It's been good for a while
Isolated, away from the pressures.
But now i can barley hold back tears
As I am flung back into this social spiderweb

I did a lot of thinking in 2 days time
Wondering what and how it happened
And i still don't know

We were both mad that night
Or at least i know i was
Talking about a subject that haunted me for the last year.

What do i want to do now?
I want to erase that night
Think as if it never happened
And take back what i stupidly said

Screamed into the air
Punched a wall
Threw a chair
Broke a window
Almost grabbed the knife
Then cried my eyes out

Teeth gritten
Fists clenched
Same song on repeat
"I hate everything about you"
Why is life so cruel?

Earphones in, and that one song starts playing
Instantantly, the music sweeps me back
Almost a year ago

Around the time I started listening to the smashing pumpkins
Back when things were so simple
Just before I life started to get twisted
When people were people and not problems

The music continues to take me in
I begin to recall specific parts of my not so distant past
Back when I was listening to the same song after school
Completely unaware of what was to come

The song ends
I am immediately thrown back into reality
Lost and confused
Only hoping to make it another day

Laying on the bed
Tears running down my face

I'm listening to music
But it does not fill the hole In my heart

*I need you here

just one moment is all it takes
one moment, sometimes less than a second
and you will need to live with that mistake
for who knows how long