Slipping further down
the rabbit hole


"Everything's been good, thanks for asking"

Yet when all is done
when the last breath is sitting on my tongue

I hope to remember the riptide
the summer
and how I chose to save myself

I'm afraid
of how it will be when you come back

I've glorified a relationship
which at one point I deserted

Yet I have idolized our time

and when You return
what if it's still the same

or even worse what if our roles have reversed

I hope that your deep eyes and crooked smile
have not been interrupted by our intermission

and I hope you wont let me down
again
like last December

I will never forget
being 5 years old

telling my mother that I just felt sad
for no reason

I'd like to think
that I am special

That I am the only one
who will make it

That I am not a statistic

Yet here I sit
procrastinating the idea of procrastination

To tired to be
anything more then a shell

At this point
My feelings are bare

I have shown all my cards

I have given you my all


and if this doesn't work out

I will be left a tin man
with no heart

Now I sit here
under the sun

having given you my lungs

unable to scream out for help
as the waves pull me in