Dear Katrina
I don’t like how much you drink
It makes my heart sink
Every once in a while I think about you
And I don’t blink
I just think
And stop and stare
And I remember just how much you cared
When I was suffering
The pain that I once felt
It was smothering
But you were there

From the beginning to the end
I know that these rhymes are cheap writes
But you were my friend
One of my guiding lights
And when I see you now
I just don’t know how
You became the way you are at the present
Hooking up, drinking up night by night
Acting more and more like a depressant
It’s painful to watch
Worse than a knee to the crotch

You were different than the others
In so many ways
Only hanging out with who people called retards
Did it on all days
You were kind, brave and smart
Sometimes sweet but most times ****
And people didn't get it
They never saw what you did as art
They saw it as another girl trying to be better
A self-righteous woman who never corrects her own errors
This is why I write the poem hence
Trying to find a way of how you are now makes sense

You had some family issues
Your mom and dad had the disease too
Your dad an extra disease though
Skin cancer to suffer through
And you yourself had your issues no less
Diagnosed with diabetes
A disease you’ll forever possess
And I understand that you deal with a lot of stress
With the bickering and fighting between your parents and you feeling oppressed

When I think now I realize you were picked on quite a bit
In your adolescence
Snickered at down the hall
By our fellow pubescence
“She’s a *****, **** and ****!” said a student down the hall
And you pretended to not care
Until you went home to your Facebook wall

The plot now thickens
Posting vague statuses about others
As quick as the dickens
“I had it with this *******!
I had it with that *******!
God I hate this school!
These people are useless
And have no soul!”
You were emotional
And it was easy to understand
They bullied you because you were unique when they wanted to see the bland
But you took that fire too far
And accidentally hit a wire
And began to end up hitting people with friendly fire

The more you posted the harder it got to defend
Slowly and slowly losing friend after friend
Until you only had too few left
And then some part of you seemed to be carried off in a theft

At this point you and my readers may think that I am hypocritical
And the more they may read this poem the more they may get cynical
But this is not a sneak attack, no jump, no shock
Nor am I writing this poem for ******* to gawk
I’m writing this because right now because I love you
I don’t think I’m stronger, nor anymore above you
I was weak too until you pulled me out
I’m just doing the same for you this is what this poem is about
I know it’s said I shouldn’t pull out a splinter when I got a plank
But if we all didn’t help cause of it we’d all be blind and the world more rank

We went away
Up to college and we swore that day after day
We’d remain friends
And now I feel like I’m in a reality that transcends
Between my life and another
One that is harder to recover
Seeing the pain
Of seeing you going off the wall and insane
Hooking up often with guy after guy
Not knowing why
Too drunk and too high to get by
Living the life you said
Now I feel so misled
How can you living a life
If you’re too high or drunk to remember it

I’ve seen people do it before
My uncle lived that life never closed the door
Until he died by alcohol poisoning
Girlfriend came home before 4
You see he did it not for fun but because he suffered
His father told him that he didn’t love him
He never recovered
He just drowned in sorrow
Hoped that death would come tomorrow

You see I don’t want you to end up like that
Hating life more and more constantly feeling the attack
Of hate, sorrow, pain, depression
And turning to alcohol and *** as a reliever and obsession
Today I’m writing in rhymes because it makes it harder to think
About how you fell in love with the ******* drink
I watch
As you take a scotch
You sigh and take a breath
Take a sip and begin to drown
Drinking yourself to death
And I pray day by day
That someone will save your life
And make you realize that what you’re doing
Is causing your friends strife
You I know you, care for you, and love you very much
And after you read this poem I hope we still can keep in touch

I sit down
On my privileged white boy ***
Spinning around in my black chair
And think of a poem to write

How could I not think of anything that I can write about?
There are so many topics and problems of the world!
Love
Hate
Drugs
Alcohol
Adolescence
Birth
Death
******
Retribution
Revenge  
Racism
Sexism
*** in general
****
Feminism
****
The one percent
The ninety-nine percent
Books
Poems
And many more but I'll break down why I can't think of these

Love
Cliche topic
Written my say about it
Already
Already have so many poems
On that topic
I don't wanna do the boring old
Topic tonight

Hate
Now there's a topic I haven't covered
But like love
It's cliche
Skip that for tonight
I don't have a say on the matter now
Other than I hate people who don't like me

Drugs
I've never touched a drug
I've met people influenced by drugs
But not that well
Can't write about
How good they are
Maybe how bad they are
But I don't know people well enough
Who can teach me how bad they are
So I'll move along

Alcohol
**** I'm lame
A poet who has never
Gotten drunk once
I'm a shame to the poetry community

Adolescence
It ******
Girls didn't like me very much
My crotch itched all the time
Wanted to *******
About twenty times a day
A different day to write about that

Birth
Don't remember it
I've had rebirths
But I don't think that counts

Death
My grandma died!
Oh, but I didn't know her very well
It'd be quite false to lament
That much about it

******
Why even bother
Never murdered
Have wanted to ****** on plenty of occasions
But only to the extent that everyone else does
Not interesting enough
Next

Retribution
O.K well I can talk
A lot about that
But not in the mood

Revenge
Isn't that similar
To retribution?
Why'd I even list that?

Racism
I'm white
Can't get much better than that
I get socioeconomic benefits
Which makes me a pretty lucky guy
And plus
If I were to be called a *****
On the streets by a person
It really wouldn't ruin my day

Sexism
I'm a man
I get the benefits of being a man
More pay
More respect
Yup got nothing to write about there

*** in general
Well I'm a ******
Ain't I pathetic
So unless you want
A sloppy description
Of how awesome it feels
To get my **** wet
Then I'm not gonna bother

****
I've never been *****
And I'm a pretty strong guy
In general
I've never experienced ****
Nor known someone really well
Who has been *****
And it's pretty obvious
**** is bad
So there isn't that much else
To say about it

Feminism
I agree equality for women is awesome
Equal pay
Equal respect
But I think changing the spelling
From woman to womyn
Is a bit bizarre.....
To touchy a topic
Don't wanna lose the female audience
No writing of that tonight

****
There's a lot of it
Out there
Most people agree
That it disrespects women
And desensitizes men to the
Idea of ****
So I really don't have
Much to add in this matter
Other than to not really use it

The one percent
They're rich
They make more money than you
We learned in economics
If we had total equality
We wouldn't be efficient
Although at the same time
More middle ground should be made
I'm sure they aren't greedy *******
In total though

The ninety-nine percent
They have every right
To be completely angry
But I already covered them
In my last poem
So ***** that for tonight

Books
Who doesn't love to pick up
And read a good book
But why change it to a poem
Doesn't that **** with the writer's
Original intention and could scope the message?
Shouldn't we leave it to the lit crits to take care of that?
I think it does
I'll move on

Poems
I think I'm already talking about that

It's an addiction
It can't be understood
In its exterior it is simplistic
In its interior it is complex

It is something that can't be understood
By those outside it
Because they don't know the highs
Or where it does take you
All those outside it can only see
Just how it will break you

But they can't see
They can't see how good it feels
The stages are easy to know
When you can follow me

Stage 1: The first date
Always the best part
The nerves
The preparation
The mystery
The first time that I touch her hand
A rush
I feel high again

Stage 2: The first kiss
Always a favorite
Because I mastered it
I take her to the perfect place
She loves it
An overlook
A stream
Nature surrounding
The kiss happens
It's perfect to her
She loves it
As do I
I feel that rush again

Stage 3: The convincing
The dating
The kissing
The sensations
All are easy to see why it's sensational
The feeling of her skin against mine
The listening to her perfect breath move her chest
In and out
In and out
I tell her I love her
She isn't sure at first
But I try harder
As we continue
And I succeed
I feel the euphoria coming in

Step 4: The love
That comfort
That security
That feeling of serenity
It cloaks me
Wraps me around
Its sky blue blanket
And lays me in
A green field
She's there too
Next to me
Feeling the same earth
Beneath us
I turn to her
Eyes whatever color
It nonetheless dazzles me
It fills me with something dangerous
Hope
That rush is gliding me through

Stage 5: The loss
Parents get in the way
She loses that feeling
I'm a *******
But either way
That feeling
That was once with her
Is gone
She walks the thin line
Performing a balancing act
Trying to find reason to be together but can't
She calls me up on the phone
Tells me how everything is wrong
I don't see it
I can't see it
Our love was perfect!
We both made it!
And now you're killing it!
We meet up
I beg but she's stands her ground
She walks up
Leaves
I'm alone
Left to sob
Yell
Get angry
That adrenaline rush from the high rises

Stage 6: The hate
The pacing
The change of thoughts
I still love her one day
I despise her the next
I feel anxiety kick in
Try my best to hold it
But can't
I call her up
Yell at her
Scream at her
Tell her that
She threw something great away
She hangs up
Blocks me
Never speaks to me again
I still keep pacing
Feeling more often guilty
Than angry
ineverwantedtohurtyoualliwantedtodowassaveyoufromanyoneelse­iknowthatisaidiwantedyoutosufferbutthatsnnottrueatalliddoanything­
Sometimes I still feel that hope
But it's fading
Fades fast
It's all over

My high is going down
I need to go back
And cook some more

She moves on quickly
I got her addicted too
She feels that addiction too
It draws us both in
And we can't imagine
What it would be like to leave
It is the cycle
That helps make us
And the cycle
That can break us

i hope she loves you more than her thoughts could ever build the words.
i want her to hold your hand and laugh when you say the dumbest jokes.
whisper seductive things to make you stay.
i hope you stay.
happy? of course!
i hope she makes your grin stretch so far
you need a gps to find your way back to sanity.
i hope she leaves “i love you” spelled out in magnets on the fridge.
you deserve it! yes, yes, you do.
when you’re on the verge of tears
i hope she’s close enough to catch them just before they hit the floor.
i hope her kiss leaves you drunk and parched.
i hope you yearn, lust, fall so hard
that nor cement, concrete, or bricks could bring you to a halt.
let her be the best thing that’s ever stepped into your life.
memorize every inch from the strands of her hair to the space between her toes.
i hope her taste stains your tongue.
her touch leaves prints on everything.
i hope she tells her friends about you and lets her parents know you’re the one.
if you both happen to run into me
i’ll smile and chat about my day
ignoring that what she is to you
you used to be to me.
(but most of all i hope she breaks your heart.)