Golden words
I've silently hidden
in my tender heart
yet to be spoken

in their appointed hour
I'll then be ready to utter
after the door of love is open
and I'll be your chosen lover

I must wake up
I've dreamt too long
last year's spring-roses
have all gone- the song

I should have sung
has been left fallow
love's door is shut-
and tomorrow

I'm not sure
whether my voice
would still hold
as with past joys

when life so bold was-
all wonder and splendour
has now fled, never to return
as I move on, a lonely drifter

A kiss
can be prelude
to love
or is just
a one-off-
each case differs
with its story
whether happy
or unhappy
in varying intensity

and those
who haven't
kissed before
or being kissed
know not
its mystery
and what
has been missed

.....but body language
    can be fake

Little house on hill
doors and windows always locked
birds settle on top

The most vulnerable and weakest
in their moments darkest
can be transformed
into the most courageous

Everyone is doing something
but it's questionable
whether it has meaning

Only by our inside
can we be sanctified

Please do, please judge me
I've never claimed infallibility

Live
oh live now
ere the die
is cast-
evening
is setting
daylight
is fading
the heart
is aching
even beauty
cannot last

think not
of the future
set aside
all conjecture-
if love is waiting
there should be
no tarrying-
not responding
might witness
its dying

as you're reading
this writing
it's my wishing
that this moment
of glory and blessing
you'll rush
without hesitating
for the embracing

I'm writing
by the riverside
as the last beams
of the moon subside

I drift on
as in a dream
lost in fantasies
and reveries

I feel dewdrops
on my head, falling
my hair is all stirred
by the wind in drifting

my heart is torn and weary
lost love revisits and is saying:
'  Fate did not allow our consummating
   let the past die--so, with the remembering'

Many will find
my music
unmusical
untamed
defiant
of tradition-
rough
rugged-
not evidently clear
of resolution

but those
who understand
will stand by me
as I've broken
into new territory
as a brave mind
seeking
a new musical trajectory-
history
will not reject
but remember me!

Beethoven towers
over me, so heavily
how could I contemplate
writing a symphony?

No Promethean
am I, puny -
'twas my struggle
endlessly, musically

to have written four-
the future will judge me
whether I stood equal
to Beethoven the All-Mighty

to my beloved Schumann
I owe an eternal duty
but for his tutelage
I'd but appear a mere footage in history

Keats will above
everyone, understand
just as George Sand
the burden and pain
of my illness
and loneliness
my desolation :

he wrote so sublimely:
'Now more than ever
seems  it rich to die
to cease upon the midnight
with no pain...'

how this resonates
with every strain
of my 'Nocturnes'-
I weep
and I can't sleep:
the night's shadows
encircle me
and no memory
of joy
do I keep.

My illness, painful
  and prolonged
  does new musical paths
  create--every note
  has sweetness
in melancholy -
if well you listen
you'd understand

Think only
    this of me:
    melody
    melody
    divine melody!

My songs*- the saddest-
       is what I love the utmost

     * singular verb as 'my songs are' is a single collective

Serious is my music
but you'll see me
happy at the pool-
much of life is comedy!


billiards

I don't write only
on peace, calm, joy
or all that which is tender-
my Sturm und Drang
impels me to break
with tradition-
my music
is revolt, defiance
a smite on the face
of fate:
the world
shall say
when I'm gone:
'Beethoven is anger!'

I'm a bird-
I sing!

....and this
i readily accept
some of my writings
do not make the grade

I know no darkness
I carry with me my inner light

Dreaming is healthy--
it shows us our other hidden side
we gain with such better insight

My poetry
I don't organise
it must do so
on its own
and thus
beauty will arise
in every worthy guise

The puppy speaks not
        ev'ry gesture is of love
        always remembered

When comes the muse
you can't step away or refuse
the words must flow, freely so
and your finest thoughts will follow

Life is heavy
my burden
I'll lighten
taking all things easy-
tears there are
too many
humbly
quietly
I accept
still free
to live
meaningfully

dark moments
don't scare me
they come
they dissipate
whatever
the misery
I've borne
such courageously

joys there are
in between
so lightly
so gently
I hold them
knowing well
their ephemerality

time
the eternal sentinel
watches nonchalantly
our human condition
it neither feels
nor does it pity

I walk alone
I don't complain
despite my pain-
in self-emptying
I find my final victory

Don't tell
anybody-
just be!

If I were
   too ******* myself
   could I be
   gentle with anyone else?

Last night I dreamt
of being stranded
on a lonely island
like Crusoe
but I was unafraid
as my mobile
in my pocket
I had

but alas!
Connection
there was none
and I got desperate

suddenly
came a gigantic wave
with a shark
within it
so near
it came to me
its jaws
it unfolded-
I yelled
for help
and mercifully
woke!

There's a broader
form of love
over the personal :
the love of living
that covers the above

never in conflict
but in each other abiding:
the art of living
brings greater joy
to individual loving

I'd rather be
an alive coward
than to be
a hero dead

Silence
is wisdom
unexpressed
in its own rightful place

Prestige?
The sure way
to future grief!

We'll meet--you and I
       but on equal terms only
       otherwise all goes to waste
       and the result would be misery!

It's never
too late
to create:
if writing
you love
get ahead!

I don't regard words as my tools
each is a personal friend
respect Io them I accord
my goodwill they fully understand-

I've never misused them
their dignity in the right place
I set-  our relationship is sacred
blessed by ever-expanding grace

Well, well, well
no one can tell
whether
you are well
or unwell

your outward
manifestation
doesn't ring a bell

we are each
wearing a mask
a mystery
it does spell

life then
is summarised
in just two words:
either well
or unwell

My door
is open
by day
do drop over
for coffee
if you come
this way

my door
is also open
by evening
if you're hungry
join me
in supping

my door
will open
every tomorrow
come in
to chat
to share
whatever
this I'm sure:
our understanding
of each other
will splendidly grow

This is  just me
simply:
my name
is Curiosity

Some day
you'll know
what I am not
and will throw
me away
from your thought
and say:
' Game over!'

The truth
can't be hidden
despite every pretence
or false words
that might be spoken-

people aren't fools
your secrets
will somehow be stolen

some day
it won't be long
when me
you'll know better
my every flaw
my every wrong
and say:
'  To no value
   of yours
   will I ever
   belong!'

Everywhere
there's talent
indeed great talent
of very form
but sadly
so little
comes into
their true essence
for some reason
strangely unknown
to the person

just like
the fairest flower
being  unseen
with its petals
all blown
and strewn
by the wind
and drop silently
upon
some lonely
corner
to be
swept away
into a hidden '
drain-
ah, all such beauty
drowned
and has ended
all in vain!

Such loss
such grievous pain!

Don't seek
anyone's opinion
just your point
of view to confirm

Looking outward
tends to negate
our inner worth

Autumn's last few days
leaves silently fall on ground
flight of birds homewards

The past so often
roars, seldom whispers
too pent up and ferocious
its doors it doesn't close

much has to do
with hurt and blame
it acts in nemesis
and calls you a bad name

while the present
is seeking its calm
after the storms
hoping for a brighter outcome

the future is yet to come
its unknown feature we don't know
much as we want the past to dislodge
it follows us like an unrelenting shadow

They might not
take my kindness to heart
but such I'll not withdraw from
I'll not allow my resolution to walk apart

and I'm well aware
human nature
is not predictable
here, there or anywhere

goodwill I'll keep
on the path of tolerance
I'll continue to tread
and do away with indifference

I can't be
in two places
all at once:
I am
no doppelganger
what you see
is the real me

in flesh and blood
not in your idle fancy

but all
I can be
is a fixture
in real time
in mutual company
I see you
and you see me!

No gift can I ever offer
beyond words that are mine
they may touch no other
but I hope somehow they will still shine

beyond my time and long after
in one heart --though just a single line
and my absence would have been sweet and tender
my life would have been richly blessed by what's left behind

I can't go
your way
mine I'll choose
this is all I know-

where it will lead
I can't predict
yet to my faith
I'll tenaciously keep

we are each our own
in heart and spirit
free to discover and explore
such, destiny cannot beat