Nelson :- Kiss me *******

Hardy :- Kiss me Hardy

Nelson :- No kiss me *******

Hardy :- Kismet Hardy

Nelson :- **** you man Kiss My *******

Hardy loading musket and checking no ones looking fires and pens in ships diary

Today Nelson died of his wounds without saying a word.

They chase them down
through field and town
intending then to eat em'
with plastic forks
and champagne corks
they wallop and they beat em'

They chase by day
and most the night
though I can't understand em'
through thistle grass
and snowy pass
with knives they roughly brand em'

With Caber tossed
and y-fronts lost
these skirted men assault em'
big burly men
with beards yer ken
you really cannot fault em'

With claymore sharp
and Scottish harp
they catch and set to roast em'
with whiskey ryes
And blood shot eyes
these hunters fair do toast em'

Behind every good man is a woman with a Hoover

What's behind the hedge?
a field
what's beyond the field?
a lane
what lies down the lane?
a friend
What's the friends name?
Don't know


I haven't met them yet.

Love without kisses is like poetry without words


                     completely pointless.

From filth and death of fallen autumn made complacent in her garb of winter White
comes new life with fresh new scent to please and to delight
and by this rebirth of spring make merry jests at winters swift demise
for from these fair messengers we feel as yet sweet summers on the rise
So cry harvest and let juice of yon apple run
as we brave again the hardship of labours beneath an uncaring yet welcome sun.

Banged and bruised
                          Open wounds
                                            broken bones


I hate skateboarding.

The tennis player could not be heard above the racket.

The snooker player was so tired of all the cues.

The shot putter threw away all his chances to win.

I'd rather be a turtle than a tuna .... Guess why?

(time to put you all out of your misery)

Because subway have as yet to invent a turtle sandwich.

Its dickie dark the days at end
the sun has run away
it's dickie dark just look my friend
the moon has come to play

The flowers tucked up in their beds
the birdies fast asleep
and over roofs of garden sheds
the ***** cats now creep

It's dickie dark it's time to change
and get into my bed
my teddy bears ill rearrange
around my feet and head

Ill sleep till dirkie dark has gone
and Dawn lights up my face
So daddy turn my night light on
it's in it's usual place

It's dickie dark the day is done
I'm tucked up warm and tight
it's dickie dark and that's no fun
so one and all goodnight

I lean in to kiss your neck
pausing momentarily
to inhale both fragrant hair
and trace of scent
warmed soft upon your skin
lips graze gently
tasting
savouring upon lips your flesh
brushing aside your hair
as you tilt your head
allowing a rivulet of kisses
to replace cascading curls
my hand cups lightly your chin
spinning you slowly around
allowing time for eyes
to drink in your flushed features
without words in silence of moving lips
we kiss
tongues playfully engage in touch
as I pull you close
fingers splayed teasing tangled locks
unseen by eyes shut tight
breathing you in
in second hand breaths
again I pause to gaze into your eyes
and smile
my hands upon your lower back
yours upon my shoulders
as again I wear your kiss upon my mouth
in breathy promises
we speak only of tomorrow and of it only.

I look like a badly stuffed cushion gone thread bare

as I pile on the weight and lose my hair

but as long as you love me I don't care

Greek gods arent as loved as an old teddy bear

Her:

Don't kiss me yet first let me brush my teeth

For this is not Hollywood with perfect hair and breath

Him:
I need a moment to *** and scratch myself aloud

Coughing yawning eyes blurred and red and noisily breaking wind

together:

Oh hell let's just kiss tight lipped and eyes closed

Carbonated kisses tickle my tongue
as steel edged lips
force me to tilt back my head
exposing my neck,
my adams apple bobbing
as i am soda-nised
gulping for air.

My hands slowly fondling your wetted curves

Come once more
fill my throat and make me gag

each fluid movement
enflames my aroused senses

slate my thirst
bring me to the edge of pleasure
my sweet

indulge me once more


with carbonated kisses.

Some say salt is bad for you...

                 so what


l e t s                              K I s s

She said I need two rings ...

... to truely be happy.

You hands beat it hard until it stood up stiff

You tore my heart out and left me in pieces

Hi my friend and poetic sister has joined us today would you all kindly welcome her and read one of her many romantic poems you will not be sorry you did her name is Daytonight

Thanks awfully

Embers.

Would that this watch but knew it's face mocks me

It's miserly hands always clawing away at our precious time

Those ****** fingers always tap tap tapping, hurrying us along

No heart was ever as cold nor beat so unfeeling

Tis not miles that separate as harshly as time itself

Sharing a bag of chips and scraps
and running from the rain
beneath the band stand kissing
and riding on the main
corn fields and meadows
and walks within the park
spending time like millionaires
together after dark
daisy chains and faery rings
the jewelry of the young
whom sing the songs of lovers
the older ones once sung
cornets full of ice-cream
and trumpets full of scent
accompanying our laughter
as our childhoods mis spent
I offered you the moon and stars
you promised me forever
as we cuddled close together
in the chill of winters weather
so many memories my love
bring you to me each day
and may the simple things in life
forever feel this way

Would you still love me if you really knew me?

would that I could show you in words my pain

overridden by my need of you two aches in one

Should I show myself to you unclothed of my facade

and let you see me the scared scarred little boy

fighting his daemons within the open arms of an angel.

The Ifs and buts and sighs and tuts
are all that fill my mind
the why's and when of now and then
have burned my poor eyes blind
the would and should and if I could
have broke me by design
the have and have not and I forgot
that you were never mine

My mother said beware the pips
and wipe your chin and sticky lips
now bin the skin and tidy up
put away your plate and cup

Or Else....


The watermelon tiger comes
with great white teeth and flashing eyes
he hungers for your sticky thumbs
and feasts upon your anguished cries

he gobbles down your fingers four
and licks his lips with growing glee
then in a flash he eats four more
and laps upon your misery

He licks your face to check for juice
and nibbles at your mucky chin
searching out seeds still hanging loose
giving him chance to tuck right in

Mummy mummy keep him away
I'll wash and scrub and brush and clean
pray let him far from me now stay
for I'm afraid he sounds so mean

So eat your food with gusto kids
and leave the kitchen like a swamp
but dont you dare shut tight your lids
as he will come to chomp Chomp CHOMP

How can I ever understand the mind of a woman

when it's so cluttered with shoes and **** scatter cushions

No wine ever intoxicated a man like a womans  beauty.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

wearing a helmet

Humour Dumpty had a great fall

onto an airbag


All the kings horses and all the kings men

under police escort

Found Humpty fine so went home again

She opened wide drawing me to look with hungry eyes

Stroking slowly her soft flesh with trembling and eager hands

Breathing slowly in her musty aromatic scent of ageless passion

My senses here now aroused by sight touch and smell  

How I long to devour her to know her words.

She took it into her mouth willingly
tasting of it's seed
the flesh
stroking softly
against painted parted lips,
how she desired it
taking it in
deeper
the skin stimulating her senses
as she moved it
slowly over her tongue
imagining the tip
covered with cream,
her eyes closed as she enjoyed
the pleasure



fresh strawberries gave her.

She said with bated breath please put out the candles

As the hot wax is starting to sting my buttocks

Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words can crush and pierce me...

for no blade er' cut as deep as rapier tongue
nor hammer strike beaten down a man
as when you screamed
goodbye


Or

Sticks and stones MAY break my bones
but a swift kick in the ***** WILL HURT YOU

They waved the White flag with crimson faces bare arsed.

America discovered today the national flag had too few stars

It had forgotten it's peoples favourite the state of arousal.

She spoke so sweetly without ever speaking a single syllable

and my heart heard her without ears and hence rejoiced.

Is it so difficult to understand why I love you

what is far more mysterious is why you love me.

Everything looks much simpler through the eyes of the blind.