Dear M,
I have no doubt every moment is a test of our inner self---our thought, our action and our demeanour.
I believe Zen can be learnt by everyone --it has worked for me.
Humility is the starting point--if we can't acquire humility, we can't learn.
Delving into our inner self, we find not only the contradictions within us but also discover how embedded our prejudices and how fixed our thoughts-patterns are--the product of so many factors which I shall not enumerate here.
You are absolutely right--I have held this view for perhaps 3 decades….that old age is not synonymous with wisdom, grace or mellowness, precisely because of the (bad) habits we have formed.
That's why we get provoked when our 'erroneous zones' , or our sensitive /vulnerable spots are encroached upon.
Even the slightest remark or the most innocent action of others makes us lose our sense of control and we turn into savages.
Some old people also think they have the right to impose their will on others---'I have seen more of life than others, so I know more, so I can teach you, you must learn from me….'.
It's a kind of tyranny and the people around them, especially the family, suffer.
When we say, grow old with grace….it's that we do away with those undesirable and unpleasant tendencies.
Zen is such a marvellous way of seeing ourselves and the world anew, and by doing so, we acquire balance, harmony, peace, tolerance and ultimately true insight-
when the word 'enlightenment' is used in common parlance, I think it has nothing to do with the 'spiritual' but rather a high degree of perception and clarity when the dust in our minds has been cast away and the toxicity within us has been cleansed…
What psychotherapy does is to help the distressed person to understand himself and, with this insight, he would learn to rid himself of complexes and self-destructive thought-patterns that make his life unfulfilled and miserable.
You are a trained psychologist and no doubt know more than me, a layman.
Yes, we'll meet soon to talk about this.
11.15 pm now in Melb and I am ready to go to bed.
Warm wishes
Peter