in dreams
we eloped

planned ceremony
of simple bands

Southern priest and
lizards basking mausoleums

my father
made us late

by puking his
stored bourbon on my gown

as I was
beating him ruthlessly

our dream
fell apart

like white bread
in milk

Cinderella Situation



there is something

totally unnerving to me

about a single abandoned shoe

in a parking lot.



where is the other one?



where is the foot- the owner?



when did this happen?



did the person have to hobble off?



They had to notice they lost a

shoe, right?



was it a Cinderella situation?

did someone race home before midnight-

lest be shamed?

would it be best if I tried the rottenflop

on every maiden’s foot in the land?



was the person kidnapped?

were they forcefully abducted and

torn away from this life-

into a sack,

calling the four walls of a car trunk

home?

are they waiting for a chance of escape

or

for the final release from ongoing pain

and terror

forever unknown to me?



so many **** questions

but the intrigue, it lingers-



did the person lose it out of a moving

car?

kicked their leg in summer bliss to the beat of song

and laughed about it later,



or



was someone fed up with the ill-fitting shoe

and chucked it,

and are now being forced to wear a mismatched pair

now that the anger has worn off

and the embarrassment has set in?



was the person crazy?

one of the many escaped or released patients

from the blocks and blocks of hospitals downtown

frothing with fading restraining medication,

and frenzied with ****** motivation-

barking at people in a single scuffed shoe-



I just realized that I still haven’t left my

car,

and have been only staring at this **** flip flop-

for a time longer than anyone should, but



it looks…chewed?



Is the owner even still alive?

In a lit parlor you recite pain

Anecdote

She went missing, babe split in the night

I’m placid and have mastered jealousy

this time,

I know a friend best when I can face them leg splayed.



But that old ghost howls,



Old ghost

Old shame

Old photos alone.

I had a unibrow in one and my shirt was too big

but I thought it was stylish

And I thought I could be a model.



Whatever happened to that photo?

Where do old memories go when you toss them out

with the trash?

I always thought the garbage man must have a

fat photo album.

I guess I should be more careful

I guess I should learn to let go



I’m walking with my head held high

My hair twin serpents on my breast

And I stumble over a meaty stump-

It’s alive with larva and its eyes are ripe

And its tongue hangs out of its maw vulgarly

It laps at my ankle

“Remember me? Remember me?”

CAN’T YOU STAY DEAD

I hear myself shouting from somewhere totally vulnerable and

Why did I ever let you touch me?



Thanks so much-

Girl with mile long hair and coat hanger undertow

you simply cannot see anything

with you head in the waves.





Tired nerves in her hazel eyes-

did something slip behind my face or yours?

Splintered resolve from the heavy labor,

beat back disgust

feigned enlightenment.





I will do this for you

as you’ve done for me.

When the night clouds churn like

organs of vapor digesting

and the big yellow moon

stood high and shined,

the anxious tides

thrashing fast- but you kept pace.

A mirror, a fast coral sea mirror.



Bleached not my beauty, your legs solid sea foam.

Flesh honey I can hardly tolerate,

and my eyes can only trace trace trace

and I’m savoring this awkward dance between us

your throat of raspy dead notes

it’s the sound of autumn stomping.



Sporadic messages in bottles littered

your back yard of waves,

Don’t forget your eye on the door

no amount of birthday parties will ever save you.

ladybum intimidates

wandering in the median

body bent,

hair coarsely pulled in crooked pony tail.

what happened to your face?

were you born that way?

with cupped hands, pleading-

stopping my car at the intersection,

driver’s side window-

my trying to be cold but guiltily relenting

people are watching and

what will they think?

your crazy eyes pierce me desperately

wild emotion and

something once described to me as crocodile tears-

Tensely clutching the steering wheel,

hastily scooping change and used fuses

to pour them into your hands

wishing you away-

some kinda spell of some halfhearted charity.

depart depart leave my pity intact

so that I don’t see myself

in the gaps of your missing teeth.

the guilt you spill

making my heart heavy

like a gull in petroleum.

I still see you from time to time

and resentfully I examine you,

ladybum-

bent body, missing chin and Baba Yaga legs.

thinking you some kind of witch,

avoiding you like

cracks in the sidewalk.

what a mean girl I am
throwing around words I half understand
letting them bump and bruise strangers
not thinking it might hurt them later

what an awful person they must see
a person no one wants to be
making promises she can't keep
and disappointing in the end

A perfect example of what not to do
doing things not well thought through
crude and cruel down to the bone
yet wonders why she's left alone.

I pack my bags
Inside my mind
Line my things
And count the times
Dripping clocks
And suitcase thoughts
It's all a puddle
Splash of loss
Broken fevers
Sweating meters
Quarters drop
Heads get tossed
From skipping
In crosswalks
Humming
During long talks
Hiding
In a freight box
And stopping








With the
Blank thoughts

dangling,
trickling
stuck
in the sheets
you turned,
and spoke
as you looked
into me

"stop"

"it's too late"

"don't forget to close the gate"

Auto pilot;
Droning on through the day
Barely realizing where I work,
Just knowing that that's all I do.

The most feeling I have
Is the bothersome itch
From the Mosquitos
Attacking my legs all night.

Scratches, sores, bruises, scars
Painted across my pale skin.
All from work work work
Except for one.

Funny to see what the years do
To the skin you wear
And that so many scars
Just barely heal.

Ive never written
A happy poem
Ive never written
a funny lymric
I feel its just
in my nature
To be sad
And write
depressing poems
Because I guess
Ive felt depressed
more than anything else.