Can't keep pushing the pain away
Can't keep saving it for another day
Up in smoke, white washed and straight
I can't keep running from this bitter pain
It haunts me every waking hour
Looking for weakness, a place to devour
I'm so tired but can't slow down
The hurt is waiting all around
Walls enclosing
Shrieking sound
I looked for comfort
Numbs all I found
Chasing that first high
Reliving our old goodbyes
Torn up skin
Bloodshot eyes
Empty parking lot
Under the rain
I'm a fugitive
To this endless pain
So tired of running
I'm so insane
So tired of running
But when I close my eyes
It seeps in slowly
Churning in my mind

Sweet, calm, fear
Stinging in my wounds
I'm safe here
In these well lit rooms
Surrounded by people
Who care that I'm alive
Everyone's my equal
Just trying to survive
Morning routine
Laughter so sweet
Peace and harmony
Enveloped in winter's dream
I couldn't feel my heart
Glowing underneath my skin
Beating rays of light
Illuminating my ribs

Can't breathe through this pain
Closed eyes it's still the same
I'm caught up in the summer rain
Constant hurt through season's change
Pressing nails into filthy skin
Ripping me open and looking in
Bitterness seeping
Pitch black betrayal
Silent tears stitched mouths
Inaccurate portrayal
Forked path no direction
Easy living but I'm still stressing
Forked path, left or right
Arms around knees tucked in so tight
I'm screaming so loud surrounded by waves
No one can hear me beneath this hurricane
They say it's temporary, only for today
But I'm walking on these coals for 100 years straight
Burnt up heels crunching bones
I grit my teeth, that's how it goes
Slashing exes in my skin
I can't breath
I can't breath
Just want to live
I'm dying
I'm dying
Will I see you again ?
It's all my fault
I'm ******* sick
Leave
Leave
Run away
Close your eyes
I'm so insane
Leave leave
Run away
I don't need you
I'm okay

Sunset stained lightening
On a melting horizon
Swaying just slightly
To the thunders vibration
Rain drops dancing
Wistfully circling my pain
I stand in the storm alone
Crying underneath the rain

Missing those days
Back when seasons never changed
Every week was the same
In it's pattern I felt safe
Downward spiral
Sadness is viral
Unbound my skin from a leather back bible
Brushing shoulders with strangers
Embracing uncertain danger
Empty lighters and wire coat hangers
In love with the knowledge that this moment could be the end
There's so many people, yet none to call "friend"
Alone in this world
Yet everything's mine
Caught up in the storm
Unable to fly

I never loved you
And I won't suggest it so
You were in my moment
Then I simply let you go
I keep you on the outskirts
Of my weaving wedding veil
Don't you know that I'm a widow
And you're next on my trail

Islands of paradise basking in the sun
Situated on the horizon, untouched and un-run
Gazing out into the glow I see you and I
In the rustic smolder, where our loves still alive
I see the person I was meant to be
The shimmering dream vessel that encapsulates me
My ship sways lazily drunk on melancholy dreams
The glamour of this paradise is just a bitter tease
I see the light so bright but cannot feel it's warmth
I see it green and shimmering from your dock's shore
I raced against fate to capture the dream
I lost myself in the chase, and still it's all I see