when i met you, it was easy
we were young
love
what is that?
neither of us knew, but
we taught each other
and now we know

do we know?

four years together
would make it seem like
we do know what love is
after all, i love you
i loved you
do i still love you?

i think i loved you
four years ago
four months ago
four weeks ago
four days ago

but you see,
i met him
three days ago
and now i am not sure.
and
now you want me again
but only because
he wants me too

four days ago,
those three words
probably would have been enough

but four days ago
you were on my mind before i went to sleep

and now you're not

love
is not easy
to let go of

but how do you choose
between an old love
guaranteed
and a new love
maybe

it's too big a risk
and i'm afraid to make the wrong choice

my mom always told me i was lazy
she was right; i never wanted to clean my room
or make my bed
or do my homework
i just wanted to go on the computer
or watch tv
or hang out with friends
because i wanted to be happy
and doing chores didn't make me happy

so when i went to college
i didn't clean my room
or make my bed
or do my homework
all i did was go on the computer
or watch tv
or hang out with friends
because i finally was on my own and had the chance to be happy

but rather than getting happier, my heart got heavier
things went from okay to bad
and then bad to worse
and now i'm tired

mom, you were right; i'm lazy
there are things that i don't want to do
because they are too much work
like cleaning my room, making my bed, doing my homework,
and waking up tomorrow morning

i have spent so long
wrapped up, strangled by the ropes of my past
friends, relationships,
i have spent so long
caring about these people,
caring about what they think
thousands of miles between us yet
i can't forget
i have spent so long
missing them, crying
please come back
six months of the people
i used to consider closest to me
putting me through hell
just for their own sick enjoyment
i have spent so long
hung up on these *******
but i have spent so long
thinking about this,
that i've finally learned
how to let them go

faceless, nameless
who are you?
why do you hate me?
you really hate me.
******* with me over the internet
******* with my mind
do you feel pride?
does it make you feel like you're worth any more
than you were before?
because the joke, my gray friend, is on you.
i already hate myself
much more than you ever could

so stop hacking and typing away at
2:52 on a monday morning and just
let me be alone with my sadness
you see, you're doing it all wrong.
if you hate me, all you have to do is
let me be
alone with my thoughts and
i'll be gone long before anything you could
ever hope to accomplish
will affect me at all