pressing the tight muscles of my shoulders
hard against the stillness of the air

leaning into the melody and out of it again

my fingers not unlike grasping claws
trying to pull music from
a dead thing
that does not love me
the way
it used to.

you have robbed me of my music,
of the words that would
flow in elegant waves from my willing fingers,
refreshing as water but not nearly as
cliche.

the melodies
that raised the veins in my neck
when i spoke them to the mirror
and the windshield,
that left me breathless
heart pounded
half-smiling
into the beautiful vortex of my
spired mind.


they're gone now.


and i'm left with a dead horse slung across both shoulders
and an albatross
around my neck.

Next door’s cat,
alone as they’ve gone away
on holiday,
slouched on the lawn,
our garden.

A monochrome tube
flops over, turns over,
liquorice eyes peer up,
a rolling pin
kneading the green.

Thinks it owns the place,
can lounge about
wherever it pleases
drizzled in June honey,
‘round ours for a week.

It knows when I am close,
a mewling baby,
rises like an overweight man
from an armchair
and asks to be loved.

You should know, bullying hurts.
It starts with one word, one word you blurt.
Fat, ugly, worthless. These are the words they hear.
Did you know, your their biggest fear?

Day by day you torment them,
it takes so long for their hearts to mend.
All they ask for is one true friend,
but you make them want their lives to end.

Everyday they wake up with regret,
all they want to do is forget.
It's not just hitting and punching, it's the words you say,
they hurt so much, they want to fade away.

This is when enough is enough,
they're sick of playing strong, sick of playing tough.
But they know they can make it through,
you may not have known, but they always knew.

They put on a fake smile and pretend they're okay,
they believe they can make it all the way.
Of course your words still offend,
but they have been pieced back together again.

Someone leaves the crowd and lends them a hand,
they learn that it's time to stand.
Their smile is no longer fake,
now they have no reason to ache.

You see, all they ever needed was a friend,
someone to stand by them when the bullying came again.
Now they are free,
the insults barely sting, don't you see?

The bully is never wanted, unless wanted to leave,
The person you bullied now has no need for long sleeves.
Your work here is done, not that it should of started,
now who's the one who feels broken hearted?

Bullying gave you power, that they refused to give,
you can't help but wonder ''what if''.
What if they didn't get so strong?
What if they were crumbled all along?

What you don't think of, is what could of been,
what if they pulled the razor to their skin?
What if you pushed them too far,
to where they tied a rope around their collar.

What if they wrote down all the secrets they had to spill,
right before taking an overdose on the pills?
You don't know what could of been done,
you were doing it all for fun.

You think they're losers, but they're stronger than you,
have you seen what they've been through?
With your words you gave a black eye,
they are leaving, bully, so say your goodbye.

But one more thing before you go,
did you enjoy my little show?
Remember, words can hurt more than the punch,
Believe me now? Cause this was just a hunch.

Embarked my usual train of thought,
raging hormones fight fiercely to win.
There you are now, vividly brought,
in pure thoughts full of sin

Tossing & turning in bed,
a typical lustful insomniac.
Tearing my blanket, pulling on a thread,
and watching the ceiling like a maniac.

I stare in empty spaces,
anxiously awaiting you now.
I'm going mad with your perfume traces.
I even smell it on my dress, I don't know how.  

I lay there restless for a while,
until i hear your voice.
You walk through the door to serenade me to sleep
I say "touch me." and you like that choice.

Bite me, I love when a lover misbehaves.
Breath me in the midnight heat.
Crush on me like the strong Pacific waves.
Come closer, come sense my heartbeat.

Sleep deprivation. We argue.
Over a lovers' argument,
You say "A million times I love you"
I say "Your love, is my lifetime accomplishment"

You lay a kiss, ever so adorning.
Slip into your dream as I slip into mine
and when we make it to the next morning
then darling I guess that's a good sign.

behind every smiling girl,
are the tears she’s been trying to hide
may there be times she wants to hurl
letting her pride down, she just let them slide.

sticks and stones, breaking bones
yet words seem painless, seem light.
those were the words she believes on;
battling her great weakness with all her might.

people may laugh, people may mock
repeatedly she says, “I’m fine, I’ll be alright”
as she lays in bed all alone, save for a clock,
she cries and cries as long as the night.

at first glance, she looks so strong
it was only to hide away her true self
she’s fragile, won’t stay sturdy for long
her feelings she stack up on her shelf.

so if you see a girl who smiles with glee,
remember that she’s in a battle, fights night and day
for you not to ask in worry:
“hey, are you okay?”