This is not yet
       harvesting time
       patience you need
       for that which is to come-

      love you can't ever rush
      the seasons do know when to show
      the rose-bud tonight is in slumber
      upon daylight it will cheerfully blow

I prefer steadfastness
      to success

I'm my own
      as life is
      I don't beg
       or beseech

      no ally do I need
      though I'm fragile
      yet I'll not let myself down
      I'll continue to strive

     for to me I owe a duty
     to act freely and in dignity
     I'll not be a mere shadow
     I'll not bow to destiny-

     heroism I never seek
     fame is ephemerality
    if  only I should be true to myself
     I would have lived meaningfully

Myself in time
         I learned and unlearn
         much slicing and adapting
         I know what I can't and can-

        travelling in the tunnel of life
        the darkness into light
        experiencing every moment
        searching my innermost inside-

        things and people
        are not what they seem
        the inescapable lacuna and the nuances
        they are like the images of a dream-

       time in the outside
       more encroaching on my inside
       we are conjoined- I, in reluctance
       there are secrets that I'd rather hide

Over-active
    doesn't achieve
    no forced-action
    has the furthest reach

Life should be lived without having to think of how others regard you-
this is the true measure of your maturity and self-sufficiency

My eyes follow
  the drift of the sea
   it's the hottest summer
   the memory of you
   suddenly flashes back to me
   but too well I know
   you'd no longer remember
   those days of innocent gaiety

   we sat then under the same tree
  where we shared Keats's poetry
  my hand you held tenderly
  and kissed me so passionately :

   'Do not ever leave me
   I'll die for you---surely
   if you were to walk away..'
   your spoke tearfully-

   a decade hence--how time did flee!
  to Cambridge you went to study
  you promised to return after your degree
  but there you stayed on permanently

a telegram reached me before long:
'  Love is a strange thing--I met Henry
    he scored double- first--he promised
    next week to marry me!
    I wish you every happiness
   you'll learn to forget me..'

     A tiny boat is gliding by
     a bird is chirping merrily
      as I watch the slow-moving sea

Life is no easy take
it exists for no one's sake:
our own path we must chart
with fullness of mind and heart

yet mistakes we'll make
and some will continue to plague :
this is the price we pay for being human-
the perennial life-story of every man and woman

My voice is hoarse
  I'm like a bird
that can't sing-
before we parted
my songs of love
you had gladly heard-
you even joined me
in total abandon
without the slightest hesitation-

I can't sing now as before
I know I'd choke if I try
my heart would no longer respond
in brokenness I'd choose to die-

when love-songs I hear anywhere
my ears I'll immediately shut
the past I wish not to resurrect
it'd only break my heart

This is the age
    of angst and rage
    the evil of man
    has exploded
    and morality is dead-
    nations in wars
    and conflicts
    innocent lives
   have been lost
   yet there's no sign
   of pity or remorse-

   the tears of mothers
  and children fill the earth
  the lives of husbands and fathers
  are sacrificed for no worthy cause

  will there be peace?
  Will poor souls be consoled?
  Will love overcome hate?
  Will evil be cut away from its wicked source?

How often is often ?
How seldom is seldom?
How is such measured?
Who has the final opinion?

Do you and I know?
Does it really matter?
Is each to be denied or treasured?
This is ultimately a personal conjecture.

I'm my own,  my alone
I'll decide what suits my character:
the often and seldom of my life
I'll balance -- in the best order

Truth isn't often welcome-
     it lays bare the things
     we shouldn't have done

Once time
you've mastered
everything else
you've conquered

West:   Wrestle

     Zen:     Be settled

The greatest strength
    emerges when everyone
    has walked away from you
    leaving you alone to your battle-
   your every ounce of energy
   you'll harness to overcome the obstacle
   you'd never met before

To walk away from yourself
  is the greatest  cowardice-
you've nothing left at all
not even the tiniest moral piece

Your deepest sorrow overcome
  makes you the true hero:
  look not to historical figures
  nothing else outside would you need to know

Understanding the 'what'
       is the zenith of living-art

We are all different
   each has to find their 'how'
   living life has no fixed formula
   not in the past nor in the future
   surely too, not in the now

Put aside the why
   all that life is
   is to be endured and lived
   some problems will always persist

When
would you
get even
with life
and move on
beyond
angst and strife?

If you know the truth
why would you want
to be understood?

Not the world-
but yourself
which is the  cause
of the greatest trouble

If with yourself
you steadfastly stay
nothing of you
can be taken away

The day is action
the night, the contemplation -

in the light
thoughts are occupied

in the dark
emotions on their journey embark

another world surfaces
in the subconscious

silent is reason
awake is the wild imagination-

self enters the twilight zone
it feels no longer its own

images are strange
in colours and sizes they change-

voices drift in the air
they come from nowhere-

a rainbow at night?
dark is the moon with no light-

the night thickens
every hour threatens -

the dark has spoken
every sanity has been stolen

Advanced in age
but I don't languish
upon each day
me does the sun greet

the flowers
in the green field
are beckoning
joyful I feel

look at the kids
in their innocent laughter
as they walk to school
in such happiness they gather-

am I really old?
Often I can't tell
my robustness I still keep
I live so youthfully well

Be gentle and generous to everyone
don't offend or stay in the way of anyone

Myself I don't blame
coerce, coax, force
nor feel any shame:
life is doing and experimenting
that makes for meaning

how often I've failed
but have walked away never
my own rainbow I carve in the sky
I've never ceased in my endeavour-

the world is wild and self-centred
everyone has their own agenda
to my duty and task I quietly attend
from a remote unknown quarter-

I'm my haven and my sanctity
without any glamour or clamour
time passes by my life but I'm not even aware
my path I chart beyond which I don't bother

Because I've no need
       in my self-sufficiency
       nothing do I hanker after:
      I'm totally free-

     the plight of the billionaire
     comes immediately to my mind
     he's far from being satisfied
     no peace could he find-

    a tiny cottage by the river-side
    the cleanest air I breathe
    with Mother Nature I converse
   she has such valuable lessons to teach

   in time I patiently abide
   waiting for the harvesting of my field
   watching the smiles of my kids and my wife's
   the greatest joy does this abundantly yield

Let not ever yourself
         be that of someone's else
        this would calamitously be
        your total self-betrayal  

       you'd surely only be
      a bud-graft of another
      an unattractive carbon-copy
      and court the world's sinister laughter!

Remove your mask
    you can no longer hide
    the more yourself you shield
    the more grievous will be your plight-

   isn't nature at her greatest
   in her total nakedness?
  Does it need lipsticks
  of her beauty to convince us?

  What does your mirror say
  when it sees you with your mask?
  You can't hear what it whispers
  its words are:  You i don't ever trust!"

The song you'll sing tomorrow
   will be much better than that of today
   your feelings and technique have been refined
   nothing will obstruct you on the way-

   as love is,  it should stronger grow
   the heart has been made more pure
   all around is splendour and glow
   love has never been so effulgent and sure

Everyone uses the term
'madly in love'
I'm yet to hear someone say:
' sanely in love'

Life:
     words and sounds
     those of ours
     others'
     punctuated
     by silence
     (even awkwardness-
     in our uncertainty
    and doubts)

     weren't it be better
      if we speak less
      contemplate
      more---avoid
     the lacuna
     that sours
     our relationship
     with others

    words Wittgenstein
    disputed and never did trust
    they were riddles--he regarded
    as soon as they were uttered,

    how wise is Zen and Taoism
    which doesn't seek to acquire
    enquire, label or grasp
    in holding to emptiness
    and voicelessness
    the truth emerges
    as naturally as the grass.

Because we languish
  in time--we've hardly lived
bearing the weight of living
often in moaning and grief

for the right words we struggle
in vain our very angst to relieve
in vagueness we know other people
life is the perennial lacuna-- not a gift

If you should-
know me only superficially-
if you were to know me fully
you'd see the really ugly side of me!

Hold everything lightly
then the letting so
doesn't hurt at all
and is very easy

If only
if only you've said
or in any way
articulated
I'd have known
the truth:
the state
of your true feelings
and would have
rightly responded

up to now
I've not understood
why you held back
was it doubt
or your fear of love?

The years have spoken
so many springs have fled
so long I've waited
my every hope has faded
all has been lost
everything is too late!

Once upon a time
we were young
and together one

time has changed us
we no longer are as before
our innocence
has all been lost

our once radiant look
is now fraught with wrinkles
our laughter has lost its shine
our words are no longer spontaneous
we fabricate them all the while
our true feelings to hide

we're afraid so very afraid
of looking at each other in the eye
it's worse than the most remote strangers'
all that we exude is a bundle of lies

I've to go
the reason
you do well know
my lingering here
will only cause you
more sorrow

neither of us
will bend
we're too much
of our own
and have
to be each
left alone

our freedom
we'd not let of
there's a bridge
we can't together cross
even if we try
our utmost

what couldn't be
had been long cast
in the mould of fate
it's as though
our love
has come too late
in time
and shall never be
but the tragedy is
I've once loved you
as you've equally loved me

Live spontaneously
never obsessively

It's not a matter of will
the heart has the final say
ah!  love is the utmost mystery
it does insist on its way-

other things of life can be compromised
but not the obstinacy and fire of love
it has such passion and obsessive eyes
only its own interest does it singularly serve

Humility
is the greatest victory :
the self-conquered
has nothing to dread
steel can't pierce at all
its impregnable wall
grounded and steadfast
every glory it will surpass

Smart people
    there are too many
    not all achieved their goals-
    they lacked curiosity -

    how they did bask
   in their past each victory
   resting too long on their laurel
   they faded away in complacency

It's hard
      to let go
     the past
     it lingers
     and refuses
     to part-

     its say
    it has not completed
    it's at your heel
    you can't escape
    its tenacious grasp

    once long ago
    you thought
    with it you had done
    you couldn't succeed
   it was too obstinate
  and left you helpless

  the cure is to allow it
to coerce and shout
to it be indifferent
don't react or respond-
it will wear itself out

like the passing
of time
it will lose its sting
and you'll be free
at last!

I write
happily I write
never afraid
of being rejected
even if so
I'll still move forward-
to withdraw
is to be defeated

herein is my life
in words crystallised
within them
I live and die-
a million worlds
I explore and visit
and will never tire-

at this hour of light
there's so much
my creativity to inspire
all else I'll set aside
to love, to feel
to breathe freely
to embrace beauty
to passionately write!

I wish
I had known
it was then
brain-fog
just for a moment
the opportunity
was lost

the right words
I failed to speak
(she was waiting
in such great expectation
with her I lost eye-contact

then she said:
'The wind
is brewing strong
I must leave
in case it were
to break
into a storm'
( a quick glimpse
of her I took
in her eyes
there was a tiny teardrop)-

evening was setting in
into the fading light
she walked
I couldn't find
the words to say-
my heart grievously broke!

By then
the wonder
would have
come to an end

time has spoken

the rose
greeted you
you ignored
soon enough
it was dead

love wooed you
you turned away
giving the excuse
you weren't ready
(as though you heart
had been stitched)
it wept and visited
never again

by now
the sun has set
the daylight waited
but you were wrapped
within yourself
(in rumination)
sad, how really sad!

Alone
forlorn
you're left
to the darkness
and know
no rest

If you truly loved me
     those words you wouldn't have said
     now I've come to realise the truth --
     our relationship has been a mistake-

     no more need I respond
     we'll part for each other's sake
     against you I'll hold no acrimony
     in our new-found freedom we'll celebrate

It's necessary-
this my solitude:
weary is the world
in its repetition
monotony, cliches
its clamour and moan
the self-gratification-

no,  I don't ever aim
to change what is
only to retreat
to reconstruct
my inner self
to feel I'm no slave
to inane convention
and sterile tradition-

to be alone
not ever forlorn
only to recapture the essence
of being alive
true to myself
with the intention
to emerge
in transcendence
in truest freedom

not looking back
in this self-created renaissance