Emotion is like a campfire
You try to cover it with hard wood
but true feeling is in the burning coals

you cannot touch it
so you try to cover it
but it will only burn brighter

if only I can find a way

to sever myself from what makes me worry

to free myself from this empty feeling inside me

to break away from this darkness

if only I can find a way

to see myself out of this maze

tick tick tick

the clock ticks away
driving me insane

tick tick tick

time flies away
while I am standing still

tick... tick...

I need to drown it out
I need to keep it blocked

tick...*

but when it goes silent
all I hear is the clock

expectation can cause frustration
and haunts all of us like an infestation
sometimes through parents and their oppression
or, in my case, I create my own expectation
by trying to be perfect in someone else's vision
when I know fully well that will lead to depression
perhaps it's just a result of misdirection
how would I know? there is just too much *confusion

I am going day by day
acting like every day is a normal day
while my feelings grow

eventually it will be too much
and I reach the breaking point

am I feeling better?
I think so
thing are starting to be calm

when I think of you
and get that gut-wrenching feeling
it no longer bothers me

even though I still like you
and care about you
you no longer hurt me

how can I escape my darkening thoughts
when surrounded by negative feelings?

This time I need to know
I really must be told
If it's over

It's up to you you know
The things you want to hold
Are in pieces

Crashing down
Crashing down again

Crashing down
Crashing down my friends

I've got to move it on
I've got to sing my song
While I still can

Dispatch the last alarms
Hand out the last few charms
There's no surprises

Only love
Only love can win

Crashing down
Crashing down again

Only love
Yeah only love will win

Crashing down
Crashing down again

This time I need to know
I really must be told
That it's over

I've lived my life alone
My every step foretold
To never linger

And yet it haunts me so
What are we letting go
Our spell is broken

Crashing down
Crashing down my friends

Crashing down
Crashing down again

Only love
Yeah only love
Will be enough
Yeah only love will win

For every chemical
You trade a piece of your soul
With no return

And who you think you know
Doesn't know you at all
Their drain is needless

Someday we'll wave hello
And wish we'd never waved goodbye
To this romance

We'll drink up every line
And shoot up every word
Till there's no more

Crashing down
Crashing down my friends

Only love
Only love can win

So cry these tears we'll cry as all
We've held so long to fall apart
As the curtain falls we bid you all goodnight

when I lose control
when I fall apart

I will always know
that you will be there to catch me

nothing used to bother me
until you came along
now there is something missing
an empty space I cannot fill myself

Screamed into the air
Punched a wall
Threw a chair
Broke a window
Almost grabbed the knife
Then cried my eyes out

the path I need to follow
is more like an open field

a directionless plain
with no end in sight

moving forward blindly
will only end in pain

so someone please
tell me where to go

It's been good for a while
Isolated, away from the pressures.
But now i can barley hold back tears
As I am flung back into this social spiderweb

even though I'm in a slump
I just want to tell you
it's not your fault

it's not your fault I came to you
it's not your fault you are heartbroken
it's not your fault you crushed me

Laying on the bed
Tears running down my face

I'm listening to music
But it does not fill the hole In my heart

*I need you here

you are the person
that I want to be with

but you are also a friend
that I do not want to lose

I am stuck in between
and I don't know where to go

I keep telling myself
just wait a little bit longer

I'll probably end up fine
I just need to wait a little it longer

I think I'm starting to crack
but I only need to wait a little bit longer

I don't know how long I can wait
but I will be fine

I just need to wait a little bit longer

I am wandering in a dark ave
lost, confused, and nowhere to go

but wait, is that a light?
a way out of the darc and the gloom?

I run towards the light as fast as I can
ignoring everything that passes by

as I get closer, I see that it is not a way out
it is only the faint shimer of a shining rock

now I am still stuck in the cave
more lost than ever

I do not like masks
as they hide the truth
as I am left guessing
and I keep guessing wrong

I understand
that many wish to hide
their own bitter thoughts
behind their own mask

I use it too
but did I use it too much?
now am I too scared
to ever take it off?

no matter how much I plan
no matter how much I think
there is always something unexpected

every idea I have, there is a flaw
every plan I think of, there is a complication

but that's not always bad, right?

I am lost in a maze of thought
Even when things seem normal outside
There is too much to think about inside

Every feeling is meaningless without thought
The more you think, the more you feel
And yet the deepest thoughts are made from feelings

Thought is an ever-growing puzzle
You find and put together piece by piece
But the picture just keeps getting bigger

to this day, I clearly remember
all the silly things I've done

every day holds a new reminder
of all the silly things I've done

many times I seriously regret
all the silly things I've done

many times I wish to forget
all the silly things I've done

I no longer wish to justify
all the silly things I've done

I want to go back in time
to stop the silly things I've done

every day I get the feeling
that I am invisible
sitting alone every day
and knowing I'm left out of the loop
and sometimes just thinking
what I could be doing with other people
when I'm actually just sitting here
wishing someone would walk up and say "hi"

in an instant
just for an instant
I have a distant feeling
of the carefree past

but just as fast as it comes
it disappears
leaving me stranded in reality

Thank you
for everything you have done to help me

without you
I would be lost and confused

Thank you
for listening to my problems
and understanding my feelings

Thank you
for never being angry
even when my feelings reached for you

Thank you
for helping me when I needed it most

moments like this
when we talk as friends
it's the one time
that I am not worried

although it will be gone tomorrow
for now, I'll hold onto the feeling

every time I see you
I'm torn on the inside

I wish I could just get in a rocket
and fly away

living in the light
where every mistake is public

I just want to go back in the shadows

let me hide in the woods
where no one can see me

let the dark clouds come
and block out the sun

spare me all the humiliation
and let me go back to hiding

Why do I get angry all the time?
I don't show it, but I really do have a temper
Is it because I am alone?
Secluded in my home whenever possible?
It the reason my knuckles still have wounds from the last wall I punched
Because I feel like no one understands?

the sun shines,
showing the sheen of the leaves
such is the beauty of spring

the pedals fall from tall trees
decorating they sky with pink and white
watching us from above
such is the beauty of spring

the warm breeze after the frigid freeze
makes me feel like I am flying
such is the beauty of spring

I remember when things were so simple
I lived life without worry
nothing could hurt me

but that was before
before life twisted on the outside and in
before I knew true emotion

to soar above the stars
or fall into the abyss
all it takes is one person

A boy knowing nothing
fell for the heavyhearted girl
realizing this love was in vain
he walked out a deeper person

A girl tender and innocent
crushed by a boy
longing and heartbroken
she walked out sorrowful


love changes you

good moments gone
bad times thrive
a true love lost
we all fall to despair

Earphones in, and that one song starts playing
Instantantly, the music sweeps me back
Almost a year ago

Around the time I started listening to the smashing pumpkins
Back when things were so simple
Just before I life started to get twisted
When people were people and not problems

The music continues to take me in
I begin to recall specific parts of my not so distant past
Back when I was listening to the same song after school
Completely unaware of what was to come

The song ends
I am immediately thrown back into reality
Lost and confused
Only hoping to make it another day

I cannot wait to go back
back to a place that is peaceful and serene
back to a place where you can briefly forget your troubles
back to the horses, cows, and open fields
back to the country

Just a castaway
An island lost at sea
Another lonely day
With no one here but me
More loneliness
Than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair

I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle [x2]

A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life
But love can break your heart

I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my [x3]
Message in a bottle [x2]

Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles
Washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone at being alone
A hundred billion castaways
Looking for a home

I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my [x3]
Message in a bottle [x2]

Sending out an SOS

even in the darkest despair
there is always a path to the light

everything torn can be mended
everything shattered can be fixed

through time and commitment
nothing is truly broken

an unsolvable puzzle in my head
because of missing pieces

my favorite nights
are nights like this

I can hear the wind
and feel the rain
and witness the clouds
storming away

the stars are gone,
covered by the sky
when I look up I can see
what's inside my mind

my favorite nights
are nights like these
where my thoughts
meet reality

I am traveling through a land
of secrets and hidden feelings

the road I walk is dark and silent
and I can't see the end

so many people around me
not one telling a happy love story
heartbreak left and right
I guess we are just having some hard times

every night when I am on my computer
why am I driven to tears?

it's not because I am lonely
it's not because I keep failing
it's not because I'm a fool

I cry because I cannot stand to see you suffer
I cry because you are hurt

I am in quite a dilemma
and it is all my fault

I fear that you avoid me
and I continue my assault

I hope I didn't cause trouble
in my foolish hopes for you

I blame me and only me
and you should blame me too

the rush of emotions used to be a thrill
the discovery of emotion I've never felt
but now I want to be over and done

I want to leave behind all my one-sided feelings
that keep me from reaching happiness

the day I finally think of you as only a friend
is the day I will be free

I'm sorry
for everything I did

I only wanted to help
but I messed things up for the both of us

I'm sorry
for making things even more confusing
I know you don't deserve it

I'm sorry

I did a lot of thinking in 2 days time
Wondering what and how it happened
And i still don't know

We were both mad that night
Or at least i know i was
Talking about a subject that haunted me for the last year.

What do i want to do now?
I want to erase that night
Think as if it never happened
And take back what i stupidly said

lost in an invisible maze
someone needs to guide me

that time has come once again
when I can finally walk outside
and enjoy the fresh air

the sights and smells long forgotten
the birds happily chirping again
spring is finally here

spades bear a pointed edge
and clubs are weapons of war
while many chase after diamonds
I search for my queen of hearts