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 Feb 2014 Dhirana
carmen
fireflies
moonlit skies
starry eyes
empty canvas
drowsy nights staying up too late
movie marathons
the temptation of closed gates
homemade cookies
faraway lands
questioning authority
taking a stand
building sandcastles
finding your home
giving up something
you never owned
 Feb 2014 Dhirana
Andrew Durst
I never
Abused
Substances
To find answers
Or search
For something
Within myself.
I abused
Substances
To avoid the
Questions
And feelings
All
Together.
Basic.
 Feb 2014 Dhirana
Andrew Durst
I'll be the first to admit
I'm really out of shape,
My hair is way too long
And always in my face.

I'm not that tall,
I'm actually really short.
I don't have nice features,
And I'm not good at any sport.

I'm kind of like a black eye;
Nobody wants one.

I can make you smile
I can make you laugh,
I can make you feel wanted,
So you can forget about the past.

I will always be here for you,
Day and night,
You'll never have to raise your voice,
Because we would never fight.

But none of that matters,
At least that's what it seems,
No one really wants
The unattractive me.
 Feb 2014 Dhirana
Andrew Durst
I thought I had meaning but I've meant nothing all along,
And now I'm stuck at the bottom because that's where I belong.

Every day, it's all the same.
I try and I fail.
Tomorrow won't be different,
I can't escape this hell.

I'm living my life on repeat and simply wasting away,
Because usually it's all worth nothing at the end of the day.
 Feb 2014 Dhirana
Andrew Durst
I'm just a boy
Starring outside
From a second story
Window.
And you're just a girl
Walking down the
Sidewalk..
I don't know if I'll ever
See you again.
But I'd like to think
I will.

Some day.
 Jan 2014 Dhirana
aviisevil
"come here ****** , sit with us"
As I walked away from those eyes
"whats the matter , we'll show you love"
I knew , nothing but lies

I was the funny one , the clown
"look he's coming , lets push him down"
They laughed at me when I was hurt
"you're so funny mate , now turn around"

"hey you , you look like a girl"
They used to scream at me
"oh he's crying , so much hurt"
But still they couldnt see

"come here stupid , now entertain"
i'm so tired Please , not again
"we'll beat you stupid *******"
i've to play their sadistic game again

On my way home their was no respite
"look how he walks , left and right"
They stared at me like an animal
Do you know how it feels to live your every moment in fright

Afraid of everything that touches you
Everything that goes by
Can't stop no matter what you do
Every wish and dream is to die

"child , why are you so different?"
Always asked my folks
"cant you act normal for a moment"
"is this your idea of a joke?"

"child , why don't you speak much"
At the dinner table they always spoke
" maybe we should send him to a boarding school"
Yeah , like that would've stopped the world from being an *******

"look at his wrists , he has done it again"
As they gathered around me in a choke hold
"did it pain, now do it again"
Or we'll tell your dad and he'll scold

Yelled the teacher infront of them
"fool , get out of the class , you're disturbing everyone"
He could'nt see they were poking me with a pen
And my hair was full of gum

"your kid is a ******"
Whispered the man in the office to my dad
"take away his guitar"
He's listening to rock and thats too bad

"I bet he takes drugs"
"is he into satan?"
"your child is cursed"
He talked without a curtain

"you , I curse the day you were born"
The only thing I had always known
The last ounce of sanity in me
Departed , Now finally gone

I was dying but now I was dead
A new persona began to form
As the last bullet pierced my head
The old one was long gone

The new one wasn't the nice one
All he had was anger and rage
All he had was hatred for everyone
Now it was his time to play

His lips parted and he whispered to the world
"man ,finally i'm 'gonna have some fun"
His heart full of hatred , ready to tame the world
With a sick smile he picked up his shiny gun


another columbine had begun..
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