all of the broken dreams
the never said goodbyes
the never was friend

and you are left alone
a whole
broken person
just a piece of matter

and you are set adrift
once again trying to find the rest of you

E.R.

I'm and addict
A condition which can not be cured

Pain
Sadness
Self Hatred
are my drugs

But,
I have no reason to be sad
no reason to feel pain

I am not dying from hunger
I am not abused

There is no abuser
Because I take on that role

I thrive in pain

E.R.

I asked my Momma
How do big girls kiss?
She said she didn't know

I asked my Momma
Why do big girls wear thongs?
She said she didn't know

I told my Momma
I'm going to be the first women astronaut president
She said of course you will baby

I asked my Momma
Why do big girls fight with their Mommas?
She said because they don't know better

Do I know better I asked my Momma
Of course you do baby she said

Now I know how big girls kiss
Now I know why we wear thongs
Now I know I won't be the first women president astronaut

Now I don't ask my mother questions

I am the big girl
I am that girl who fights with her momma

Honestly
It's sad
That when we talk
It's about school
And when we fight
you blame me

Please mom
look at yourself

Before physco analyzing me

Help
I might be broken

Help
I might be lost

Help
I might be a dreamer

Help
I might hate myself

I'm here to help
says no one.

"be quiet
be polite
behave in public!
don't yell

get good grades

how come you never go out?
you go out way too much, focus on school"


never was a good soldier
never did  belong in a bungalo

Its there
it'll always be there
it's always been there

Nothing
of this magnitude
just
develops

the deep hate
the abhorrence for my breath

the saddest thing
seeing my chest rise and fall

the immense
cloud
black
smoke
fills my mind

it doesn't just develop
its always been
here.

          ER.