Promise me you will never stop holding on
be it to life or love or the great perhaps
never let go
Because the worst pain known to man
grows from the void of nothing
and I can't watch you hurt
because I love you in infinite bounds
that will never be matched
except by the love you can offer
once you love yourself

If it makes you less sad i'll **** myself now
why prolong it when I seem to hurt you with each breath
for what follows my inhaling is words and that is what pains you
because, as you said, I have no compassion

I know I'm awful and how dare I think otherwise
I will get bad again if it makes you better I will do that for you
anything for you my best friend because I do love you
though you think me stupid I am smart enough to know love

But not compassion, that thing you said I have none of
no compassion to speak of, just knives wielded upon you
just knives wielded myself
just knives wielded upon all
  
What can I do to say I'm sorry
should I always answer yes to all you ask of me
should I just not speak anymore
Would that make you less sad?

I just want you to feel good and I thought I was helping
I thought I was making you better by telling you what bad is
but it just made you very angry at me and now we're fighting
I should've known better than to try to tell you something

I am very sorry that I am so stupid
it must be such a burden for you, having me near
my stupidity clogging your pores
I am sorry I can't express myself without hurting you

So if it makes you less sad i'll take those pills now
nobody will stop me so why don't I
You would feel so much better without me
It could be so easy so why don't I

I wrote you a poem
how silly is that
since I know you will never read it
But it's for you
it spells your name between the lines
It breathes you in
and exhales my want

I was getting some coffee today when I saw you
this man who stared at me in such a way that I cringed
you frightened me sir, with the way you licked your lips
I could see you do so sir, I also saw the way your eyes raked my body
You were on the other side of the thin street, the side I needed to cross to.
I waited for you to move, but you did nothing
You just kept staring at me

I bought some leather pants today
pleather, to be exact
they were cheep, but what I wanted
They fit tight on my legs and loose on my hips
they cling to my nonexistent ****
and make me feel **** for the first time in my life
and  somehow they make me feel rebellious
and less invisible
If I wear them to school tomorrow will they all stare?
I hope so
I need someone to notice me

So there is this girl
whom I have never met
but she is beautiful
and I love her
for all I have made her in my mind
I have seen her picture
felt her soul
heard the words I wish she would say to me
God she is beautiful
and I want her
with every fiber of my being
I want her

Could I ***** us up more?
Doubtful my love
Seeing as you haven't noticed, i'll let you know;
I don't know what i'm doing

It's been seven or so months
Three break downs
one breakup
and one day where we got back together

I broke when we broke
I cried for you and for me
but for different reasons
I cried for me because I hurt you and you because you hurt

I only cried once for missing you
I felt it
I ate the feeling whole
But i only let it leave me once

So what does that mean
it means you should hate me
before I ***** us up worse
because, seeing as you haven't noticed, I am a bad girl for you.

I'll break your heart with the words I say
the honest ones that you hate
The ones that tell you we're so **** young
and the future is so far away

When I tell you i'm scared of long distance because,
lets face it, how will that work?
I'll see you once a month maybe while you're at college
with girls and boys who will want you

And I want you to want them so what does that say?
Should I think that while i'm your girlfriend?
I just want you happy and healthy and fulfilled
and I don't know how I can do that for you

Remember when we got back together?
The stipulation of it all?
You would wait for me to catch up to you
but i think you forgot about that

Or maybe it was a miscommunication
You thought those few days we weren't together
helped me to grow and prepare myself
for what you want as your eternity.  

But I don't want the same as you want for us
I want to pass my AP US History exam
and get a high A in math
and I would like to spend time with my best friend who hates you

And you want us to live happily ever after
but that vague notion isn't enough
it needs to be a plan, written out
a plan that sounds sweet but poisoned us once.

And if it comes back why do you think
it won't be poison again?
I can see you bringing it back to us now
trusting it all so blindly.

I love you my dear as far as i'm aware
though I have been told several times over
that what I feel is not love
i'm not even near to it yet

So if that is true, let me restate it;
I care for you the most that I can
the most I have ever
and the most I will for a while

I hope that is enough for you
because deities know I want you to be happy
And you say I make you the happiest you have ever been
so instead of letting that scare me, I will try to be flattered.