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Star Gazer Jan 2017
Show me a field that is filled with golden flowers
hours upon hours the smell of the grass elevates the scents
that seems to send passerbys into an overdrive of envy.
Lend me your hand so that my coarse skin is softened by yours,
the door to my heart is forever open awaiting your entrance
and the defences are fending off other fiends so don't worry about guard
because as hard as it is to trust, I've let my guards down a long time ago.
Show me that you can be the green to my gold
let us grow old but never grow up as we play like kids
let the bliss fill both our hearts as we unite together against the world.
Girl, will you find it in yourself to love me? ...as much as I love you?
Star Gazer Apr 2016
I resist the restraint
That society creates
I see people paint
Outside of lines
Outside of times.

Individuals invested in impromptu
To distinguish themselves old from new
To let out a little light for those with a dimmed view
Just to give chance to dreams and hopes people pursue.
We all face challenges and blockades we have to go through
It's part of being human.
I'm a human, and you are too,
~Let's not make boxes from lines.
As people all stand in a line
All aligned
To follow a set order,
Just to buy a box
Encasing the new Phone.~
Star Gazer Aug 2016
I was not the only kid who grew up this way,
taught to believe I was a complete waste
because we'd never been taught to pause
but just to continue on as though ricochets
of words never pierced through the skin
and that the flicker of flame within
will always remain lit, we always pressed play.
It didn't feel that way, the right way;
I'd remember on a specific Friday,
as the other kids raced to enjoy
their time before the weekend arrives,
I heard a kid I didn't know, ask
"Why don't we play vehicles? It's simple".
...
"What's vehicles?" I asked with a smile,
lit by the internal flames of happiness,
a smile lit by an expectation that
fun was to be had.
...
"Vehicles is simple. You're fat, so you
be a truck or a semi-trailer truck.
And you'd try to chase us cars."
...
I didn't press pause, I'd continue to play
with a broken smile lit on my face
as though the pummelling words had no
impact
...
I was not the only kid who grew up this way,
taught to believe I was a complete waste
because we'd never been taught to pause...
and I wished I had pressed pause...
before a spiral of artillery hit my artery
became a stained conscience
on what is really okay to believe in.

Do I believe in the models on screen
or do I believe in the heroes the world hasn't seen.
It's become obstinately obscene...
And I wished in this cataclysm of movies
in this cataclysm of choices I have made
in this cataclysm of regretful mistakes
I wished I pressed pause and simply said

"I may have a big waist,
But I am not a complete waste
because the best things in the world
aren't an illusion created by the eyes."

Let's play vehicles.

We'll all be cars and run thoughts of division over,
because we were all made to be loved.


because we are all beautiful

**No more playing,
It's no longer fun and games,
let's bring a change
by pressing pause
and simply saying...
"I am not a waste".
Star Gazer Apr 2016
Dear Daisy Dilly Dalley
You noticed I wrote Dilly Dally,
It's because I've been to large valleys,
Roamed through the darkest alleys,
Saw exquisite masterpiece in art galleries,
Met people named Margaret and Mallory
But I still can't address you as Daisy Buchanan.

The green light across the pier still flickers
And even though I bicker
with my subconscious state of mind,
I wonder, is this luxury life-
worth living without you?
Without you by my side?
The green light is but a taunt now,
saying go- yet at the same time
creating a tension in my heart-
saying this.....
will never happen.
Please come back to me,
or at least write a letter back to me-
Give my best to Tom as well...
                                                         ­   Love you always,
                                                               Jay Gatsby
Star Gazer Apr 2016
He looks directly into her sullen eyes
'If you don't take your medication
You will without a doubt die'.
She replies damning god's creation
'I don't care if I cease to exist tomorrow
I have done all I have done,
Should you be blessed to live my sorrow
Know that you have had your fun'.

He wrote a letter wishing she was in his arms
'I'm sorry that I couldn't be better
I'm sorry I couldn't keep you from harm
I just wish that this remaining letter
Will slightly help with your depression,
Know that if you need to hurt someone
I can be the punching bag to relieve your aggression
And although I'm not there, I'm never gone.
Should I meet my doom or other words die
Know that you were forever on my mind '
Star Gazer Aug 2016
Letters to empty corpses,
the paper, absorbent
to the tears I've expelled
I've written my voice,
yelped a little yell,
learnt to correctly spell,
just in hopes that these
letters would reach you.

But they don't...

There's no one left,
no one on the other side,
who once i could confide,
I've left in a pretence
of stride, that these words
are seen by your eyes,
I'd heard you read them
aloud in my head, over
and over your voice echo
like the footstep march
of a million soldiers
all taking that one step closer
to what they spent their life
avoiding. I've pretended
that my letters have reached
you...

But they don't...

Letters to empty corpses...
Hoping you'd forfeit
what you call pride,
from the other side,
read the contents enclosed
by just opening the envelope.

But you don't...

Letters to empty corpses
unread by your eyes
due to some deeper forces,
unread by your eyes
Letters to empty corpses
that bled my heart...

All the letters and papers,
pages from the past,
as empty as shadows
in the night...
Star Gazer Feb 2016
We leapt to lies,
Struggling to conceptualise,
Why other people were so **** happy.
Star Gazer Aug 2016
I'm sorry. Mr. Gazer, your life is being played with,
You've gathered the sweetest memories you've ever tasted;
Now you think you're going to hold onto them forever?
Clearly you don't have a ******* brain because you're mistaken,
Everything you forsook and have ******* forsaken,
I'm telling you, I'm taking it all back.
Look around Mr. Gazer, you're ******* hated;
you're a disappointment to your family, but I won't mention friends,
**** if I did mention friends, I don't think this will ever end.
Mr. Gazer. Mr. Gazer, why don't you sing well at all?
Is it cause you drink yourself silly even way before the bar's last call;
is it because you have one ******* and no ******* *****?
Mr. Gazer. Mr. Gazer, how would you like to challenge the world,
watch how you can make all the people's arm hair curls;
as they cheering you on, from start to end?
Oh Mr. Gazer, you're too ******* gullible.
This isn't a message out of hatred you ******* *******,
this is a word of wisdom from your new best friend : LIFE.
I don't know when this sentence ends
but welcome to Life my new best friend.

Mr. Life, I've tried and tried,
I've been to the optometrist,
they said nothing was wrong with my lenses
but when it pours rain, nothing feels cleansed;
everything become blurry.
Mr. Life, You don't need to end your sentence,
I've done that many times for you;
I've done that almost every day...
After all, what are friends for?
...
So here's how it should end,
Goodbye my new best-friend.
Star Gazer Mar 2016
Life is like a play
Every place a stage
Each line never fades
And beginnings are new pages.

Life is like a play
Full of life, love
And sadness that was all
Written from storytellers above.

When the lights are switched off
No centre stage nor audience
We ask ourselves "where do we go?"
When there is no longer a show...
Star Gazer Apr 2016
Clothes hanger on the floor coated in blood,
It was the culture, the traditions,
Emotions and tears on the face did flood,
Simply based on pure premonition.

A mother's mentality subjugated,
To select between disappearance and remaining.
They claim that existence wasn't ill fated,
But no one choice absolute from mental feigning.

Life is for the taking, prior to taking is life,
This tradition has kept mothers from uncertain strife.
Star Gazer Feb 2016
A man in a coma is told "move away from the light"
A man in a tunnel is told "seek the light as it is only right"
So I am sat here confused in the dark silently still,
Wondering what my next move is and what to do,
"oh wait never mind" i just forgot to pay my electricity bill.
Guess saying"you're only as good as the light people give you" is true.
Star Gazer Feb 2016
I was confused,
So between being completely lost
And
Being completely found,
A light shone on me,
To guide me,
That light was you,

And

I would walk
A million miles
To stay under this light
Again.
Star Gazer May 2016
I need you in the way I need the sun's rays
I love you in the way I love the warmth of the sun
I love you in a way that the skies was held by the sun
I love you in the way that the clouds belonged in the skies
I love you with every light within me

But then what happens after the light goes out?

Then I will love you in darkness,
I love you with all of the beats of my heart
Because I don't love you for your looks
Nor
For what my sight may bring to me
But
I love you for you.
Star Gazer Feb 2016
Way up past the clouds,
Atop a gently swaying tree,
Is a sight of the serene sea,
A pride of lion so proud,
I clenched onto the tree,
Not letting go,
NOT LETTING GO
....
If i let go.
I'll be lions' **** by morning.
HELP.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
I once heard
'A happy man is a full man',
But with an empty stomach
And a smile on my face
I believe
'A happy man is a happy man'.

It has finally happened,
My mind has done what I thought
Was impossible.
I believe all of you can too,
You all can be happy.
Star Gazer May 2016
You are the kindest girl I have met.
Your smile shines brighter than any stars
And if I could I would give you a million roses
And each one would definitely worth it.
You are coated in a petal of sweetness
And though every rose stands
You are a rose that stands out.
Pretty petals of a perfect pretty rose
is a metaphor that doesn't cover enough.
Your sense of humour is fantastic,
The things you say aren't sarcastic
It's humourous and adorable.
You are a precious little rose.
Star Gazer Mar 2016
In a car,
On a highway
And my only thought.
I could totally slam
This car into that
Metal pole.
For once,
I felt like I was
In control...

But I don't have long
Anyways.
Why shorten
my already short
time.
Star Gazer Sep 2016
In a crowd of faces, some old, some new
But I shouldn't feel as lonely as I do.
Star Gazer Mar 2016
When laughs and cheers were shared,
Sudden silence settles,
The pain and anger beared,
Fenced by rotten petals.

The hiss of loneliness remains,
All peers left without an explanation,
Binded to unbreakable chains,
A bleak past without illumination.
Star Gazer Mar 2016
Unsung symphonies
Sang her heart towards slumber
Leaving him lonely.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
You have a little starlight left in you
An undying flicker of burning flame
And the canvas is left to feel quite blue
Yet you keep your head up high all the same.

When you go to slumber, your friends arrive
With their cheers, their happiness and their joy
Yet through dark clouds and blue skies you survive
And brought bright light for others to enjoy.

The sun, that sits like an inmate in bars
Selflessly carried on spreading brightness
And couldn't ever join the other stars
Yet never did the light dim the slightest.
Star Gazer Mar 2016
Sigh a little louder maybe they’ll hear you,
Cry a little river while you’re at it too.
Scream your lungs out for the world to hear,
And yet no one lends you a listening ear.
You look for someone close to turn to,
But all your peers have their back turned too.
Is any I love you's ever real?
Or is this the result of removing a new plastic peel?
Star Gazer Feb 2016
Look to the skies, look to the skies,
For the cloud surely never lies.
Look to the stars, look to the stars,
For the beauty will heal your scars.
Look to the seas, look to the seas,
For the comfort of the cold breeze.
Look to the lights, look to the lights,
For the hope that lay in between the nights.
Look to the words, look to the words,
For all they require is to be heard.
Star Gazer May 2016
I wandered a path to where I am now
Each turn taken, each stained page
Detailed everything that has occurred
But surely if you look back into my history
Everything I have seen and done
Has slowly and assuredly become blurred.
Star Gazer Mar 2016
Watch how the sky twists
From clear blue to complete grey
Bringing hell on Earth.

Walking on lone walks
Reminiscing on the past
As skies start to rain.

Rain leaks from my eyes
The birds fly back to their nests
As I become lost.

Breathing is a chore
Existing where things will die
Praying for blue skies.

Blue skies that never
Seem to ever reappear,
Life is a hassle.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
He claimed to be a poet
Though his words
Could never show it
Because he'd never known
What words to describe
The most beautiful
Artist he'd ever known.

He claimed to be proficient
With usage of words
Yet he could never find
The exact words that came
To mind
When he wanted to write
About the talented artist.

He suggested to a thousand
Strangers
That his word
Changes
With every thought
But yet he saw no change
In his words
When he wrote about
The smartest girl
He'd ever known.

He tried to tie
The threads of his mind
The knots within his soul
Over what words to use
To form a string of words
Befitting someone
As amazing as her.
Yet, none came to mind,
None did occur
Over what words
Described her
Except; indescribable.
Dedicated to the special poet/artist.
Star Gazer Feb 2016
Struggling to stay alive,
We found ways to survive,
That was when we found love.
A feel that the sky is over us,
That it will always be above,
And the clouds rained of fluff,
Showering us in nothing but love.

Love penetrates the clouds,
To let the sunshine pass through,
For wherever the sky enshrouds,
There lives a little love too.
Star Gazer Mar 2016
We were star-crossed lovers
With stars completely faded
Upon the pellucid canvas
From hearts barricaded.

We were crossed lovers
Anger emanated from our soul
Clouded coils created catastrophe
preventing us to be complete wholes.

We were lovers
Pain and misplaced anger dissipated
by trust and words exchanged
Accomodating the memories created.

We loved.
Loved like a love created above the skies
Stronger than any weightlifting olympiad
We shared a loving bond unbreakable by lies.

We love,
The way a bee loves collecting honey
With love coursing through our veins
We love, like the sun loves being called sunny.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
Love is
Holding hands
On green pastures
As your feet
Meets
The blades of grass
Tickling
Right to your heart.

Love is
Running on the sand
Towards the clear blue
Waters
That keep both your
Soul
As fluid as the waves.

Love is
Kisses in the morning
Followed
By endless smiles
As
The two stare into
Each
Other's eyes.

You know what's good
About love?
Love is chaotic
Love is not cemented
Love is different
For each different people
And
Love will unite two
People who feel love
The same way.
Whether it'll be at
An art gallery
At an orchestra
At a concert
Or even in a house.

My love
Is someone who
Will skydive with me
Staring into my eyes
And as we land
They ask me
'You're ok right?',
And we kiss
As I interrupt
The kiss with a joke
(if I knew I'd get a kiss
I'd drop you from a plane
More often

Or some
Other method,
Just to see her smile)
So we both
Laugh while looking
At each other.
Then again
I haven't found my
True definition
Of love as yet,
It could be as simple
As writing a poem
Together
Or reciting a poem
To each other
Or the simplistic
Idea of just giving
Feedback to a poem.
Love strikes like
A misdirected
Arrow,
For love is chaotic
But beautiful.
I love you.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
Love with a love that burns brighter than the sun
Because when your final breath comes undone
You'll know that love will leave you wishing
That you have loved deeper, loved harder,
and loved more.
Star Gazer Feb 2016
They convinced us that maybe we weren't meant to be loved,
as though the crippling sky wasn't made above,
when push came to shove,
we would yell "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"
We weren't the pillow that people fluffed,
left to be coated and settled in dust,
from dawn to dusk.

We stood out,
The black sheeps, mythical dragons and unicorns,
ostracized from trumpets and flutes we were unique horns,
the same way we were never the petals but the thorns.

We were thrown salty remarks
until prickling words made their mark.
They would never quit,
until roses began to decay and wilt,
draining the black ink from the feathered quilt,
till it became useless.
Humans however are not quilt,
there is no black ink to be drained,
only the love in our hearts that became stained,
with all their criticism,
and yet they thought it was pleasurable to our ears,
dipping us in the same light as those who enjoy masochism.


Love comes from inside the heart,
but they made us feel as though looks is where it starts,
and while everyone else were cars we were go-karts,
always felt inferior at their words,
and in constant pretense that they were not heard.

Our words became loss in translation,
slowly we eventually loss our patience,
As though somehow we became a part of a nation,
A nation that despised those who stood out,
Filling our minds and soul with doubt,
Until there's nothing left to do but shout.

Even when we were loved since birth,
they tried to degrade our true worth,
so as afflicted souls wander on,
we ask ourselves, "was the love ever gone?"
Star Gazer Mar 2016
I fell in love with you
all over again yesterday
Star Gazer Apr 2016
I had forgotten
What it was like to feel loved
Until I met you
Star Gazer Mar 2016
If the last year has taught me anything
Its that love is all about correct timing
That love is a beautiful emotion
Comparable to the grandest ocean.
Love is more than just timing though
It's not a tale to tell but a way to show
That there are empty 'I love yous'
Which only ever come into view
When things start turning more sour
Slowly and surely, hour by hour.

If the last year has taught me anything
It's that if it's with the right one
It takes more than just timing
To keep the feeling of love from being gone.

Thank you for teaching me this lesson.
No matter how much you love someone, if they don't love you back then that is a clear indication the two are incompatible.
Star Gazer May 2016
I leapt, upon thy silhouette,
At first glanced of a shadow
Sprung life into mine feet
While fingers slip to let go.

Cursed cacophony of mine
Sung beauty with tragic
And healed hurting hearts
With orderly havoc.

Thy presence lurks around
Like a wraith's touch
But mine heart haunted by
The ghost of love lost, just as much.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
Heartbreaks and heartaches
yet I know not of love nor life
a thousand garnered mistakes
constructed a road right to you.

Million echoes of your soul
Blind to mine heart and eyes
Like an inanimate doll
Mine ears heard of beats.

I know not of life nor love
Though I were to guess
Blessed by an eternal dove
Mine cries and yours fade.
Star Gazer May 2016
Never regret that you have loved
But instead
Only ever regret that you have not loved.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
Here the two eyes did fatefully collide
Though dwelled two souls they were one
And though she was not formally his bride
The battles only began; yet the war has been won.
But still arises new heights to the skies
Though he lost his life a myriad of years past
With warm and calculated lies
She convinced herself his breath was not the last

A million well threaded conspiracies
Yet no sunshine after a storm
And it always appears to be
There's a lingering undying warmth,
That no matter how many years it's been
for her it's ; forever twenty-sixteen
Star Gazer Feb 2016
This is for those who have had a broken heart
Who wept and screamt as it fell apart
People telling you the end is where it starts
"DON’T TELL ME WHERE IT ******* STARTS."
It stems from a belief that maybe, just maybe
if we were right they would never leave,
so we fall just a little harder than others
left our fathers and our mothers
out of the equation because we were in love.
And being in love was enough.

You promise yourself to shut that beat
To silence the sound of love’s heat
because you know the next time
it will be the same.
It becomes ingrained in you
to never trust that the sky is blue
saw cars running over cans
like it was about to run over you.
You fell at the feet of those
who stomped on you countless
believing that that beat will
vanish…
It doesn’t.
You’re deluding yourself
It doesn’t ever stop for anyone
including yourself.

So fall in love, have as many heartbreaks
Have so much heartbreaks that your heart
becomes just art because he
would have left with everything
washed away beyonds the seas
saw no waves of content
only waves of anguish
HE LEFT FROM YOUR HEART.
**And ...now all that’s left is art…
This goes out to those who have love and lost, trust me just keep doing so one day someone will reciprocate and everything will be right. For a long, long time I'm finally having all my demons and everything realigned.

My close friend taught me something over this break. She spoke to me and said "you know why the tortoise beat the hare?"....

I answered , "because slow and steady wins the race?"...

She said, "no you *******....the tortoise taught us that its always ok to get a taxi cab or Uber. You don't have to do **** alone".
And ... she helped me get out of that darkspot , so I thank her. This goes out to what she told me .
Star Gazer Jan 2016
I love you more,
Than the sky will ever know.
Star Gazer May 2016
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've found love
without you.
It's with a smile
and a mirror
and he will
always be nearer.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
How did I get lucky
enough to have met you?
Star Gazer Feb 2016
She descended upon Earth,
Feathered wings drop,
And ever since birth,
She has made hearts stop.

In her teenage years,
She made false promises,
Forcing drain tears,
From incorrect prophecies.

She spoke of love,
Yet had none to show,
She spoke of dove,
Yet no peace to know.

She was lucifer embellished,
In human skin,
She made lives hellish,
To all humans akin.

She preyed on trusting hearts,
Tearing at the threads in place,
Till they all crumbled apart,
from her false embrace.
{Curvaceous Katie inspire Poem]
Star Gazer Aug 2016
constant up and downs
like we're looking to find
but never actually found
that peaceful inner place
but maybe that inner space
isn't exactly a space
we were ever meant to find.
Maybe we were meant to find
it in someone else
a simple beg for help
a simple cry or yelp,
it's magical.
But maybe magic wasn't
ever meant to be found
in ourselves but in others.
We've found food from our mothers,
caught fights with our brothers
taught love to others
and even frowned upon fathers.
Maybe magic isn't something inside us,
maybe magic is inside people that we love,
the strength to lift a heavy car
or leap tall buildings in a single jump
maybe the only way to rise is up
and maybe we can only do it by love,
but life is full of maybes
and in December, bees seem to disappear,
maybe to never reappear
but the sting will always be there.
One thing we can be certain
is that we can always find magic
in someone else
and at most times,
a little inkling of magic
is left in ourselves.

Let's realise that happiness isn't magic,
it just feels magical
and maybe we can spread this magic,
because maybe's exist in our world.
We may not be all wizards or witches
but lets try to cast a little happiness
to the ones we love.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
Cast a spell on me
For I believe in magic
Since I have met you.
Star Gazer Oct 2016
Try a little harder,
think a little smarter
because happily ever after
doesn't happen overnight.
Disney fed us fairy tales
of following fairy trails
to places where everything
will be alright
but beautiful things,
they don't happen overnight.

Let yourself know 'you'll be alright'
hold your head up high,
keep marching on that field
because you are soldier
and I don't know what Disney sold you
but you'll have to make your own miracles.
[My last poem- Goodbye fellow poets, it's been a great two years betwixt you and me].
Star Gazer Feb 2016
A brand new canvas,
Brushing strokes sway back and forth,
Canvas now tainted.
Star Gazer Feb 2016
I wore a smile from the hospital
To my father's funeral.
I wore a smile from the boys' ******
To the mens' ******.
I would cut at my emotional tumour,
With nothing but my sense of humour,
As though laughing will make the pain go away,
And somehow I could see a brighter day,
A brighter hour, brighter minute and brighter second,
somehow always waiting, wishing and guessing,
when that bright light will arrive.

Reality is very different,
We could only see as far as our eyes let us,
We would never be able to see pass the skin,
To where true pain begins.
We would never see the true pain that comes from the heart,
We would never witness the heart tearing itself apart.

We would touch up on our make up,
To coat our emotions in a mask,
While others hid it in a flask,
So our true pain will never be seen,
whether it'll be in face or on a screen.

They treated us as though the pains of yesterday,
Could somehow be wished away,
As though the marks on our arm,
Would relieve us of all our inner harm.
We hanged onto hope,
Even if it was a thin piece of rope,
WE HANGED ON.

So how much is really in a smile,
And a constant telling of jokes,
As though clowns don't feel choked,
By the sadness that torments everyone.

What percentage of what we feel,
Isn't locked away with a seal?
Or being replaced by real facades,
When wearing a mask is our best guard?
Star Gazer May 2016
We mask the pain we feel
With bottles and pills
Smudged all blue to teal
as we coated the sadness.

We lose ourselves in the process of masking ourselves
Because
Every now and then you wake up as someone else,
And
That someone might be someone you hate
Or
Someone you could never recognise
Until
You finally lose yourself
And
Forget who you really are.
Star Gazer Apr 2016
She was a masterpiece
Not perfected by a facade of brushstrokes
Or a myriad of different colours,
She was a masterpiece
Because she could appreciate her imperfections
Every drip of paint onto the canvas,
Every smudge of ink on the page,
Every incorrect mixture of colours,
She could appreciate that she wasn't perfect
And that made her
A masterpiece.
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