of our sight
And during the day when boys and girls are at play
Rocks are just rocks and are locked up in...Erm..
..Rocks.

Daddy, where have you gone?
I remember you holding my hand
and walking me to school.
You said "I love you" and
turned and walked away
So tell me
Daddy, where have you gone?

Daddy, where are you?
Are you safe,...happy
Momma's here, so is
Little Joey.
So tell me
Daddy, where are you?

Daddy, are you going to come home?
I made potato pancakes hoping you would.
Little Joey doesn't remember you,
but Momma and I do.
So tell me
Daddy, are you going to come home?

Daddy, have you witnessed death?
Momma killed the pigs yesterday,
you use to do that.
I have witnessed death,
So tell me,
Daddy, have you witnessed death?

Daddy, why did you leave?
I watched you walk away.
You turned and waved
I never saw you again.
So tell me
Daddy, why did you leave?


Daddy, are you happy?
Little Joey is always smiling,
it makes me and Momma
happy too.
So tell me,
Daddy, are you happy?

Daddy, why did you leave?
Were you angry with me?
Were you angry with little Joey?
Were you angry with Momma?
So tell me
Daddy, why did you leave?

Daddy, are you in the War?
that is what Suzzie said.
Her daddy is in it.
So tell me
Daddy, are you in the War?

Daddy, are you safe?
I heard Momma talking
about the War.
she said it isn't safe.
So tell me
Daddy, are you safe?  

Daddy, what is war like?
I think it is ******
and lots of people die.
Lots of girls lose their Daddies
So tell me
Daddy, what is war like?

Daddy, are you hungry?
We have shortages
of food now.
I am hungry.
So tell me
Daddy, are you hungry?

Daddy, why have you been gone so long?
It has been
three years since you
left me at school.
So tell me,
Daddy, why have you been gone so long?

Daddy, can you come home?
Momma is older now.
Little Joey isn't little anymore.
But I am still the little girl you
left at school.
So tell me
Daddy, can you come home?

Daddy, are you dead?
Joey thinks you are.
Momma refuses to think so
I don't know what I think.
So tell me
Daddy, are you dead?

Daddy, are you in Heaven?
Are there angles?
can I come to Heaven if you are there?
So tell me
Daddy, are you in Heaven?

Daddy, are you missing?
Suzzie's daddy is,
and I thought you might be too.
So tell me,
Daddy, are you missing?

Daddy, do you miss me?
Momma misses you,
so does Joey, even though he doesn't remember
you.
I miss you too.
So tell me,
Daddy, do you miss me?

Daddy, will you be there for my wedding?
I have always wanted you to be there,
But now Joey is here,
He is going to give me away
For my wedding, if you aren’t there,
So tell me
Daddy, will you be there for my wedding?

Daddy, will you be there for the birth of your first grandchild?
Momma will be,
And I want you to be too.
So tell me,
Daddy, will you be there for the birth of your first grandchild?



Daddy, did you find Momma?
She left yesterday, she
Wanted to see you,
Just like I want to see you.
So tell me,
Daddy, did you find Momma?

Daddy, did you meet John?
He was my second born,
He died last week.
Did Momma meet him?
So tell me,
Daddy, did you meet John?

Daddy, will you meet me in Heaven?
I will be coming soon,
Joey went to the war like you.
I want to see him before
I leave,
So tell me,
Daddy, will you meet me in Heaven?

Daddy, do you miss me?
I missed you tons,
Over the years, but now I will
See you again,
Daddy, this is my last breath,
I will see you soon, but Daddy please,
Tell me,
Did you miss me like I missed you?

My eyes have been open for too long
They sting when I search for relief
By closing
My eyes have seen dope fiends at age thirteen
They ask me if I have any sunshine
I say I'm terrified there's none
And I'm so afraid of the world waiting for them
In the darkness of their rooms
Whatever
Not an original thought has come from a mouth in so long
Just the same bitter, warped lips
Smoldering cigarettes
Whispering prayers
"My eyes have been open for too long"
Their hearts sting when they search for relief
by closing

Close your eyes my love
You needn’t see this
I’m falling apart at the seams
And begging for a kiss
It was all from a wish inspired by our last names
We can’t fight them all, we will die in vein
So please ****** my ghostly guise
I have no means which to deceive your eyes
And I can’t let them meet mine
I need you to not witness
As my broken heart diminishes
And the being you knew vanishes