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Apr 2017 · 511
telephony
DH Matthews Apr 2017
i have a crush on a phone
sinking in it as a stone
would sink into a vat of ink
lost in pigment, far from home
longing for its bed of loam
i have a crush on a phone
i'd like to crush this ****** phone
for with a free hand i could find
a way out of this citrus rind
this volatile warming smile
**** i'm doing it again
i have the choice to be alone
but instead i'm on my phone
for want of--**** it nevermind
once again i've lost my mind
i'm crushing on my ******* phone
scuse me while i crush this phone
Aug 2016 · 459
antidepressant detox
DH Matthews Aug 2016
it's a dizzying impression to see one's own depression
no class or task or master can us for that prepare
that contradictive dissonance, that roguish thought of insolence
rejecting solemn peace of mind and peeling psyche bare
nerves, synapses, signals sent? what **, depression, whence!?
it's to me no mystery, a consequence of sense
a side effect of our accursed proclivity to care
better, then, to not, and give to death concession
the tragedy, the folly, the angst, our depression
Jul 2016 · 328
freedom
DH Matthews Jul 2016
arbore libertas, with fruits of life
grows in a loam of blood and strife
watered with fear, blooms of terror
feeding a home constituted of error
all times too cold, all times too hot
perpetual victim of the coup d'etat
beneath comfy shade, the thinkers think
of some ancient tome of a world at a brink
nourished by sap flavored saltpeter
sure of the future tasting so sweeter
blind to the souls lost underfoot
things they're content to turn into soot
watch the world burn in a blaze of inaction
fueled by logs from a cutting contraption
it's under this tree we're all learnt to sit
and savor this odor, demagogical ****
one thing we'll hear of which to be sure
this smell's required, life grows in manure
it sounds like a lie, then again, what's true?
the only concern in a world full of you
there's only a home fed by a tree
fit with a swing, a rope just for me
Apr 2016 · 425
spirits
DH Matthews Apr 2016
i taste the spirits in the plant
a blue and warming paradox
soaked in acid, cooled on rocks

i feel the spirits in the starch
heark'ning to the victory march
of a century buried in snow

of the grape, spirits i know
i'm calcified a hue of violet
give my mind to autopilot

i love the spirits in the hops
afloat on bubbles to the tops
plenty left yet somehow scant

succumb to spirits, getting wetter
make your own one all the better
lose yourself in what we make
rejoin them upon your wake
Apr 2016 · 415
realize
DH Matthews Apr 2016
i realize
with terrorists i
sympathize
with the murderers that
we chastise
so try to open up
your masked eyes
and maybe then you'll
recognize
that united we'll
all arise
to triumph over
our past lies
a truth we learned
to surmise
that i won't last
til sunrise
seen just before
my soul dies
in hope one day
you'll realize
Mar 2016 · 334
modern art!
DH Matthews Mar 2016
is it more accurate to say of humanity today
that our art consists of blood and feces smeared across the page?
yes, more so than any notion which i know
that's all we are and all we will and all we hold as sage
Mar 2016 · 374
solitude
DH Matthews Mar 2016
solitude, the only trait which we exude
together in our lonesomeness upon the same big rock
we thrash against it, more or less, the ticking of the clock
oh the folly! all the waste, the hurt, the love, absurdity
it's all we have in haste to make our very own profundity
before the closing of the coffin, burning of our ashes
how i'd prefer to serve my time: adorned with camera flashes
embalmed and set upon a rock, for all my fellow ones to see
and squirm in squeamish joy at all my peeled back dignity
solitude, the only proper attitude
with which we can approach the senseless nature of existence
a mind, a hole in timespace, fleetingly fought resistence
against that voiding encroach, the darkness of persistence
one day i'll greet it as a friend and hope it's in good mood
and meet with all my theories, my end, my solitude
the ultimate tool of the narcissist
Mar 2016 · 312
dissection
DH Matthews Mar 2016
i pluck a patch of flesh from my torso laid before me
microscopic angles never did too much 'cept bore me
i ponder at it as i watch it turn to plastic waste
and toss it to the side to join its kin, the long disgraced
i dive headfirst into the pile
thinking out loud all the while
what the *******'ve done to me
to make me loathe such harmony
a call to arms is horrifying
as it harms the glorifying
capitalizing, profiteering
bourgeoisie world engineering
i eat my path through all the **** the world has given to me
i see my comrades scoff and nosh and drink their minds all dreamy
the world is coming down to see itself through all its trash
it's still convinced it's beautiful through all the camera flash
you will die, but so will i
it'll be a work of art
like none before, no final score
and time will not restart
frankly i'm not even sure what i'm saying at this point
Mar 2016 · 869
my steak is talking to me
DH Matthews Mar 2016
my steak is talking to me
telling me its name
i know it more than most good friends
i'll eat it all the same
Feb 2016 · 365
Theory of Mind
DH Matthews Feb 2016
three old crones went walking on the pier
Void, Metaphysic and everything Here
Metaphysic whispered something into Void's ear
Here wished to listen so she sidled up near
much to her dismay, there was nothing there to hear
Void ignored Metaphysic, Here shed a tear

from afar i watched and i pondered over beer
if they're over there then how am i over here?
Feb 2016 · 408
Untitled about you
DH Matthews Feb 2016
you're everything, how can i say
the perfect way to end my day
a hot shower past midnight
our hot showers in the morning
one more loss which i'll be mourning
when you left me without warning
i was paralyzed with fright
i couldn't live without your might
i thought one day you'd be my wife
you're everything, what can i say
go **** yourself, enjoy your life
DH Matthews Dec 2015
some time ago i had a friend
a friend without compare
we plied our rhyme and killed our time
building our thoroughfare

we spent our nights in solitude
for lack of what we spent
we stayed in bed and lied til dead
and slept on words unsent

we spoke our slang, i later found
one night in bed we lie
my head, it stayed, that night, in bed,
and since i've been 'long for the ride

some time ago i had a friend
with whom i'd lie in bed
then i'd woken to lies unspoken;
my friend lies in my head

i look back now at all the lies
told to me at the end
beyond mine eyes, to my surprise
the bed was my true friend
Nov 2015 · 258
paranoia
DH Matthews Nov 2015
my strongest paranoia
is not the simple prospect
of always being watched
by some far distant observer
but of being lied to
by that same exact observer
Nov 2015 · 315
3:09 AM
DH Matthews Nov 2015
Getting a message from the edge of the universe saying "come get me"
Accepting that that place is accelerating away from me faster than I can comprehend
Realizing that the journey may very well not be worth it

But I've been wrong before
you're the one that chose this
Nov 2015 · 294
clean break
DH Matthews Nov 2015
i remember it like yesterday, rather, week or two ago
i said i can't, no wait, she said you really ought to go
denied and bargained, screamed and cried
regretted calls but never lied
we were children then, all our time to take
but **** that, we're older now, and only phones will break

skip a chapter, maybe two, and go back to the start
time distorting to pass time, love life being smart
i have no words, no grains of sand
not a ******* thing in this whole land
i was a child then, all my time to take
but **** that, i'm older now, and only cars will break

waiting on impatient tables, waiting on impatient life
waiting on some therapist to figure out my strife
along came someone, someone new
someone random, someone blue
i was a child then, all my time to take
but **** that, i'm older now, and only lungs will break

i could say i'm doing fine but you know that's just a line
and lines are better kept for that **** screenplay of mine
i'll finish it, in all's good time
and come up with one more good rhyme
you say we're children now, we need more time to take
i guess we're not too old for these ******* hearts to break
who doesn't love a good breakup poem
Jul 2015 · 314
Quotient
DH Matthews Jul 2015
you can have it
i don't want it
it's really not for me
it's not a gift
it's not a curse
it's simply just a thing
stop saying that
you do not know
i am not your better
i'm just a one
and one is one
that's all we'll ever be

if i'm so smart
how'd i get here
and why have i not left yet
Jun 2015 · 795
Selfless
DH Matthews Jun 2015
unable to know the struggles of womanhood
unable to identify with the patriarchy

unable to sympathize with the lowest classes
unwilling to sympathize with the highest classes

not of color due to a privilege by birth
vehemently rejecting of ubiquitous white supremacy

not of a divergent sexuality
not so steeped in the norm as to reject the very idea

aloof from generational narratives of tenacious entrepreneurship
slave to demographic trends of marginal employment

born with a leg up in the freest nation's capitalist paradise
dreams of one day seeing it destroyed

tasked to be normal
i begin to wonder
Jun 2015 · 667
Mimesis
DH Matthews Jun 2015
nice to meet you, how are you
i am well, and guarded too
something 'bout you, i can't place
you have voice, and a pretty face
you abstract thinker, mental scribe
let's meet here and we'll imbibe
and then we'll talk and then we'll bake
and talk some more and then partake
i'll fall asleep into your arms
and i'll awaken to your charms
if by dawn the music's done
we'll hit the store for another one
i'll lead a tango, just for us
and i won't look to hop the bus
i'll follow you where you might go
i'll listen to what you might know
i'll mend my craft with you in mind
i'll see the beauty you designed
May 2015 · 409
Perfect Stranger
DH Matthews May 2015
sometimes i worry i’m not enough
but a cursory glance in the mirror
reveals to me a solemn reminder
it’s not as bad as it seems
i rocked the world and made it rain
i spun it new ways and old
i’m venturing forth in fruitful search
of life’s most precious treasures
so i’ll let the ills of modern life
present to me their challenge
and enjoy knowing what i can do
when i’ve met the perfect stranger
rhyming is for squares
DH Matthews Feb 2015
green and flaky
packed up tight
with ignition
primed for flight
where we're going
out of sight
let's make something
of tonight

if by dawn
the music's done
and we're finished
having fun
we'll break fast
eat a ton
and we'll pack
another one

life's unfair
cruel and short
but in a storm
the only port
for just tonight
this is our court
and we the nobles
have retort

**** the system
**** the cops
**** the bourgeois
at the tops
love the highs
but **** the drops
**** this life
until it stops
**** that was a good one
Jan 2015 · 736
Balancing Act
DH Matthews Jan 2015
A rush of blood to the head
And my friends, we take flight!

The key to life in our firm grasp
We ascend to the cosmos
Our eternal rest.

Joyed to find life from a cold, dead husk
Believed to be the end of reality.

This world may yet be celebrated.
the most interpretive piece of writing i've ever come up with
DH Matthews Dec 2014
Why, hello!
Have a seat,
enjoy the show!
Attend the tale
of Mister No.

A life uncouth,
hell is assumed
to be the truth
for our dear friend,
the sayer of sooth.

An awful, loathing egotist
A self-defeating narcissist
Lonely, yes, but not alone
Lost in life, the fault his own

Stuck in his head
He lowers the bar
Smokes himself dead
And accumulates tar

So much to do
Enjoy, and feel
Yet he sits, wallows
Accepts his deal

I hope you're enjoying
this caution'ry tale
of the sad clown's life,
destined to fail.

You may have missed
a sort of twist;
I am that one,
that narcissist;
that losing, hating
pessimist,
that one who lives
life without list.

Laugh, point, cry, mock,
do what you will.
There's not much you can do
that I haven't already done to myself.
Go home, the show's over.
Nov 2014 · 687
Day in, day out
DH Matthews Nov 2014
Day in, day out
Think on it more
Figure it out
Think on it again
Maybe you'll learn something

Day in
Work for scraps
Hate yourself
Your education
Day out

Day in
Care for everyone
And it becomes no one
Failing to relate
Day out

Day in
Gaining weight
Curse your habits
Dive right in
Day out

Day in
Try some drugs
Not a solution
Marginally pleasant stopgap
Day out

Day in
Love your parents
Providing shelter
Resent them regardless
Day out

Day in
Wake up exhausted
Fall asleep awake
Simply nothing left here
Day out

Day in
Write another's words
Forget your own
And step in line
Day out

Day in, day out
The future is blurred
Figure it out
Coming up blank
Maybe the cancer is already growing
this is my life now
Aug 2014 · 499
still untitled about love
DH Matthews Aug 2014
to be or not to be
that's not the question
because i have no choice
to love or not to love
suits life much better

to love
to trust, to open, to feel another
life besides my own
and all the insecurities
doubt
fear
elation
that come along with it

or not to love
to give in to complacency
and this overwhelming desire to give
up in smoke with nothing to show
no legacy
no survivors
nothing left
besides the end, the abyss, the void

whether it's love
is the more difficult question
how do i know if it's love i feel
fear or love
phobos, philos
amazing how two polar opposites
are so easily conflated in my
silly head (which i think is overrated anyway)

it's the subjectivity of it
all that i cannot bear
alone, or together, no way
of knowing

to love or not to love
and whether or not it's love
let's hear Hamlet's whingy romanticized opinion on that, the *****
it's starting to make sense that i'm single
Aug 2014 · 396
Debate
DH Matthews Aug 2014
Naught in this world quite like debate
Competition of minds
Unique to humanity
(as far as we know)
Logic against logic

The change of perspective
The death of ignorance
The critique of reason

The only purpose of opinion
Is to be proven to others
probably should've been a trial lawyer
Jun 2014 · 531
On Nailbiting
DH Matthews Jun 2014
Compulsion
The same reason my feet bounce and roll and move
every which way;
A motion I cannot control.

Completion
The same reason I finish that which I start
(within constraint);
A satisfaction I don't often find.

Craving
The same reason I poison myself with smoke
in spite of reason;
In simplest terms, addiction.

Conciliation
I have bled countless times.
I have regrets; I have scars.
I have attempted to stop.

However
For the life of me, and
For the life of my hands
I cannot bring myself
To spare me the pain of bad decisions.
seriously though i do bite my nails way too much, i even get into the cuticle and the skin on my knuckles and fingertips, it really isn't pleasant
Jun 2014 · 526
Commodore Perry
DH Matthews Jun 2014
I'll say you're beautiful (and you probably are)
I'll tell you I'm lucky (and I probably am)
I'll preach about never until now
I'll be what you dreamed of, hopefully more
And I'll try not to snag my foot on the door
guess who has a date this Saturday
Jun 2014 · 408
Asphyxiate
DH Matthews Jun 2014
Grasp the lighter, sure your grip
Roll the flint, don't let it slip
Hold it steady, inhale smooth
Don't exhale yet, let it soothe
Toss it to the city floor
Grab another, smoke some more
Feel the pain, forget it soon
Turn your lungs black as new moon
Choke your stress, asphyxiate
**** your problems, seal your fate
yeesh i write a lot about smoking
May 2014 · 1.5k
Untitled
DH Matthews May 2014
The invisible hand of supply and demand
Penetrated the ****** of every woman and man
No gloves, no ****, no mercy, quite crude
Gracious for more 'cause it's for our own good
I looked back and noticed, despite myself
That it's not invisible, just invisibly manned
May 2014 · 1.0k
Asylum Rhyme
DH Matthews May 2014
Hickory dickory dock
The hands went round the clock
Began to think, poured a drink
******* and three rocks

Hickory dickory dock
Of life, begun to take stock
Quite bereft, there's not much left
And no longer part of the flock

Hickory dickory dock
Went and purchased a Glock
Tastes like metal, burns like a kettle
*******, trigger and stock
nursery rhyme + time
May 2014 · 1.5k
Adderall
DH Matthews May 2014
Everything
Must Be In
Perfect Or-
der

Even Your
Anxiety Is
Prescribed

Deviation
Must Not
Be Tolera-
ted

Even Sta-
rvation Is
Accepted

The Dis-
order Is
Bad But
Wait Til
You See
How We
Treat It
ad lib and on my 5th day Adderall free
May 2014 · 474
Saving Grace
DH Matthews May 2014
Today on my walk, I met a man
With ripped up jeans and a mangled hand
He muttered some words, I gave him some change
A lingering smell, the face of the deranged
I can't help but imagine my feet had trod
There, but for the grace of god.

Back at my home, the television news
Ran the story of a fireman's crew
They saved the kittens but lost the kids
A life torn apart, property up for bids
I can't help but imagine my feet had trod
There, but for the grace of god.

Then a poor man peddling drug in Detroit
Skilled handling money, with a gun, adroit
On his way back home, the police opened fire
He will never see justice, just a cremation pyre
I can't help but imagine my feet had trod
There, but for the grace of god.

Privilege, luck, name what you will
The father I have who can shoulder the bill
Undeserving, ungrateful, I was born into boon
The ebb/flow of life, due nothing but the moon
Were life a fair game I'd be the one who'd trod
There, but alas, there is no god.
ad lib, inspired by a homeless man for whom i bought a Pepsi
he'll never be able to read this and i'll never be able to thank him
what's worse, Pepsi will never thank him either
Apr 2014 · 461
five year plan
DH Matthews Apr 2014
how i long for the embrace of nothing, even less than now
i don't think i have a death wish but i definitely don't have a life wish
**** everything
Apr 2014 · 972
Jobless Recovery
DH Matthews Apr 2014
Hi Matt,

After further consideration, unfortunately, at this time, we are unable to pay you a meager wage to place food on a tray and carry it.  I would like to placate the fear dominating your psyche that you are considered worthless by our utilitarian capitalist society with hollow thanks. I will keep your application on file for the next three months or whatever and in the rare event that our needs change, we will contact you to see if you haven't killed yourself yet.

Sincerely,

Potential Employer #283
this is not comedy
(for anyone worried, i'm not suicidal)
DH Matthews Apr 2014
me and i and nobody
nobody and me and i
me? who?
"who, him? nobody"

her.
her...
somebody. (anybody!)
her......
....
she--!

her: "you."
me: "...me?"
her: "you and me."
...
me: "you and i."

her and i, me and her, her and i, me and she
us....
us!
it! (mhm, that.)
us, and that.

us! us, us, we, us, we, we, us
us and them, us and those, us and some
them and me?...
...
us.
us and them.
me, and her and them.
me and her...and them.
and him. him...
him?
me and him...me...and you.

...
...
...

"her and him..."
him? him!? HER AND HIM!?
ME!!!!

me:
her and him
her and him
her and him
her and him
her and him

me: "you and him?"
her: "me and you!"
me: "you and him!"
her: "you..."
me: "YOU AND HIM!"
her:
me: "me or him."
her:
me: "you and him."

...

us...me and her...
...
her. and him. it. (that.)
(that!? her and him!?)

me and i and nobody
nobody and me and i
me? who? (her...)
"who, me? nobody."
arranging a bunch of words that couldn't even make up a single sentence in a way that creates a narrative with characters...somebody explain to me why i thought poetry was stupid in high school?
DH Matthews Feb 2014
Beside me on the table lies a small green stem;
This stem once with it carried a lovely botanical gem.
Outside the window yonder is a city caked in snow;
Such that all is cancelled and I have nowhere to go.
It's funny that this stem of green shucked clean and here laid bare
Gets mention in this rhythmic verse 'bout all that white out there.
For you see, my friends, that stem, to me's a sad reminder
Of a time (and time again) to me, that's so much kinder.
And now, of course, I have a day, no deadlines, dues, or debits
But that stem is what remains of a stash worth several credits.
A tragedy to none but those who also will partake;
To me, a dearth that stonewalls my voracity to bake.
Alas, I open this white page and 'ply my verse unto
Lament for being 'void of green...what has my life come to?
ad lib and delightfully cheeky
Jan 2014 · 551
Silvered Glass
DH Matthews Jan 2014
I know I know that guy,
I just know I do.
I've been seeing him for years.
He's got dark brown curls.
He's got bluish green eyes.
His face is familiar. I'm sure I know it.
I can't place it but I've seen it before.

I can look at that ******* for hours...
Just waiting for him to blink.
Nov 2013 · 2.3k
This is me not caring.
DH Matthews Nov 2013
Why did you even read this poem?
If I don't care, why should you?
ad lib and much deeper than i was originally intending
Nov 2013 · 599
addictive properties
DH Matthews Nov 2013
alas, i start a fire ahead of me
shield the flame as it dances
take a deep breath and release
it feels as good as it hurts
a dichotomy of shame
a conundrum from which
there is little hope for escape
and just like that, i become a statistic

those glorious stalks
of white and beige
contain my salvation
from the things i'd rather not think about right now

and each time i 'save' myself
i cede another few minutes to the void

here is not where i want to be
and so i opt to **** myself

i mean come on, if that's not melodramatic, i don't know what is.
ad lib and too cold to take a smoke break
Nov 2013 · 495
Lexiconoclastic
DH Matthews Nov 2013
Why walk when you can jaunt, why wander when you can meander, why run when you can dash, why jump when you can launch yourself, why smile when you can beam, why cry when you can weep, why regret when you can lament, why laugh when you can chuckle, why stare when you can leer, why say "leave me alone" when you can say "*******," why say "you're kidding me" when you can say "no ****," why say "rude" when you can say "*******," why leave out Oxford commas when you can just as easily not, why abbreviate Latin when it's such a beautiful language, et cetera.

So many different things to consider for a writer.

So no, mom, maybe you should watch your language.
ad lib and looking forward to being home for the holiday
Nov 2013 · 631
Just...go to sleep.
DH Matthews Nov 2013
The clock rolls past the 12.
I'll need to be feeling tired soon,
And still, I push back the sleep.

The clock flies past the 1.
I'm still playing the same game of Civ 5,
And still, I push back the sleep.

The clock careens past the 2.
That econ exam tomorrow's real,
And still, I push back the sleep.

The clock ticks past the 3.
I've just now relapsed on tobacco,
And still, I push back the sleep.

The clock runs past the 4.
I've let classes get ahead of me,
And still, I push back the sleep.

The clock quick approaches 5.
I need to sort this **** out,
Alas, I'll get to that after I sleep.

Not sure what'll happen at 6.
So many tasks to be done,
Course, by then I'll be fast asleep.

Before I know it it'll be 12 again.
I can't say whether I'll be awake,
But at least I'll have caught up on sleep.
ad lib and way the **** past anyone's bedtime
Nov 2013 · 1.2k
This is an intervention.
DH Matthews Nov 2013
You need to start doing things.
Look at everything you have,
Everything you were given,
And realize you've done nothing.

You were given this handsome face,
And you close yourself off from others.

You were given a healthy body,
And you refuse to take proper care of it.

You were given a brain capable of immense thought,
And you just smoke **** and complain.

You were given a rare knack for writing,
And you never apply it to anything.

You were given an extraordinary ability to learn,
And you stopped trying.

You were given a chance at higher education,
And your choice will lead to disappointment.

You were given so much chance to succeed in life,
And you're letting your personality get in the way.

This is an intervention.
You need to change your ways,
Or you'll end up just like everyone else.
ad lib
DH Matthews Sep 2013
Why?
It's a painful memory that appears to be settling in for life rather than preparing to leave,
It's been heard by countless millions, and none of them can understand how it sounds to me,
I haven’t been as happy since hearing it as I was when I heard it,
It's symbolic of the most significant turning point in my life to date,
The lyrics are so perfectly foreshadowing of a problem that I couldn't fathom that I’d have,
It has a stronger connection to memory than any other song,
It represents the perpetual unhappiness that I refuse to believe controls me.
I'm unhappy.

Where?
A car that I haven’t seen in years,
On a street I barely saw enough of,
In a town I wish I could visit again.
A happier place that I can see but can never return to,
Personified by a face that's disappeared from here.
Somewhere I miss, yet somewhere I hate;
Somewhere that needed the version of me that died in that very place;
A cemetery.

When?
Happier times;
A collection of moments which are infinite from within,
Yet minute from without.
A time when I could define myself,
Through the vice of another person;
Albeit vicariously, it was the last time
I was able to define myself.
I was everything; I was the world.
And then the world ended.
Happier times that I can't and won't return to.

What?
A song;
A memory;
A beautiful beat,
In a story that nobody's telling.
A soundtrack to a movie nobody wants to see,
A composition that will fall on deaf ears;
Yet still be heard by the world at large, call it irony.
Something nobody can take away from me;
Despite how tenaciously I've tried to get rid of it.
A succession of noises that would be meaningless to me,
Were it not for the memory.
The memory.

Who?
She, I, and the drivers of some road in Georgia;
Drivers that didn't notice then and don't notice now.
She, driving, demonstrating, performing;
Has driven on, failing to notice.
Me, her, and the songwriter, I suppose;
Me, a person I don't know,
Replaced by a person I can't.
The songwriter, collecting her checks and trophies,
Probably not a **** to give about the troubles
Of some ******* who heard her song.
Us, a concept foreign to me;
Unbeknownst then, well studied now;
Still as foreign as that state,
That city,
That road,
That car,
That place that I can revisit,
But never go back;
Her.

The Song?
Because I'm unhappy;
In a cemetery,
During happier times that I can't and won't return to;
A memory
With her.
I need more words.

Words
Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you.
Don't forget me, I beg.
I remember you said:
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead.

But that's not right.
I won't find someone like you;
There was no you.
I wish anything but the best for you;
You selfish child.
Please forget me;
I'm nothing worth remembering.
I've forgotten everything you said.
It rarely, if ever, lasts in love.
It always hurts.
Laughable,
The things I tell myself to bandage
A wound that doesn't appear.
The clichés I give meaning to are

******* pitiful.
Just about two years and counting.
Two psychiatrists,
Two half-assed ******* suicide attempts,
Dozens of classes,
Legions of friends,
A handful of people so much like you that they'd failed to notice there is no you,
And you're still talking about this
Pile of ****.
Who's talking about it?
Me? You?
Nobody.
It's white noise;
Habituation at play.
A memory not worth remembering.
Three years of piano lessons,
The lines of my scripts,
The best films throughout history,
Even the Eagles game from last week is

Worth remembering
This,
This moment in time occupied by just another pop song,
Time spent with a person no longer there,
Family member after family member, anecdote after anecdote,
Things not to say or do in front of her hulking ******* of a brother,
Approval of people I wound up discarding.
What now?

I need more words.

Where were we?
Fresh year, fresh start, and the Eagles were still a winning team○;
A dorm, a drunken haze, a bed, a city unparalleled;
Untested grounds for a young idiot
Like me. She certainly did
And wasn't afraid to show it.
Independence, experience, maturity,
And a stunning mutual lack thereof.
Problems, buried like the worst ******* time capsule ever.
Happiness (unsustainable)
Love (attachment)
Future ()
A candle burning down to its last wax can’t relight,
And a pile of wax won't help me see in the dark.

But who needs candles anyway?
I'm better off without candles,
Playing with fire can get me burnt.
And besides, lightbulbs are brighter and more efficient.
I’ll install lightbulbs all over the apartment,
Once I can figure out how to turn the power back on.
Oh, there aren't power lines running to this apartment.
(sure wish I had a candle right about now)
Maybe the light from this cigarette will help.
And I could sure use a cigarette right now
Because they’re playing that song again.
Surely I can find some better music than this.
This station seems nice, let's see what she can offer.
They're playing that song again.
Over and over again.
Is it just me, or are they always playing that song?
It's always that song, no matter what.
It's all I ever hear.
Pop radio sure is terrible these days, right?
Sure is.
Can't walk down the street to class without hearing

That ******* ******* song.*

(
Nobody else is hearing it.
I'm the one singing it.
My life's a ******* joke, isn't it?
)

○The Philadelphia Eagles were 10-6 in 2010, 8-8 in 2011, and 4-12 last year. And during the ‘still friends’ period, we watched the division rival Giants win the Super Bowl together. I ******* hated it.
English class final project; a lyric essay about a song that reminds me of a specific time, approximately a thousand words in at least five different sections, and something cited from the outside world from said time. The feedback from my professor and classmates was overwhelmingly positive, so I figured I'd share.

also, the "more words" bits were tongue in cheek references to the 1000 word minimum for the assigment

— The End —