Hey there fighter
Are you ok?
You’ve been knocked down
More times than I can say

Sometimes by others who don’t seem to care
Sometimes they care but their words are unfair
Sometimes the hate comes from your mind
Other times your blood is the one who’s unkind

It amazes us that you can’t see
How beautiful you really are
Your beauty isn’t just skin deep
It goes deeper than your soul, by far

Art flows from your fingertips
Imagination comes to life
Your mind shown in little clips
A pencil is you knife

As you move with gracefulness
There’s emotion in every move
Every jump and kick and twirl
Talent is there an proved

With music pouring in your ears
You seem to lose all your fears
We all know music numbs the pain
And it stops your pretty tears

You’ll never know just how loved
You are by every one of us
But we will try to let you know
You know, just because

One look at you and and they can’t tell
What this small-town girl is hiding
Secrets both good and bad
A wonderful girl just fighting

I’m jealous of the people
Who are comfortable with who they are
And love themselves
Because it took me
So **** long
To get where I am now
And I don’t even like myself

She held cities in her hands
Whole gardens grew in her in her heart
Her eyes held the entire ocean
The sky held no equivalent to her smile
Her hair cascaded like waterfalls
Stars and moons, planets and galaxies were tangled in her mind
She had the world
Inside her
But no one knew
Because no one noticed
The quiet girl
Who read and wrote
While listening to music
In the corner
All alone

After a particularly hard day
I found relief in a particularly sharp blade
As I lay in bed
With sobs racking through my body
I sought comfort in the pink blanket
I was swaddled in as a baby
And the tattered rag doll
I never let go as a child
As I clutched them for dear life
With tears streaming down my face
I fell into a restless sleep
But when I woke up
I saw blood staining my blanket and doll
The same blood from my ****** wrist
And I realized
At fifteen
I was no longer a child

I constantly feel
Like I’m at war with myself
There’s a battle raging
Violently in my head

I have so many impulses
Contradicting feelings
This constant inconsistency
Has made me a walking paradox

I want to be heard, to be seen
I want everyone to know they can’t walk all over me
I want people to know who I am
I want to change the whole **** world

I want to disappear
I want everyone to disregard my mistakes
I want everyone to ignore my imperfections
I want people to think I don’t exist

Now, do you see my conundrum?
I want everything and nothing all at once
I want the world in the palm of my hand
I want to vanish into thin air

I only cry in the shower
So you can’t tell
If it’s tears or water
Running down my cheeks
And I can blame the redness
In my eyes
On a mishap
With soap or shampoo
I only cry in the shower
Because that’s when no one sees
That I have other emotions other than strong
They are vulnerability

Sticks and stones will
Break my bones but
Words will scar me forever
Bullies come from
Here and there
Oh my God
They’re everywhere
I mean, I know
I don’t act the same
But am I really that different?
It seems to me I might just be
It’s just nothing I can see
“Oh my God
You cut yourself?”
Yeah, just like your words do
“******* emo
Go **** yourself”
You don’t know how much I want to
You don’t understand
My pain will someday **** me
Because I know for a fact
Life will never accept me

I’ve never been a cup of tea
I’m more like the tenth shot of Jack
I’m the surge of adrenaline
Before your senses come back

I’m not the first choice
Or the last resort
I’m the choice you make
When you need an adventure of sorts

I’m always the one
You look over or past
But I really don’t care
It’s your party I’ll crash

So just wait and see
Until the real me comes out
I’m reckless, I’m brave
And treacherous throughout

See, I was kind of hoping
I could lay in your arms
You could lay in mine
We could listen to each others heart beat
And tell each other everything
From the past that might have scarred us
To the present we are facing
And what the future could hold
We could talk about our fears and hopes
And other serious things
Or we could tell each other jokes and stories
And just be really silly
Really, all I want
Is to lay my head on your chest
And talk
But I wouldn’t want to do
Any of this
If this is not with you

(I)’m not too sure what to do anymore
But I know I (want) to do something
Everything seems so mono(to)nous
It’s (****)ing me inside to be here right now
(My) heart feels so heavy
With low (self)-esteem
I guess this is the end

Someone once asked me
To describe my hell to them
It really got me thinking
On what would causes me the most misery
Would it be being tortured
Or a place of constant war
Maybe its someone reminding me
Of all my failures and flaws
Finally I realized
What my hell really is
Hell is loving you
And waking up alone

Goodnight, goodnight
I will recall
Goodnight, goodnight
This was a hard fall

Goodnight, goodnight
You promised we’d fight
Goodnight, goodnight
But nothing’s alright

Goodnight. goodnight
I loved you for so long
Goodnight, Goodnight
But still you are gone

Goodnight, goodnight
I’m done with this war
Goodnight, goodnight
It’s my turn to soar

Goodnight, goodnight
I refuse to grieve
Goodnight, goodnight
It’s my turn to leave

Good girls are bad girls
Who haven’t been caught
Man, I’m telling you
Forget what you thought

She’s her mama's little girl
And her daddy’s princess
Her big brother loves her
With her they feel blessed

She got into Harvard
Future full of success
Modest and preppy
Is the way she will dress

She’s got straight A’s
4.0 G.P.A
But this goodies got a secret
That she’ll never say

She’s got a tattoo
She keeps covered up
She’s got some piercings
Make her look like a punk

She’ll sneak out of school
To be with her boyfriend
But she’s real good at lying
No one finds out in the end

She drives way too fast
It can’t be street legal
With loud music pumping
Her driving’s not dull

She’s got beer in one hand
A cigarette in the other
She looks pretty bad ***
As she lights up another

She’s the life of the party
Carpe diem is her motto
She refuses to slow down
Or live with legato

This girl is the prodigy
Who keeps up the image
But she still has her fun
She has double privilege

So yeah, to you
She’s might be a good girl
But good girls are bad girls
Who never get caught

My mind is racing with
A million thoughts that
Are blurring together in
An incomprehensible way that
Confuses everyone, including me

My heart is beating fast and
I can hear it in my ears with
Its loud thumping that
Seems too uneven to
Even be a heartbeat

My hands are shaking and
I can’t stop them, they
Tremble as if they
Were overcome with fear like
I am

My legs are numb as if
They were bathed in ice and
I can’t walk or
Run from this terror that
Consumes me

Tears stream down my face so
Rapidly that I can not seem to
Catch up, it’s like
There is and ocean draining inside me and
I don’t know how to stop

My breath is ragged like
A cliffs deadly edge that
You would jump from to
Forget the misery that
A life can hold

As I put my head in
My hands I feel a wretched
Sob rack through my body with
A terrifying intensity that
Shows my true emotions
As I lay on
The cold ground, I
Can feel the confusion and
Depression settling into
Completely eat me alive

So I lay down with
My sad music playing as
I try to calm the terror that
Is bound to destroy me but
I just give up

I think the thing
I’m scared of most
Is being forgotten
Because I know
I’m not that special
There’s nothing
Extraordinary
About me
So soon enough
You’ll find someone
Much more interesting
And wonderful
And amazing than I
And you’ll forget
All about me

Some roses are red
But violets aren’t blue
Did you actually think
This was some stupid “I love you”?

I’m sick of feelings
Like hope and love
Because they all seem to fade
When push  comes to shove

Love is a four letter word
That always hurts the same
I’m always the one left behind
Left with nothing but hate and shame

So now, I refuse to feel
I’ll drink away my pain
Who needs love, anyways
If I got this bottle to drain

I feel myself fade
Away from your mind
I see it in your eyes
As I begin to disappear
I see everyone
Finding others
Becoming who
They’re meant to be
And here I sit
All alone
I know in not too long
I will matter no more

I’ve gone insane with the pain
Twisted memories still remain
I’ll never be able to escape
The terrible thoughts my head contains

Do you see these scars right here?
More to come is what I fear
But how am I supposed to heal
If I ruin what I hold dear?

I guess no one understood
Their words hurt more than any blade could
Now, I hang off their every word
As realize where I stood

I know I’ll never be good enough
I won’t make it, times are too tough
So now I lay me down to die
I’m done with life, don’t call my bluff

But this is no woe is me
I’m simply telling why I’ll no longer be
And when I’m gone you’ll wonder why
You never noticed my agony

It doesn’t matter
How shallow the water
You can still drown
It doesn’t matter
How short the cliff
You can still fall
It doesn’t matter
How small the matter
It can still tear you apart

I’ve heard them say
That the days of old
Surely were
The day’s of gold
But I can’t help
But disagree
As the days of old
Were painful to me

My demons live
Far in the past
For down below
Is where they’re cast
Far behind me
Is where I want to keep them
The past was a time
That was awfully dim

So when you say
That the days of old
Surely were
The days of gold
I disagree
I laugh and scoff
For the days of old
Are ones I’d like to brush off

Daydreamer, realities a drag
Live in your mind
Happiness in a bag
Why live in real life
When you got your stories?
You’ve got an easy way
To escape all your worries
Daydreamer, you go with the flow
Daydreamer, you dodge every blow
With your head in the clouds
You got nothing figured out
But hey, that’s ok
No need to be so stout!
As you fly with the birds
And cruse in the sky
Your lost among clouds
High as a kite

I think I saw you in my sleep, darling
Darling, you were in my dreams
You never seem to leave my mind, darling
Darling, why won’t you leave?

There’s something about you, darling
Darling, I just don’t know what
I’ve never seen someone like you, darling
Darling, you’re unique

I love the way you smile, darling
Darling, your laugh is divine
Your jokes are kind of corny, darling
Darling, I still love them

I love how awkward you are, darling
Darling, you’re oh so shy
But that’s ok, darling
Darling, we’re just the same

I know you don’t notice me, darling
Darling, I’m invisible to you
But you take up so much room in my heart, darling
Darling, I love you

I was more like a fire
Burning and raging dangerously
You were more like paper
Just waiting to be ignited

To tell you the truth, I’m toxic
I’m a pretty ****** up person
And if I’m being honest
I’ll ******* up too

I drink too much
I swear like sailor
I cut my skin
I drink the wrong pills

I’m not pretty
I’m not nice
I’m not cheerful or happy
As a girl should be

Honestly, I’m terrible
And you need someone safer
Less reckless
Than me

Because if we get attached to each other
And I do something stupid
Or you realize I’m not worth the risk
Our hearts will be broken

And I don’t want to see you hurt like that

Oh Cupid
What is your plan?
For all I see right now
Is you playing with my heart
Simply for amusement
Oh, why did you strike me
With your bitter bow
But not shoot at someone else?
All my love is wasted
Spent on unrequited love
Woe and weep
Because my tender heart
Is aching in my chest
For someone
And this hopeless love
Has left me bruised and bleeding

This is killing me
I haven’t seen you in two weeks
I could’ve sworn I was over you
And this stupid little crush
But they told me you’d be coming tomorrow
Which means I’ll probably see you
And the feeling rushed back again
Like a tsunami wave
Crashing to the shore
I could’ve sworn I was over you
But I guess I’m not

It seems to me
That when it come to relationships
I’m alway on the outside
Looking in
But as a friend I notice things
Like how my friends
Always seem to change

See, Kaci’s always been shy
She never seemed to enjoy the spotlight
But after she started dating Ty
She’s becoming confident, taking flight

Kortni’s been through hell and back
With guys who never treat her right
But now she’s with Jacob, a real nice guy
And she’s a lot happier, it’s quite a sight

Miriyam’s alway been laid back
Though kind of eccentric, without a doubt
But her boyfriend Nuno lives a bit far away
So to me, she kind of seems stressed out

Nathanael has always been my friend
Someone on who I could always depend
But we stopped talking when Jocelyn came in
And our friendship came to a sudden end

Relationships can be really good
But they can be really bad
I don’t feel I have much right to say
As I’m just someone who’s looking in
But one thing that always seems true
Sometimes good, other times not
Whether it be out of the blue
Is my friends always seem to change

I’ll gladly admit
I’m fairly insane
I’m hard to put up with
I’ll never be tamed

I’ll give you a headache
Confusion, no doubt
Awkward and quiky
That’s what I’m about

A nerd and a dork
I cause quite the damage
Not many people
Can put up the the challenge

But if you can
Put up with me
The very best
I’ll try to be

Because for those I love
I’d do it all
Sacrifice myself
So they never fall

I’m asking you
To put down your stance
I’ll prove it to you
Just give me a chance

I've drank alcohol
Less bitter than your heart
I've smoked cigarettes
Sweeter than your words
Razors cut my skin
Softer than your lies
And I've swallowed pills
That numb me less
Than the heartbreak that you caused

I didn't realize
I was just a toy
For you to play with
For you to pass your time
You spent my love
Til it was wasted
On you
And I was broken
Broken inside

And I still don't understand
Why you meant brake my heart
Was it your plan?
I went through hell and back
Just for loving you
And now you’re gone
I’m all alone
I guess
I guess I’m better off

You knew very well
You never loved me
Yet you played the part
You lied straight through your teeth
All you wanted was
To see how far you could go
But you went too far
Now you could **** me with one blow

And I still don't understand
Why you meant brake my heart
Was it your plan?
I went through hell and back
Just for loving you
And now you’re gone
I’m all alone
I guess
I guess I’m better off

I hope one day
Someone takes your selfish heart
Gives you love and adoration
Then takes it back
And walks away
Like they never even cared
It’s what you deserve

But I still don't understand
Why you meant brake my heart
Was it your plan?
I went through hell and back
Just for loving you
And now you’re gone
I’m all alone
I guess
I guess I’m better off

I’m better off
Better off
Better off…..

So this is how an angel dies
With agony and sinless cries
Battle against the Devil’s hands
Will surely lead to our demise

At war against Satan’s sin
Swords grazed against our skin
But the fight must go on
Even though our armor’s thin

His demons will attack
We will have to just fight back
Against an army of sinful fools
Without mercy we will react

This war will be won
Raised swords until we’re done
Riddance of evil now
Victorious march, one by one

This is not how an angel dies
No agonies or sinless cries
Battle against the Devil’s hand
Only led to his demise

Anger
That’s all I feel
Pumping from my heart
Coursing through my veins
Flaring in my eyes
I want to yell
At the top of my lungs
Until they explode
I want to punch something
Anything
So it can hurt like I do
I want to run
Faster and farther
Until my legs are numb and give out
I feel so many ******* emotions
That all want to come out at once
So they all come out as anger
So I’m sorry
If I lash out and hurt you
I’m just so **** angry
And I can’t help it

They say that hell is empty
And the devils are all here
They say we should be careful
That everything’s to fear
But I ignore the cautions
The warnings that I hear
It’s not like we are angels
Or people to hold dear
Yes, devils are among us
But I don’t think we should fear
Because we, ourselves the people
Are the devils that are here

It seems like
Every time I turn around
Someone is leaving
Then I turn back around
And bam
Someone else is gone

I wish I knew
What it is about me
That drives everyone away
Is it something I can change
Or am I stuck like this
Forever

Maybe it’s because I’m fat
And ugly
And stupid
And worthless
And broken
And will never be good enough

Honestly, I can’t think of any other reasons
I’m just a disappointment
No one will ever love me
People don’t always see it at first
But when they do
They leave

I guess that’s why I’m so used to being alone

He never learned to touch without scarring
He never learned to speak without scaring
He never learned to joke without mocking
He never learned to live without hurting

See, his father was crazed
While his mother just braved
With anger, he was raised
And he was never saved

Deep down, he’s a sweet boy
But that’s what his father sought to destroy
He was abused like a play-toy
And their house lacked joy

He wasn't a soft person
His childhood made him a violent version
The constant incursion
Caused extreme introversion

It’s a horrible cycle
That can make anyone spiteful
Violently idle
Or in his case, suicidal

2 a.m is for parties
Showing off to loud music
And a thumping bass
**** and beer being passed around
As we try to forget the tragedy
That is our teenage years

2 a.m. is for the envious
The castaways constantly forgotten
Who wish they could be accepted
But don’t realize their pain
Would prevail either way

2 a.m is for forgetting
With a dreamful escape
Dead for at least a few hours
Because sometimes you just can’t deal with being awake
And suicide is frowned upon

2 a.m. is for remembering
Whether you want to or not
As you lay awake in bed
Mind racing with thoughts and memories
Sleep never comes

2 a.m. is for the lonely
Wishing for someone to hold
Someone who understands
But as they reach for the other side of the bed
They find nothing but empty space

2 a.m. is for the lovers
Happily sleeping in each others arms
Because they’re finally at peace
They can face the world together
And sleep can come easily

2 a.m. is being single
Because love ***** and feelings hurt
And sometimes you just need to find yourself
So you can be independent
And get shamelessly wasted

2 a.m. is for the parents
Who heard their baby cry
Or their kid had a nightmare
Because yeah, sleeping is great
But taking care of your child is so much better

2 a.m. is for alcoholics
Who fake a smile all day
To drink their pain away all night
And wish they could trade their heart
For another liver

2 a.m. is for the sober ones
Who never drink or gave it up
And are fighting the temptation
But everything seems tougher
At 2 a.m.

2 a.m. is for those smart people
Whose minds are always working
To figure everything out
And refuse to take a break
Because that’s just wasted time

2 a.m. is for the dumb people
Who aren't really dumb
They’re just smart in a different way
But after getting called stupid their whole lives
They start to believe it

2 a.m is for the fans
Staying up all night watching their favorite show or band
Because they saved their life
And they are more than willing to do anything for them
And losing some sleep isn't much

2 a.m. is for the students
Who are cramming for an exam
Or finishing their essay
Or maybe just procrastinating
Because ****, school is hard

2 a.m. is for the teachers
Because they need to grade these papers
Or complete the lesson plan
And even if it doesn't seem like it
Teaching is a hard job

2 a.m. is for the doctors
Working the graveyard shift
That have seen way too much in their career
But someones gotta do it
And saving lives is worth it

2 a.m. is for the nurses
Working along side the doctors
Wishing they had the same respect as doctors
But would never give up their job
Because they really are good people

2 a.m. if for the patients
Who are in so much pain
And are fighting for their lives
They just want to get out of this place
That smells a bit too clean

2 a.m. is for the readers
Who can’t put down their book
Because it’s just that good
And refuse to sleep until they know
What happens to their favorite characters

2 a.m. is for the dreamers
Who’s imagination comes to life
At the oddest times
And think life is ******* amazing
If you look at it just right

2 a.m. is for the realist
Who can’t sleep because they know how ****** life is
And lost their innocence long ago
They refuse to sugar coat anything
Because they don’t want others to hurt like they did

2 a.m. is for the poets
Writers whose minds can come up with anything
At any time
And they just have to get up and write it
In fear of forgetting it

2 a.m. is for musicians
Who stay up all night to play a gig
Or finish a song before the magic fades
And they know this sleepless life is hard
But they love it anyways

2 a.m. is for artist
Because that clear vision
Just won’t translate on the sketch
And yeah, it’s getting really late
But that’s no reason to give up

2 a.m. is for the cutters
Who rid themselves of daily pain
With the bitter-sweet kiss of a blade
And new scars
Only to cover them up in the morning

2 a.m. is for saving lives
Because that’s when things get tough
The ones you love are about to give up
But you fight like hell to stop them
And a phone call has never been so important

2 a.m. is for suicide
Because you don’t believe anyone cares
And this is the best time to end your life
Since it’s easier to go unnoticed
And you don’t realize the pain you’ll cause

2 a.m. is for everyone
Because everyone goes through life
Because everyone feels
And every emotion seems a  thousand times stronger
Those late nights at 2 a.m.

Sometimes
I feel numb
Because every breath I take
Is cold
My tear ducts
Seem dry
And my brain
Seems to be on autopilot
I feel my heart beat
And I trace my veins
I may be alive
But I’m not truly living