The end of something beautiful
Is drawing near
And there's nothing we can do
To stop it I fear
We knew it was coming
Yet we let it creep up
Until it was screaming
Strangling us
I'm so afraid
A fear more than just change
I really want you to stay
I can't imagine a day
Without your smile
So wide and bright
Cheek to cheek
Innocent and light
For no reason more
Than unbroken joy
A joy that I'll always envy
Through eyes darting and coy
Oh God I'll miss you
And your little gifts
I wish I could have helped you
I wish I could have stopped this
Or was it simply inevitable
You've accepted it
And so have I
But it always hurts so badly
Saying goodbye

Breathing
Moving
Looking around
Doing all these things
Focus drowning out the sound
To identify one sense
Is to ignore the rest
I'm so overwhelmed
Done trying my best
Can't think straight
A world beyond my chair
A thousand miles of smiling eyes
Mocking me there
They're lined up in a row
Stepping aside as I walk
Eyes unmoving
They gasp and gawk
And I want to hunch over
I want to cry and scream
But I keep going
Because I guess it seems
It's not normal
To simply break down
To suddenly cave
And throw yourself on the ground
To bang your fists
Against your head
To tell a bystander
That you wish you were dead
All these things
In my dizzy mind
Screaming at me
All the time

Will I startle you
When you see me again
With fingers like twigs
Hanging onto a branch
Will you be afraid
To touch my skin
Thin as a sheet
Barely covering what's within
Will you gasp
When you see my face
Cheeks caved in
Eyes a sunken in disgrace
Will you even noticed
That I've changed at all
Will you even realize
How much of me is gone?

I don't get it
I don't understand
You could let go
But I still can't
Nothing to grab
In my needy hands
Ash falling down upon
Burnt, barren land
The buildings are empty
The people have gone
I'm lying in the street
Inhaling the calm
A silence so loud
It violently screams
Even in your absence
I'll never be at peace
I talk as if there's something to say
I act as if you're watching
Though you've gone away
But pretense gives me purpose
And in fantasy I live
Miscellaneous items
Just a small glimpse
Spinning
Twirling
Exhaling a thought
I closed my eyes for a moment
And upon opening you were gone

I had this dream
And you were there
And I was dying
But you weren't scared
I had this dream
That I was almost dead
But you weren't sad
You wanted me to rest
And I felt the warmth
Of your hand on my head
It was so hot it was cool
And I couldn't comprehend
But once I passed on
I truly realized
It was the energy of that touch
That kept me alive
I had this dream
That we both died
And in our graves
We both decided
To throw a party
With the worms
And ants arrived
In tiny swarms
I had this dream
That we were alive
And I was walking down a hall
Wishing to die
But my heart picked up
As I walked through the double doors
Because my eyes were fixated
On on that warmth
And the back of her head
Came into sight
Long dark curls
I almost sighed
In some sort of relief
I took a seat
It was lunch time
And I was beat
I had this dream
That I wasn't weird
And I didn't live in fantasies
And I wasn't held together by tears
And I wasn't weaving webs
Around my arms and legs
Then getting agitated and upset
When I couldn't move
*******
I had a dream
That there were eyes on your hands
And they were showing me
Some foreign land
Speaking in
Some foreign tongue
I now know to be
The language of love
I turned and grabbed
A safety pin
I opened it
And jabbed it in
The eye deflated
And began to bleed
And yet you still
Stayed close to me
I had this dream
Yet I knew I was dreaming
I still believe
Claiming to be done believing
Dreaming
Dizzy
Twitching
Life
Spinning around
Leaving me behind
Spiders crawling
Over my skin
Into my nostrils
Breathing them in
They're making their webs
Inside my lungs
They're laying eggs in my heart
Then I woke up

I don't know
What I want you to know
But I want you to know
Something
So I'll keep
Tossing rhymes about
Hoping you'll understand me
Who are you
And what am I?
Empty feelings
In disguise
As something much more
Than what they are
Searching for meanings
In glowing stars
Can't we just accept
That they twinkle and shine
Instead of wracking our brains
Wondering why
Just lay back
Under the sky
And for once
Just once in our miserable lives
Inhale the miasma
Of a world dying

There are those who live in the moment
And those who chase it
Legs burning
Heart pounding
Worthless races