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Dr Peter Lim Sep 2015
CONFESSION

Your love I can’t claim
it’s not my right
I should not beseech
that would be self-serving
one-sided
inconsiderate
with nothing
left for you
(don’t you soften your heart
it’s not worth it)

and pity from you
would be my worst affliction
for I would be tearing your heart
with my deceptive tears and pleading

you shouldn’t say
in a moment of weakness
‘  I’ll meet you half-way
   or three-quarter way’

this softening of your heart
it won’t stick
vulnerability is a trick
it would make you sick

a single drop
of dark ink
makes pure water
murky
it blemishes
its beauty
(I would rather
drink hemlock
than be
that dark ink)

no, oh no
I would never want
to make you suffer
on account of loving me

no, oh no
you do wrong
if you should sacrifice yourself
for the sake of another
out of pity or compassion

look away
look far away
as
that which is *******
is not love
you would merely destroy yourself
and regret
in perpetual imprisonment

love
must be free
free like the wind
to travel where its heart chooses
to be its own
without any boundary

its raison d’etre
is to live
to grow
to blossom
to beautify
to embrace
to cherish
to share
in the fusion and convergence
of two true hearts
as
the bow is to the violin
as
the sun to the sky
as
the moon to the night
as
the flower to the garden
as
the water to the sea
as
the song to the singer
as
the poem to the poet

that, that purity
that perfection
that miracle
that devotion
that faith
that beauty
that sublimity
which outshines
the grandeur of all eternity

ask yourself then
before you reply
do I fit
do our hearts meet?
nil
Dr Peter Lim Nov 2018
What's my true content?
you hardly did know
so far I have conned
ten men!
Dr Peter Lim Jun 2019
The night
it must
spill over
to the day
the latter
(with reluctance?)
descends
into the hateful dusk
and unfriendly dark

time is the bridge
that provides
the crossover
with men
and women
as the hangover -thus
is its hallmark

life the linker
of the past
to the present
to be taken over
by the future
everything either
stays together
or breaks
apart

in the darkest hour
where is it
to be found
the spark?
Dr Peter Lim May 2018
This is the message-
the great conquerer
is one who can manage
their rage
Dr Peter Lim Mar 2020
Falling
but not falling apart
bruised and fractured
untainted still the heart

that knows
the wax and wane
of life in variation
the cut of pain-

what falls
shall rise again
nothing forestalls
loss will turn into gain-

however thick the mist
however rough the terrain
the self that conquers all odds
shall flourish and remain.
Dr Peter Lim Mar 2018
But conscience is only a word--too trite
its meaning but resides in the domain
of the speaker, does he indeed struggle
or announce it in feigned orchestrated pain?

Silence--I have nothing to declare or say
some feelings of mine I can't even give a name
what I've omitted or all that I've done
defined my humanity--need I live ever in shame?
Dr Peter Lim May 2019
Conscience: is it a healer
or tormentor?
Dr Peter Lim Aug 2018
Conscience only needs to whisper
it's louder than the harshest thunder
Dr Peter Lim Aug 2018
Ample free food on the table
for breakfast, lunch and dinner
I shouldn't have more than my share
it's only right to think of others who come later.
Dr Peter Lim Dec 2020
Far have I travelled
farther still is the destination
compass I have none
would I end in isolation?

In the bitterest of winter
my heart speaks in consolation:
as long as you keep me all the way
you've no reason to feel crestfallen
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2018
Having failed
so many times before
future ones
would hardly hurt anymore.
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
Life is precious
not because of its brevity
but rather more in
its meaning and utility.
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
I have broken more promises
      made to myself than I care to remember
      to promise others would cause me untold grief
      my freedom I'm loathed to surrender
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
What I like or dislike
is not the heart of the matter
in all situations my skills I harness
such that I would not fall behind another
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
It's not life's business
    to bend the rules for anyone
    you are your own responsibility
    mistakes would leave you badly undone
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
If your own suffering
    you could understand
    you would be sensitive then
    to all like you-- in any land
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
Friendship is the route to  the most grievous perdition
the more you treasure, the greater the affliction
*  this is true to life, not a myth or exaggeration
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
I tried hard
     to be good
     gave up long ago
     many people are rude
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
If you are my friend
     we don't barter or trade
     I would not walk away
     when you are on your dying bed
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
I fall on the thorns of life
     I bleed*
     my friends are busy
     none could attend to my need
* from Shelley's ODE TO THE WEST WIND
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
I am far from wise
   all that I do is to use my eyes
Dr Peter Lim Feb 2021
Wings I need not

I've no desire to fly

enough joy is brought

by all simple things nearby
Dr Peter Lim Dec 2017
The day wanes
    its hours dissolve
    into the womb of time
    we are defined then
    by that we have done
    or left undone-

     should we turn away
     as those past moments
     stare at our very face?

     life and I
    I and life
    encounters and I
    I and encounters
    the making of me
    the unmaking of me-

    reason versus feelings
   feelings versus reason
   love and I
  I and love
  did I fail?

   life is not made
  for excuses
  
   what's my worth?
   have I morally
  died?
Dr Peter Lim Jun 2019
Eagerness I've set aside
I no longer rush. The stream
of life flows as it may my way
inexorably--it chooses its scheme-
all that I could do is to live in contingency
by the moment and day-

time with its omniscient eyes
is the eternal sentinel that won't go away
its task is to silently watch and survey
to the human drama no words does it say
the path I tread is my own volition
for nothing need I to pray-

glory there was and will be
but all that is, is transitory
fragility is the unchangeable key-

sinking moments,  breath-holding-
rainstorms and threatening clouds
across the tumultuous human sea--
we live mostly in sorrow and doubts
our commonly shared destiny
but hold on to our liberty with dignity

yet my ground
I hold fearlessly
as I tread through
life's roughest territory
Dr Peter Lim Oct 2021
Some say life has meaning

others say there's none

I hardly know anything

I will just do what gives me fun
Dr Peter Lim Feb 2021
Life is neither black nor white
too often I'd not got it right
Dr Peter Lim Mar 2021
Do I own my dream

or does it own me?

which is the water, which is the stream?

surely we can't be the same entity!
Dr Peter Lim Oct 2021
What's good

what's bad?

no clear line

but they never match
Dr Peter Lim Jul 2020
But what's convenient
is not what's necessarily desired
it's in the nature of every person
such to choose, easily fired

to rush for the expedient-
impulse is too quickly hired
gratification is too strong and impatient
to such is the human brain wired.
* replacing 'relevant'
Dr Peter Lim Jan 2019
When 'no'
is 'maybe'
and 'yes'
is ambiguity.
Dr Peter Lim Sep 2019
Does the writer become the dreamer
or the dreamer becomes the writer?
Dr Peter Lim Jan 2019
Is forgetting
the same as not-remembering?
alas,  my forte is not logic
language puzzles and makes me sick!
Dr Peter Lim May 2019
It's hard to know
the true meaning
of words--many
tend to be misleading--

it's hard to tell
what you are hinting
I guess all the while
left suspending-

it's hard for me
to try convincing
even myself--never sure of
what lurks in my thinking--

it's hard to decipher
the true content of everything
all that's left remaining
is the perpetual unknowing.
Dr Peter Lim Nov 2019
When a step farther
is deemed too far
when a step backward
the past glory it would mar--

when desires are over-stretched
each will perish like a falling star
when the heart is a-flushed with love
fate contrives to inflict a deadly scar.
* written in the tram at 7 pm
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
I sleep
but how soundly?
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
I see
but how clearly?
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
I love-
but how unreservedly?
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
I speak
but how honestly?
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
I play the game
how fairly?
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
I work
but how dedicatedly?
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
I write
but how accurately?
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
I travel
but how purposely?
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
I praise
how sincerely?
Dr Peter Lim Apr 2018
Do I make decisions by thinking
or feeling?
Dr Peter Lim Mar 2021
Those who are right might not be happy

those who are wrong may happiness find

but neither might be aware of any morality

right or wrong doesn't occur in their each mind
Dr Peter Lim Jan 2019
They claim superiority
let them shout before the crowd
listen well--they don't even know
what they are talking about!
Dr Peter Lim Oct 2018
Conversation
gives away
a large slice
of the person.
Dr Peter Lim Feb 2021
Life is more self-conversation

                 than with others and indeed more profound

                 the latter is fraught with confusion

                 true meaning in the former is only found
Dr Peter Lim Oct 2021
He said to me:

let's have a conversation--

I should let you know beforehand

with regard to opinions, I am very stubborn
Dr Peter Lim Nov 2018
By all means
let's have a conversation
but let's first agree
it's not a competition.
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