The mirror beckons, a beast emerges,
I've fought against fists and thoughts
but at times we give ourselves to urges
and hope remains successful victors.

Oasis clouds caught between drifts
as tide rips waves against waves
caught between the aquatic tidal rifts
avoiding any chance at mistakes.

I look at the mirror with frozen frowns,
I have been here before, just the same;
held onto hope, nailing it down
because I have been called monster
more than I would like to admit.

'Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too.
They live inside us, and sometimes they win.'

Her name was Lucy,
Folded paper planes
always chased pouring rains
just because she believed
that there's a rainbow awaiting.
She threw herself
into torrential turmoil,
ate apples that turned spoilt
because an apple a day
kept the doctors away.

She is now nineteen
and no matter how
many years it has been
she'd visit the same sights
visit the same scenes
waited for the storm
to clear up.

Her name was Lucy,
Folded paper planes,
threw them into the air
hoping that they'd reach space,
but she's come to realise
it's all a mistake.
Sometimes she waited for the storm
to end,
shelter and defend against the rain,
but sometimes,
she would question the rainbow;
and this brought upon more questions,
on whether angels were built
with halos
or whether angels merely bought them.

She told me once
'This isn't really living is it?
Chasing the pouring rain
hoping to find something
that will keep me sane.
Throwing paper planes
that fall to the ground
when the air is gone
and the two merely
washed away.'

Her name was Lucy,
Folded paper planes,
and she couldn't
ever understand
where her life was
supposed to begin.

So a reminder from me:
Fold your paper planes
let them soar
and keep them afloat,
because one day
they will guide you to
a rainbow.

I begged and pleaded
Bled the beats of my heart
Hoping that the butterfly
Would flutter on its way
But it didn't.

The winds were brutal
as wings flapped as usual;
I had hoped the butterfly
hadn't dropped.

My best friend said
'Don't worry it's just sick';
Coated herself in her
child-like bliss,
I replied to her with
'Ok. It's just sick'.

The teens were brutal
And she held the storms
With a broken umbrella
As usual.
She would tell me
'Sometimes humans are
alike butterflies;
We'd show our beauty
but silence our cries'.

After a while her words
just stopped,
The first day I walked
pass her house,
Knocked on the wooden
frame;
Hoping that I would see her
again,
but silence responded to my
door knock.
The door remained locked.

I was the only one allowed
to knock;
while others used the doorbell
I was the one she would always tell,
'Just knock the door-
it will be our thing'.
Soon after 'our thing'
became nothing.

The second day;
I walked pass her house
Knocked on the door
just hoping that
there'll be an answer,
that she'd dance
her way to the door
and responded.

Her parents went missing
for a while,
Held onto broken smiles
While painting permanent frowns
on smiling clowns.
I have seen things broken,
But their smile sat like
barbed wires along a patch
of empty land.
Their smiles were
the kind, not to keep sheep in
but to keep everything else out.

I came by the third day
Hoping to end my dismay,
I knocked on the door;
she did not answer the door,
And I fell to the porch
cried tears over how
I wished it all went back to before.

I did that for the remaining week;
Hoping that she'd open the door
But she wasn't six feet away from the door;
She'd remain to this day
Not one millimetre from my heart
and memory.

Sometimes humans are
alike butterflies;
We'd show our beauty
but silence our cries...

I have set my heart to rest in the palms
Of so many others, each a spiralling hate
grown from the echoes of differences
but I guess I've come to regret my mistakes.
I have loved as much as I have lost
Watched the tides take love from me like a kite
caught between the drifts of stormy winds
Just hoping that one day things will be alright.
Maybe I trusted myself with too many others,
screamed 'here take a piece of my heart...
do what you want with it because I trust you
Not to ever break it into pieces and parts'.
I never did learn, what it was like to not trust
And I guess doing so, I drew the short end
of a twisted stick, just some sick game to those
Who saw it fun to break hearts over and over.
I look around, I see people filled with life
Filled with joy, I look at a mirror and I see
a desperate cry for help that goes unheard
because of all the things unsaid like simply
'I love you and I hope you do too'.
I guess me...and others...we weren't meant to be
We weren't meant to ever be lovers.
So I write this dedicated to those who I've loved...
And those who I have lost.

'A part of me will always remember what we had
And you might not think you had an impact
But I guess you gave me a piece of myself I never
knew that I ever had.

You have a piece of my heart-
And you can keep it;
I won't need it where I'm going...'

From: Someone you once knew, and someone who needs to forget.

The dust settles in;
I lay one hand over,
Sweep the cobwebs
Wipe the carvings.
I leave you flowers
Settled on grass,
Along with phrases
that I never had
A chance to speak;
I lay onto you
Those words of
How I love you
...
I guess the
proper words:
'Happy fathers day'.

We weren't all made this way;
Left the classrooms just to pray
Hoping that the school bell
would take away the pain.

The light guiding us has been long gone
Replaced by the same old song
Of how we weren't ever made to belong,
We fought off tides after tides of criticism.

We told ourselves we were better than them
...We had to be.

We're all so captivated by the moment
Letting it slip by as eyes lit up by phones.
We've created sadness and happiness
In rectangles that connects those alone,
Except it's just a different kind of loneliness;
Hit escape, backspace, redefine the definition
Of what it meant to be alone.

We're all connected, we've forgotten
Whether to check or uncheck the connection,
We've lived as circles on a square nothing
More than bits of bytes for an avatar;
Where we witness *** before driving a car,
And we're caught in some lie the world built
That we are so enchanted by thoughts of
"The single ladies are in your area"
So we build blindfolds on what truth the lie beholds
We're all just bits and bytes of data.

So how much more of mankind are we
Where our eyes are glued to a screen
And chatrooms are as far as we've ever been.

We're all striving to be  in the latest social circles
That we redefined circle to mean a locked box.
So hit escape, backspace and in either way
we'll always find ourselves unchanged.

In a world of wires and threads
Of bits and bytes of data
How alone have we become?
Where information superhighways
Are all full of passing cars.
Tragic that traffic keeps moving
And we'd forever remain friends
But yet strangers all in the like.

You tried and you tried,
Taunted me while I cried.
I've had enough of you,
You coloured your skies
With the blue that I provide,
My pain soothes your soul
As though we're all a game
Moving your pawns back
and forth.

A chess game where
going back is a possibility
each strategy filled with
nothing but hostility.

This is my legacy
Read my words
And you will hear
the sounds of my cries
Read my words
And you will find
the tattered pieces
of my life.

You won't find me dead,
You won't take me alive.
I've got nothing left to hide.

What if humans didn't have eyebrows
Would we all just hide out
Or would we spend our nights out,
because monsters should not be seen in daylight
and the moon is always in our favour.
We're werewolves and vampires,
And the blue skies lit by the sun
did not belong to us.

We are monsters after all, and daylight
meant exposing ourselves to ridicule and judgement,
as though we could never find beauty in simple;
it is perfect circled smiles with dimples
that were considered cute, and the larger angles
were obtuse while the smaller are acute.

We label it 'fashion statement'
it is make-up on faces,
constant changing tastes,
just to fit in with the popular.
The masses, the larger groups;
always stuck on "what is the latest scoop"
as though life was one big cone of ice cream.


We've been in and out before
We've been through open doors,
We've built buildings
To create ceilings.
Just to keep monsters
and the less popular,
inside.
Stuck between being buried six feet under
and the ceiling.

I knew a girl once
Pure to the pinch of a petal
But lust filled fiends found her
Unfazed to the thought of intimacy
and so distorted intimacy to twisted turns
claiming her sweet nectar as she lay unawake.

I knew a girl once
Pure to the pinch of a petal... no more.
...
Pure to the pinch of a petal;
the twisted turns did burn
and the ashes and embers cast away
into the winds as though no fault to find,
I knew a girl once
who knew of the world;
I knew a girl once
who knew of the future;
I knew a girl once
who smiled a slanted smile;
I knew a girl once
...But not anymore, do I know her.

May god find her the peace she never found.

A chasm of silent cries
My life has been one wild ride
Where violent skies
painted the lows from my high.

I've felt ugly in more ways
Than I've ever been told
I've sat out on cold days
Because nothing was ever warm.

The illusory orbs above me
They taunt their tales
Of how I am born ugly
And I chant 'words don't matter'.

I guess I am a hypocrite
Because I've taught of bright lights
Yet stared into the abyss
unable to visualise a single spectrum.

Do not get me wrong
I am not built of sticks and straws
I've hummed the hymns of unknown songs
And so I float on.

I have loved and lost
I've seen scorched flames
being coated by frost
Yet I am still new to love.

I wish I could say 'I love you' just once more
But the time for truth and phrases has passed,
I've been feeling broken , bruised, blue and sore
Hoping that I'll get the chance once again.

Carry the sunrise on my shoulders
And the weight of it will vanish
But it's been so many hours, it's still not over
And I've left my mind to rot.

Once, my eyes
The remnant of clear skies
I buried my soul behind my lines
And anger behind each rhyme.
I hid my tears behind storms
where rain cleansed blood of war
and separated the gold from the ore.

Now, my eyes
The colour of clear skies
Brought about by a beautiful sunrise
and a warmth exuded from the sun's shine.
I thank you for destroying the storms
and keeping me completely warm.

__
thank you

Last night I wished upon a shooting star,
And in a hazy dream, I saw everything alive,
As I sew the seams for every wish to survive.

"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed",
And if 'tis a fate upon myself, I shall hope to avoid
like the eye of a hurricane in an eye of a needle.

Last night I wished upon the light of a bright star
and I stumbled onto one with brightest hue
who gave me a sense of happiness I never knew.

"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed",
And if 'tis you that proposes my mind to be void,
In no longer than a heartbeat shall I bear you my mind.

__
Last night I heard Einstein recite a poem, saw Edgar Allen Poe paint and danced with Vincent Vangogh in the moonlight, yet none of it was as interesting as the opportunity to meet you.

Like the whistling
sound of a steam train,
that was muffled
by the crowd of people.

Like an explosive sound
contained in a vacuum
waiting for the pressure to
create something that matters.

Like the sound of a bass guitar
playing a bass line,
drowned out by the sounds
and songs of people screaming.

Like a single drop of water
crashing against rocks,
following the flow of the
cascading waterfall.

Like the sound of a scream
in a vacuum,
like the sound of the words
"doesn't matter".

I hear the stars, they silently speak to me
Their whispers carried leaves from a tree
Towards me. 'I gaze at beautiful stars'
I announced to the people in my car,
But they could not understand my speech
As they've not seen stars further than arms reach.
I wondered on the names of the mysterious star
'Was this star shining its beams towards me from afar?'
I asked myself 'worry not about the stars glow
For the warmth provided is all I've felt and know'.
I don't know whether to compliment the stars, from here
Or to thank the star for its nova glow that brought about cheers.
I know not whether I deserve the glow and warmth
But I know that I will try my best to gaze at the stars of bright hue,
To learn of the stars, in the way that the astronomers do.
__
Waiting for a star to appear within my sights, the bright lights of beauty and warmth
that exudes from this star has illuminated my mood.

May this writing reach you, who deserves her more
I trust that you will cherish her with every breath
And love her with a love that doesn't end at death.
I wish nothing but happiness between the two of you
I hope your love forever remains stronger than mine
Keeping both hearts in tandem from the baseline.
I hope you take care of her and make her happy
Beyond any happiness that any human could find.
I hope you cherish and love her every hour
And feed her a love that blooms like a flower.


-From he, who needed to forget.

'Just delete me'
Your number still taunting me
your voice still haunting me.
If it was only that easy
To forget a past, forget a life
Forget a name, forget a light,
It wasn't easy at all.
I've been tempted to scroll down
Find your name and hit call
But I've been scared of what to say
And curtain draws on another day
Yet I still haven't said a word to you.

Your number and name screams
'Just delete me'
But I always choose to live in heartbreak
Regret my mistakes
And keep your number and name
in my phone.

'Just delete me'
Your number and name screams
But I'm too scared of forgetting you...

People said 'days end, when nights come'
and the same happens for the morning sun,
But lately I've got them all confused,
I don't know if I'm staring at stars
Or watching the headlights of cars;
I don't know if I'm glancing at the moon
Or whether I'm walking through a zoo.
I've been sitting on fences picketing the news;
And I'm still blind despite all the clues.

In the final moment
Although her eyes weren't open
Her smile was never broken
Just somehow, somewhat missing
And in my fading vision;
I saw her smile return;
Completely embraced by life.

I've witnessed myself drunk before;
When for was used before the word ever,
Where forever could never be severed
And the bottles weren't mixed with tears.
I remember drinking myself silly;
people said 'alcohol removes your fears'
and the same happens for my peers...
But I did not grow the least bit braver
In a hailstorm of battles that could
only ever be won by giving up.

I saw the universe in your eyes,
And I watched the universe burn
Along with everything in it.
People said 'days end, when nights come'
and the same happens for the morning sun...
But for me;
days don't end, nights don't end
The curtain draw was not closer
And though I can be sober,
I was drunk on the starlight;
more than I was sober by the sunlight;
the days don't end, nights don't end
when I have to live without my best friend.

The door knock came in
But I was busy running away
I'd learnt that away
Was how I would stay safe.
Little did I know
That it was out of my control,
the door knock came in
And I really hated being alone
So I left the door open.
I thought I would stay safe
Little did I know
that safe was synonymous with fate.
I found safety in your eyes,
That little devilish smile
And the way you'd make me laugh
Even though I've been too sad
To know how to smile
Yet you managed to show me again.

But that was not what happened.
The door knock came,
And I was not home to receive it;
Now I sit in grievance
Over how I let that heartbeat
That beats in tempo with mine
Vanish...

I don't know where you are
And I can't help but wonder.
I've done wrong by you
More than I've done right by you.
I guess I had a narrowed view,
I'm sorry. But words mean so little,
Are you having fun at least?
It's strange to ask these questions
And I can't help but hoping
That you're in every way okay.
I guess 'I miss you'
is a tad bit late
I've been at fault
Made a lot of mistakes
Especially towards you,

Come a few years,
Hopefully this will all
be a distant memory
The long distance
Was indeed vicious.
I hope you're happy
No matter what.
Stay strong
As I know you have been.
This will probably not be read
or seen
But I'm sorry for everything.

May the stars
Bless you with a chance
To find everything you want.
Someone who did wrong by you:
KL.

Maybe she and I,
We're not so alike,
When I saw the ground,
She saw the sky.
When I was happy
She wanted to cry.
Maybe we weren't meant to find each other
Or we weren't meant to be lovers.
The world is full of maybes,
But there's one thing that I can't deny,
even though we weren't alike,
I just wish she was by my side.
Maybe insanity, is trying to forget
someone you wish to never forget.

constant up and downs
like we're looking to find
but never actually found
that peaceful inner place
but maybe that inner space
isn't exactly a space
we were ever meant to find.
Maybe we were meant to find
it in someone else
a simple beg for help
a simple cry or yelp,
it's magical.
But maybe magic wasn't
ever meant to be found
in ourselves but in others.
We've found food from our mothers,
caught fights with our brothers
taught love to others
and even frowned upon fathers.
Maybe magic isn't something inside us,
maybe magic is inside people that we love,
the strength to lift a heavy car
or leap tall buildings in a single jump
maybe the only way to rise is up
and maybe we can only do it by love,
but life is full of maybes
and in December, bees seem to disappear,
maybe to never reappear
but the sting will always be there.
One thing we can be certain
is that we can always find magic
in someone else
and at most times,
a little inkling of magic
is left in ourselves.

Let's realise that happiness isn't magic,
it just feels magical
and maybe we can spread this magic,
because maybe's exist in our world.
We may not be all wizards or witches
but lets try to cast a little happiness
to the ones we love.

"Forget me already. It's not mmm... good for you to still remember me. Uhh; I want you gone from my life, please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face.

Sarah wasn't your average university student, ash blonde with streaks of red in her hair, slim tanned legs just enough to make a young teen salivate. She was neither tall nor short, and if Goldilocks had met Sarah before Goldilocks would have exclaimed 'just right' about Sarah's height. You couldn't tell whether she was rich nor poor because Sarah had always worn amiable denim jeans though they were always ripped. It could have just been her fashion statement, a sardonic "looky over here people. I'm charming pfft, no one knows how charming I am and I don't even have to show skin to do so". Sarah though seemingly perfect on the surface, had always had self esteem issues; she'd mumble sentences and say "don't worry" when she struggled to convey herself.

"... Please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face.
    To Jim, this was the usual request he'd heard over and over. At this point, about a million and twenty three times; it no longer phased him. Jim gulped in a mouthful of air before going onto his retaliation; except his retaliation did not involve calling her 'a *****' nor did it involve calling her 'a **** covered ***** that no one will ever love'. No... Jim was civil tongued in a rather strange demeanour.

"Sarah darling. The moment I forget you, the skies will fall, the clouds will shake, rain will flood the Earth because the very second I forget you, my world and I will have been destroyed", Jim said with a sheepish grin. Jim was a cunning man, almost too smart for his own good at times. He'd always reminisce on that one date he had with Sarah. He had taken her to a nearby farm, and nearby to a suburban kid was a two and half hour drive. The farm was not the most romantic place but to Jim, cow manure and sheep manure whispered "this is the most organic and romantic place you can ever find". The minute they had arrived in the general location of the farm, Sarah had already been, hungry, tired, sleepy, angry and most of all she had to put up with Jim not revealing anything to her....So fear was one of the cause of her anxiety with Jim, though she could trust Jim with her life so it somewhat lessened, the very moment that fear piqued.

The ground, wet soil, faint smells of manure, 'Nature'. Jim flaunted the minute he had arrived "HOLY SHEEP! Look around Sarah, aren't they wonderful?"
          Sarah mumbled, as she most likely always does "they....mmmm....they are nice....umm I guess".

Jim projected his voice, shocking Sarah again, but at this point a feather falling to the ground would have spooked poor little Sarah. "SARAH! Look over here. Do you see the cow. Why don't we call her Cherry?"

"Why Cherry?" Sarah asked with a puzzled look on her face.

Jim took a big breath of the farmland air "Because ...cherries are edible."

Sarah slightly disgusted but with a smile on her face nonetheless.

Suddenly, Jim grew quiet; and for a blabbermouth, 'would forget to breathe because he's talking' Jim, this is a pointer that there may be something that wasn't exactly right.

Jim spoke, breaking the silence created by the void of words that was Jim and Sarah, 'Babe. I've been thinking... and before you jump to conclusions, no we are not breaking up, not on a farmland, that's how you'll **** me and feed my bodies to the pig or something....and nothing eats Jim Thorens except dinosaurs. I wanted to say, I've been thinking about how lucky I am. No I didn't win the lottery, nor did I come to an inheritance of a million dollars; one because I don't gamble and two because ...my shitheap of a family won't even leave a cent to me probably. But I am a lucky man, because I have you and having you is like winning the lottery. It is like inheriting a million dollars. It is like having the palms of the world, in a single minute I get to hold your hand."

Sarah spoke, tears invading the corner of her eyes, "Maybe this world is too good for us. I don't know but lately, it feels as though walls are collapsing and I can't keep feigning it anymore. I chose to come along with you in hopes you'd end things with me", Sarah had hardly ever spoken for so long without a few umms or ahhs in the way, but this time something came over her.

"...But I love you babe. Don't you love me?" Jim building a bridge to clear the doubt in between their relationships. Sadly, the bridge he built in the form of a question did not support the weight that they both held. One loving too much, and another loving too little.

A few days had passed. Well what was a few days for those who aren't heartbroken, felt like decades for those with a hellish hole forming in their hearts. A few days, merely a few days, with the overclouding, overbearing sensation of a lifetime.

Jim Thorens had called Sarah Silva to arrange a meeting, with the tone of 'complete strangers, who tried to hid that they were past lovers'. "Hey Sarah, It's Jim here. I've been wondering if...ummm if you'd ahh want to get a coffee. So we can have a little umm chat?" Jim spoke as he left a voicemail.

Jim Thorens saw Sarah Silva making her way to the empty chair in front of him, a smile lit on his face as it had always done in the before-times. Except now, it wasn't the same as the before times.

"Forget me already." Sarah mouthed in silence and though Jim could not read lips, he understood. He understood every bit of that silent air.

"Forget me already. It's not good for you to still remember me. I want you gone from my life, please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face and a subtle roll of her eyes. This time, Jim's pain was audible.

"What if we..." Jim started to speak before being completely cut off by Sarah.

"Don't worry". Sarah said, as she stood up and left.

It was friendly love,
The way they pushed him off a flight of stairs,
Crippled him emotionally to extent, no one cares,
Deflated his ego whenever it was apparent,
Crushed his soul by mentioning the loss of his parent,
Tore his world apart by the cruel nature of words,
Their own ferocity and cruelty they never heard,
For it was not their reality crumbling brick by brick,
Imparting a daunting nightmare for a mind becoming sick.
        Its was friendly love....
                                            At least that was what they called it...

Every now and then I struggle to find the words to put into a sentence.
It's simple to write a sight, it becomes difficult to write an emotion.
I want to write a tribute to her attributes but I don't know the words.
When I think about her I feel like I'm a character in The Maze Runner
Because every line skates around the word "a-maze-ing".
I want to write more than about her, I want to write about how I feel,
How she makes me feel when I think of this wonderful girl.
She makes me feel as though the sunrise is a surprise because
she is a star that I could never stop gazing upon.
I want to write about how she is like a beautiful butterfly
flying around the eye of a storm, holding beauty within her eyes.
I want to tell the world that she actually means equally as much as me,
That she means the world to me.
But I guess because of who she is, because of the things she is to me,
And because no words could ever come close to express my love for this girl,
So the only way I can describe her in truncated form is;
And it becomes increasingly difficult to finally end this
because every now and then I struggle to find the words to express my heart in a sentence.

Maybe he's still alive, that sullen guy
who crept out of the abyss like a moth
and before we even knew the depth,
he saw light and chased every ray.

The beautiful girl unbeknownst by touch,
slided,skated and glided on words
and the two of them flew on lexical wings,
afraid of falling from the heat that was love.

Guy and girl, found one another's arms,
Fought against an avalanche of cold snow,
they held each other against the mountains.

Love soon discovered it was labelled love,
And as my heart awoke to thoughts of you,
suddenly your heart became a guiding light.

When he finally reached her eyes,
He crept and crawled into the night
until the darkness reached out to him,
And as a part of him faded before her,
She never realised, how broken
and how much falling he had done...

And he was too scared to fall once again,
In fear that the monsters caught up to him;
But he made his mind, and let the monsters
consume his soul.

To love or not to love; That is the question:
Whether to hold hearts hidden in shade
Or to let loose the leashes and allow escape;
Was't in her beautiful smile,
Or was't in how her mind was such alike to mine,
Nay!. It was the way she looked like the sun,
as it shone light on the moon,
Never to expose its flaws
But to embrace its beauty.
The way she makes me laugh non-stop
Simple by just one message
Or the way she show her care for me
Despite never meeting me yet.
I can not wait to be able to confess my love
To her as we are immersed nothing
but each other's embrace.

To love or not to love; that is the question:
And to love , is always the solution.

She wakes, afraid of being alone.
She sleeps, entering a battlezone.

She walks, dragging along her feet
As though each step is just repeat.

She smiles, aching her own cheeks
To force a fake sign that things aren't bleak.

She lays in bed, afraid to fall asleep
Hoping each conscious breath will keep.

She falls asleep, shuddering from nights before,
Ears ringing of her friend calling her a *****.

She sleeps, entering a battlezone.
She wakes, afraid of being alone.

Half of my brain is tired of always being second best.
My other half resents the rest.
There's not enough room for the two and
I think I've gotten crazier from spending so much time with you

Time is limited my dear, we've all been given a set amount of time.
One half of my brain tells me to spend it all with you, but thats a crime
Because that same half screams "Put her into a pit, she won't leave then"
and "IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN".

I've got glitter in my eyes maybe a little blood to
And my heart races whenever I look at you.
I'm not sure if its because I'm having those "visions" again.
They always keep me on the fence.
I just go nuts when you're around.
But if you turn your back you'll be six fit in the ground...
Don't be scared. But if you hurt me I hurt you.
I feel like a clown always tripping over my shoes when you stare.
It's really hard to act like I don't care

I'll wipe the glitter out of your eyes my dear,
And if someone speaks ill I'll cut off their ear.
I'll mix my blood with yours if I have to
Just so we can coat the world in red and not blue.
I've seen what our minds put together looks like
And trust me it looks much better than on a pike.
Anyone dare rise their head above you
And their head will roll on the ground in poo.
But be warned my dear, if you dare leave
Your family will surely undoubtedly grieve,
Because you want to know how I got these scars...
Lets just say the girl who gave me them is sleeping in tar.

Ha ha! Glad you're not talking to other girls.
If you were I'd have to stab you.
But I love you so much that'd I stitch you right back up.
Of course with strands of my hair.
Then I'd always be touching you.
Together me an you can accomplish great things as a team
And when you go to sleep I stare cause your my dream.
Lack of sleep feels funny.
Funny feels good.
Half of my brain is turning to mush...*

I will blow your brains and mine out,
Don't you let half your brain share a doubt,
Because I would want to die together
After all it will only be better.
I'm doing what is only due to me,
We belong in an eternal unity,
No let me phrase that, you are my stuff
And if I wasn't too nice, I'd chain you up
You belong to me, end of story.

You're my pillars when I'm crumbling,
I regret to say I've never wanted you...
You're my clutch when I'm stumbling-
Over my regret of not letting our lips lock.

I hid behind a shadow like a lunar eclipse,
To afraid to say what lingers in my heart,
How I wanted nothing more than to steal a kiss,
But I hope we don't start to grow apart...

When I fess up to these feelings, to tell you
That I may have made a mess before,
But I hope this is where I start again, I like you-
And I hope I could redeem myself, as yours.

I'm only a figment of the man you never knew,
I've grown braver with you on my mind,
*I can say it with lips untouched that I like you
And I hope that you like me too.

It was said
I was a kid,
Where life seemed
Like a purposeless lid
Covering pots and pans
That weren't ever to be seen.

I remember throwing
A temper tantrum;
I ran my head against
A brick and broken beam
Till my head bruised
Black and blue.
It was no suicide attempt;
It was said
I was a kid,
Where life seemed
Like a purposeless lid
Covering pots and pans
That weren't ever to be seen,
It was a cry for attention.

On one day,
After not having my way,
I fell into my daily routine,
To run my hard & hot head
Into a brick and broken beam,
Except this one day;
No black and blue bump was left
But a scrape of my giant forehead,
And as I bled, I remember blood
dripping into my eyes, crimson tears,
filled my soul and my aching day,
So completed in emotions of dismay;
I told myself 'I'll stop hurting myself,
over small and dumb stuff",
...

But came next day,
I fell into my daily routine,
To run my hard & hot head
Into a brick and broken beam.
It was said
I was a kid,
Where life seemed
Like a purposeless lid
Covering pots and pans
That weren't ever to be seen,
Looking for attention from
a mum who never saw me hurt myself
and a dad buried in the ground;
unable to even hear my cries.

It was said
I was a kid,
Where life seemed
Like a purposeless lid
Covering pots and pans
That weren't ever to be seen,
so instead i covered my life
with bruises and bumps.

I made myself the ink
that you chose to write your love;
I made myself the pen
that you labelled was never enough.

I became the paper
that you wrote a love letter for someone else
And I couldn't hear my voice
As I let the feelings cage in, begging for help.

I became the pages
that you wrote a different story on
And I've been hurt by you
but I have no idea where the sorries are gone.

You never wrote about us
you wrote about him, about her, about Earth
But nowhere am I in words
and I ventured on to find my own worth.

I went a little too far...
and became mere playthings in your life...
I went a little too far...
and now I'm lost without a guiding light...
I went a little too far...
and I don't know how to feel alright.
I went a little too far...
a little too far, reaching out for you.
I went a little too far...
a little too far, drowned in an ocean of blue.

I do not love you as if you were oceans, or aquamarine,
Or the ice cubes that lay to melt as time passes.
I love you as precious petals are to be adorned,
by the stem, in between the Earth and the skies.

I love you as the stars visible in the day
but kept to say all the silent beauty of the night;
thanks to your love for the lit path guidance,
illuminated by a livid canvas, yet alive in my heart.

I love you simply because it is impossible not to,
I love you with every part of my cells and molecules,
so I love you because I can't not love you.

then know; if I live on with every breath, so do you
In my thoughts, my memories and heart,
In my thoughts, you spun the strings of my heart

Last year a girl broke my heart, I wore a mask and a facade.
In retrospect my ribcage wasn't my heart's safest guard.
I fell, crashed, plummeted into the pavement hard.
We went from locking eyes like lovers, then everything changes,
and we started locking eyes like complete strangers.
Now if I could express this in front of my guy friends
and rather sit in a pool of emotional fiction and pretence
It would have saved for a lot of hidden and unspoken anguish;
So please I beg you to understand, and excuse my language:
but **** SOCIETY!

The critics casting judgement, I haven't even been dressed yet,
Judging books by the cover at go and ignoring the get set,
You've never taken the time to get ready to know people
but you rush to the finish line and deemed those left behind, 'evil'.
You saw shades of colour in the same way you did a tree,
your heart learnt to love only what your eyes can see,
you saw the skin colours and focused on the image,
glanced at the cover, read the blurb and chose to never finish.
You critics casted judgement on a man and his husband,
Disgusted in the same way of hearing about two cousins,
I don't really dress for you, so don't worry about what I'm wearing;
So please I beg you to understand and excuse my swearing
but **** SOCIETY!

I've been on online bulletin boards, anonymous boards,
To alleviate the general sensation of just feeling bored,
But I took a wrong turn, landed in a place where hatred roamed,
And I know that I did not take this wrong turn alone.
I have seen your type, cheer on **** as though it was a competition
sprawling all over 'how she deserved it' , each sentence was wicked.
I have seen your type; type away paragraphs calling a minor: a ****,
and I do not know if you suffer from the pain we feel but words cut,
they cause an internal bleeding that drowns out the flame and life
inside of us, and when we chose to relax and go online to peruse at night,
you are there; with your taunting terror, laughing at the disabled,
laughing from a monitor screen, bits of bytes and data from a cable;
and every second of our lives, we would have to be stuck with you.
You speak of knowing our hurt, mocking our pain as if it was true,
And I pity those who found tall buildings, and harming themselves
before they could ever reach out to find any sort of help.
I'm sorry, I had a major fall earlier, and I may have a concussion
So please  I beg you to understand and excuse my cussing:
but **** SOCIETY!

Truthfully speaking, ******* society!
What the **** have you done for me?

The raindrops weren't all the same,
And somedays I wished they were.

The raindrops came in all sizes,
And somedays I wished it didn't rain.

The raindrops came,
And somedays that's all I wanted.

Coated the idea in plastic
Kim Kardashian heisted the magic
Kept it in public's eye, distorted;
tarnished its value as though it's important,
but in the wrong ways.

We've paint a portrait of fiction;
Created chaos and complete addiction,
it's reverting back to a rendition
where we forget what it really means;
so we speak of it as though we knew it,
and shun eyes on those who go through it
even though most take part into it.

A slight touch, to make it look natural;
we've lost the organic and pastoral,
we've seen complete cover ups
moulded masks with make up,
we've filled the world with falsities,
And if the world is burning or crashing,
you can always keep up with the kardashian.

We've muddled beauty with plastic,
Celebrities heisted the magic,
we've placed shallow beauty in media;
saturated the world in sepia,
fake ****, make-up, same cups;
we've distorted the idea of beauty,
And left half the world feeling ugly....
Feeling like they aren't worth anything...
Feeling like the world was not built for them.

Give up the lass
And I'll give up my mind.
I will give up in
a manner that is unkind.
I've heard your taunting calls;
I've seen your righteous ways
I've seen the way Autumn falls
And I have seen them all.
So give up the lass
And I'll give up myself,
I bid your final mercy and help
To let me give up myself.
I do this not out of love, but hatred;
I've been bruised, burnt and broke
But I've seen your presence long before,
And maybe, I need not see anymore.

Give up your relentless chase;
And I promise I'll give up mine.
Immortality is the farthest illusion
that rests in the depths of my mind.

I'm sorry. Mr. Gazer, your life is being played with,
You've gathered the sweetest memories you've ever tasted;
Now you think you're going to hold onto them forever?
Clearly you don't have a ******* brain because you're mistaken,
Everything you forsook and have ******* forsaken,
I'm telling you, I'm taking it all back.
Look around Mr. Gazer, you're ******* hated;
you're a disappointment to your family, but I won't mention friends,
**** if I did mention friends, I don't think this will ever end.
Mr. Gazer. Mr. Gazer, why don't you sing well at all?
Is it cause you drink yourself silly even way before the bar's last call;
is it because you have one ******* and no ******* *****?
Mr. Gazer. Mr. Gazer, how would you like to challenge the world,
watch how you can make all the people's arm hair curls;
as they cheering you on, from start to end?
Oh Mr. Gazer, you're too ******* gullible.
This isn't a message out of hatred you ******* *******,
this is a word of wisdom from your new best friend : LIFE.
I don't know when this sentence ends
but welcome to Life my new best friend.

Mr. Life, I've tried and tried,
I've been to the optometrist,
they said nothing was wrong with my lenses
but when it pours rain, nothing feels cleansed;
everything become blurry.
Mr. Life, You don't need to end your sentence,
I've done that many times for you;
I've done that almost every day...
After all, what are friends for?
...
So here's how it should end,
Goodbye my new best-friend.

Whether you're seeing things different
Or you're just being different
Don't ever forget to let the light glisten
And light the candles of hopes and dreams.
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Go.
Set the scene.
The future is unforgiving
And the story has yet to be written
So challenge the norms
Stand up against the storms
And set the scene.
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Go

Caught in the clouds,
I'd stare into the grey sky
Just waiting for rain to cascade
From each puff of clouds
To wash away my imperfections.

Eyes on the prize, eyes on myself
As I stare around I've been locked;
Closeted by my own broken closet,
And always saw a scream for help.

Sands across my feet, the warmth
Still indented in my memory; the air
searing against my skin, and the sun
over my ******* body like a storm.

It was the first time, I'd been *******
not by my lonesome, but in public;
And though I still hated my stomach,
It was the first time I'd felt air on my skin,
I'd felt the freedom that the beaches' promise.

All the starving myself in front of a mirror,
could not compare to the joy of running-
through arid sands, stepping into the tepid-
waters all the while not caring that my image;
that my body; that my skin; was inferior.

The lucent beams of the moon could
clash with the burning sun and shine a spotlight
on who I was in that moment, and it would have
garnered no self hatred nor self disgust at
what I saw in the mirror-like waters,
I was not beautiful, I was not handsome but no...
I was human. I needn't need to be anyone,
but myself and my ******* self agreed to that
even more.

While trying to find freedom on a beach,
I found freedom in myself,
And if I had once screamed for help;
That scream is now mute,silent,
For I have found my closet.
Freedom was my closet,
And I drowned in it.

No son should hear their mother's cry
muffled by the whispers of 'I'm fine'.
The tears still fresh from the eye,
like a salt stained ravine.
I've seen the greatest fall,
the strongest weakened,
and I witnessed
my mum fall on a weekend;
not a spiral towards the floor,
not in physicality but
in an emotional rollercoaster
that has herself coasted
off to where the words can't reach;
where her heart does bleed,
and where her mouth doesn't speak.

"Mum are you ok?" I mutter,
knowing well enough of the answer,
But i pretend to be some majestic dancer
prancing around the topic.
There's a caution sign,
it reads "wet floor"
only floor is spelt different,
it's spelt with an H
an E and a continuation of art.
I tiptoe around the sign
as though they were land mines,
afraid that one false step
could pour my own death.
...
No son should hear their mother's cry
muffled by the whispers of 'I'm fine'.