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Star Gazer Sep 2016
What if my connection with God
Is nothing but just a facade?
Do I forget my prayers for help
Or do I learn to find answers myself?
I've made many different mistakes
And I hold myself for the blame.

God; maybe I can't be helped
But let's hide it between books
Volumes of volumes on a shelf
Just so I don't have to remember.

I let the greatest things go
Trying to chase the wrong things
I wonder if I can learn to forgive myself
When the inevitable bell rings.
Star Gazer Sep 2016
The world gave me this image
I've tried my best to live in it
Live in shadows of the popular
As though only good I can see
From myself are through binoculars.

The world gave me this image
I've tried my best to live in it
And I'm scared to ever be different.
Star Gazer Sep 2016
In a crowd of faces, some old, some new
But I shouldn't feel as lonely as I do.
Star Gazer Sep 2016
The mirror beckons, a beast emerges,
I've fought against fists and thoughts
but at times we give ourselves to urges
and hope remains successful victors.

Oasis clouds caught between drifts
as tide rips waves against waves
caught between the aquatic tidal rifts
avoiding any chance at mistakes.

I look at the mirror with frozen frowns,
I have been here before, just the same;
held onto hope, nailing it down
because I have been called monster
more than I would like to admit.

'Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too.
They live inside us, and sometimes they win.'
Star Gazer Sep 2016
Her name was Lucy,
Folded paper planes
always chased pouring rains
just because she believed
that there's a rainbow awaiting.
She threw herself
into torrential turmoil,
ate apples that turned spoilt
because an apple a day
kept the doctors away.

She is now nineteen
and no matter how
many years it has been
she'd visit the same sights
visit the same scenes
waited for the storm
to clear up.

Her name was Lucy,
Folded paper planes,
threw them into the air
hoping that they'd reach space,
but she's come to realise
it's all a mistake.
Sometimes she waited for the storm
to end,
shelter and defend against the rain,
but sometimes,
she would question the rainbow;
and this brought upon more questions,
on whether angels were built
with halos
or whether angels merely bought them.

She told me once
'This isn't really living is it?
Chasing the pouring rain
hoping to find something
that will keep me sane.
Throwing paper planes
that fall to the ground
when the air is gone
and the two merely
washed away.'

Her name was Lucy,
Folded paper planes,
and she couldn't
ever understand
where her life was
supposed to begin.

So a reminder from me:
Fold your paper planes
let them soar
and keep them afloat,
because one day
they will guide you to
a rainbow.
Star Gazer Sep 2016
I begged and pleaded
Bled the beats of my heart
Hoping that the butterfly
Would flutter on its way
But it didn't.

The winds were brutal
as wings flapped as usual;
I had hoped the butterfly
hadn't dropped.

My best friend said
'Don't worry it's just sick';
Coated herself in her
child-like bliss,
I replied to her with
'Ok. It's just sick'.

The teens were brutal
And she held the storms
With a broken umbrella
As usual.
She would tell me
'Sometimes humans are
alike butterflies;
We'd show our beauty
but silence our cries'.

After a while her words
just stopped,
The first day I walked
pass her house,
Knocked on the wooden
frame;
Hoping that I would see her
again,
but silence responded to my
door knock.
The door remained locked.

I was the only one allowed
to knock;
while others used the doorbell
I was the one she would always tell,
'Just knock the door-
it will be our thing'.
Soon after 'our thing'
became nothing.

The second day;
I walked pass her house
Knocked on the door
just hoping that
there'll be an answer,
that she'd dance
her way to the door
and responded.

Her parents went missing
for a while,
Held onto broken smiles
While painting permanent frowns
on smiling clowns.
I have seen things broken,
But their smile sat like
barbed wires along a patch
of empty land.
Their smiles were
the kind, not to keep sheep in
but to keep everything else out.

I came by the third day
Hoping to end my dismay,
I knocked on the door;
she did not answer the door,
And I fell to the porch
cried tears over how
I wished it all went back to before.

I did that for the remaining week;
Hoping that she'd open the door
But she wasn't six feet away from the door;
She'd remain to this day
Not one millimetre from my heart
and memory.

Sometimes humans are
alike butterflies;
We'd show our beauty
but silence our cries...
Star Gazer Sep 2016
I have set my heart to rest in the palms
Of so many others, each a spiralling hate
grown from the echoes of differences
but I guess I've come to regret my mistakes.
I have loved as much as I have lost
Watched the tides take love from me like a kite
caught between the drifts of stormy winds
Just hoping that one day things will be alright.
Maybe I trusted myself with too many others,
screamed 'here take a piece of my heart...
do what you want with it because I trust you
Not to ever break it into pieces and parts'.
I never did learn, what it was like to not trust
And I guess doing so, I drew the short end
of a twisted stick, just some sick game to those
Who saw it fun to break hearts over and over.
I look around, I see people filled with life
Filled with joy, I look at a mirror and I see
a desperate cry for help that goes unheard
because of all the things unsaid like simply
'I love you and I hope you do too'.
I guess me...and others...we weren't meant to be
We weren't meant to ever be lovers.
So I write this dedicated to those who I've loved...
And those who I have lost.

'A part of me will always remember what we had
And you might not think you had an impact
But I guess you gave me a piece of myself I never
knew that I ever had.

You have a piece of my heart-
And you can keep it;
I won't need it where I'm going...'


From: Someone you once knew, and someone who needs to forget.
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