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Devon Haley Dec 2013
Maybe i dont deserve love.
Maybe all the time ive spent
Staring at the second hand
On the clock waiting for love
Was wasted because the clock turned out to be broken.  
Maybe my other half just doesnt exist like a sock thats come out of the dryer and cant find its match.
Maybe God has just been shaking his head at me wondering why i act the way i do.
Maybe im just a mess who thinks too highly of herself and is too arrogant and sets standards too high therefore nulling and voiding anyone who could love me.
Maybe i have become so set on finding "the one" that ive forgotten the people in front of me (whoever they might be).
Maybe i dont deserve love because
I dont think i do.
And that is exactly what scares me.
Maybe i dont think i deserve to be loved.
Devon Haley Dec 2013
It's funny.
Innocence turns into tragedy within
Seconds.
Lighthearts and laughter
Turns into despair and quiet
Outraged sobbing.
What seemed so harmless
So serene and so happy
Ends with hands shaking and
Tears down children's faces.
A Christmas party turned evil.
A harmless cookie chewed by a 5th grader
Becomes lodged in his throat and
He struggles to breathe.
His face turns colors one only sees
In rainbows after the rain.
But the way I see it;
It' not going to stop raining for a long time.
The little boy,
The same age as my own brother,
Dies in the hospital.
His innocence taken from him just like that.
And I cant help  but think about his parents.
The Christmas presents they have to return,
The grief they feel as they tell their family that their little boy didnt make it.
Or about the little boy my brother is friends with.
The one at the party who didn't go to school yesterday.
The one who made the kid laugh.
The one who was so funny, made the kid choke on
a cookie and die.
I feel so much for these people.
How do you console an 11 year old who has witnessed death?
How do you not cry because you think,
That could have been
My brother...
The answer is- you can't.
That innocence is gone
And it can never come back.

I send all my hopes and prayers and condolences to his family and friends and everyone who knew him and was involved.
RIP A.W.
Devon Haley Dec 2013
I've missed this;
This thing called writing...

It creeps into my mind like a virus
And it seeps into my core as I absorb its kindness.

I never intended to stop this feeling I get of
Becoming myself when I write; it just happened.

Every night the virus clung to my lungs
And asked me to produce ****** poetry.

Just when I thought the pain was gone,
The silence would tear my heart apart.

I realized then and now that I cannot fill that void.
That void I feel when poetry is not present in my veins.

The doctors tried everything.

Observing my perplexing behavior and
My countless fits of crying and depression.

They didn't know that writing was still nagging me
to scribble my unending thoughts on paper.

Writing was one of my dearest friends.

He was always there when I needed to express myself.
In a way he was my shoulder to cry on or my happy sun.

Although I tried to **** him,
He forgave me and gave me another try at this thing called writing.

So here I am.  
I'm back from the literary dead.
And this is where I plan to remain.
Devon Haley Mar 2013
•••

If the clouds during the clearest skies
Come down and hug me as tight as they can
And whisper, "I don't want to let go."
They would have given me their love.

If I dropped a micro milliliter  of water
On the softest grass and something grew and grew
Until he promised,"I'll  always protect you."
He would have given me all his love.

If the moon and the sun were to talk
And they shined a secret path way to my future
Where they told me "go, be happy, be free."
They would have given me all their love.

If all of a sudden the Earth started to shake
And I felt myself falling, I'd scream until I found
A steady hand pressed firm against the small of my back,
It would be proof of his love given to me.

If he could sing me a lullaby in my ear
As we both lied next to each other on the floor and
He says in a hushed tone, "kiss me."
He would have given me all his love.


But
If I wait I can see there is no one in sight
I stand, alone, lost within my soul and with
My mind spinning as I crumble and burn
I realize, no one has given me their love tonight.

•••
Devon Haley Feb 2013
Average.
        A statistic.
     A normal percent of a population.
Nothing great...
                            Just average.
Typical
Common
Ordinary.
         Nothing special.

How can one overcome normal when being average is out of our control?

Hmm...

Being average is harder than one could predict.
Clawing one's way to the top only to realize that the top is only slightly above average and the true top would be classified next to the great minds of einstein and issac newton, of course.

Every one of the population considered average either accepts their fate or decides they could be better.
An even smaller amount of those average people have the courage and strength to hope there might be something...
                            Special about them and without even trying there could be something likeable and charming about them.       Maybe.

A typical kind of person
           Could grow tired of always flowing with the crowd and one day
        Change direction...

Who knows?
       Maybe just maybe we'd find on a different path a place where home can be felt by the presence of a stranger and love could grow on trees and in the spring, bloom.      Maybe.

Maybe average is harder than people realize.

Every one trying to stand out just a little bit and succeed!
Show the world who they are
What they can be and
How they will break everyones old expectations !
And maybe once be special..

Being average is hard work.
Sure, you had to work your way up to being above average and intelligent but you were born with that genetic upperhand of being smarter than everyone else, ya know.

And i mean the people who are below average harbor doubt in themselves and usually come to term with the fact they can do no better.

But the people who are average.
The people who are average just
Ache
To be special for one moment
And in that one moment they need
To find the one person
Who could make them feel special all their life.

These are the thoughts of a hindered mind.
Devon Haley Dec 2012
Today I write the saddest lines
Because today a nation is mourning.
Today we pray for the victims
Because today they are no longer with us.
Today we wait and listen
Knowing that the parents' children won't be coming home.
Today we realize the importance of teachers
And how we take for granted their sacrifices they make for their students.
Today we will remember not the name of the gunman,
But the names of the teachers who gave their lives
And the class of young children who won't see Santa this year.
So let us not forget what happened on 12/14/12
But also know that today is another day that hopefully we can move one step closer to justice
And peace.
May all those affected by the sandy hook elementary school shooting have the strength and the support they need to move on from this horrible tragedy. May the victims rest in peace.  <3
Devon Haley Dec 2012
Last night I fell asleep
In the arms of a dream.
Hushed by the quiet
Drumming of my heart.
I was caressed by gentleness
Of the comforter and the cream-colored sheets.

Last night I fell asleep
Not knowing if I would wake up.
In my mind I was startled
By the things unsaid and undone.
I was assaulted by my goals
Whispering to me what I needed to accomplish.

Last night I fell asleep
Exhaling my tears.
Inside I was screaming
And calling your name.
I was lost and alone
With no friend to call home.

Last night I fell asleep
With the hope of finding me.
In myself somewhere
I knew I existed-hiding.
I was called a wanderer.

"But not all those who wander are lost."
credit to be given to J.R.R. Tolkien
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