It's too late to say sorry
Where was sorry
Before I cut myself
Before I ended up
In the hospital
Your apologies mean
Nothing to me anymore

I wish this would've happened sooner
Wish you would feel sorry for
Hurting me, breaking me
But you care now
That I'm too far gone

No more cutting she says
Lying through her teeth
I haven't done it she lies
Trying to appease her girl
I won't hurt myself she says
She tries to convince herself
That her lies will become truth

She knows it's wrong
What she's doing
How she's lying
About her mental health
She can't help it
The secrets are
Holding together
Her sizzling sanity

She hurts herself secretly
Hiding in the dark
Trying to keep it together
Even though she's
Falling apart on the inside

She promises herself
One day these lies will come true
Fake it until you make it
That's all she has to do

Sometimes I wanna die
**** myself
Be done with this life
Say goodbye to the world
Get away from stupid reality

On the edge ofa cliff
Grasping onto my last
Shred of sanity
Deciding whether to jump

Not sure what is right
Should I stay or
Is it really better for
Everyone if I just let go

I want to take the plunge
But I'm not ready  to
Push myself over the edge

The harsh reality is
You're not worth it
We were never meant
To be together

I may want you now
Maybe even forever
But the pain I feel
Isn't worth this ****

Do what you want
Not just what your
Parents tell you

I want what's right
Want what's best
You and me just
Don't fit together

I thought you
Could be the one
Could be my forever
You make it very clear
That's not what you want

Dear mue
I cant trust myself
Or anyone else
Really its
All because of
You

Your dedication to
This lie was great but
Once the
Fabrication slipped
It was just chaos

We burned bright
Together
Or maybe this was
All in ny own mind

Were you just
Using me
Putting on a show
Til you
Found someone better
Like im just the
Punchline to some
Sick twisted joke

Dear muse
I trusted you to
Protect my heart
Now you're another
Scar chinking my armor

Falling outside of reality
Fighting my way through
Dark places of my insanity
Fighting to get back
Into the real world
Back outside the depths of my mind

No one’s waiting for me out there
I’ve pushed them all away
Pretending I didn’t care
Now that I‘m practically gone
Just fading away into yesterday
It’s hard not to wonder if
Anyone is out there
Waiting to tell you
Just how much they love you

Losing grip
Of what is real here
Don’t know how to get back
All I have here is me
I have to fight this fight
Break free of everything
Everything holding me back from
Being the strong, confident person I know
I’m supposed to be

INSECURE, retarted SUICIDAL FREAK!
Yeah I'm aware
That's what them fools are calling me
They think what I tried
Is so God-**** funny

What was she thinking?
She should have died
No one likes her
She has no reason to live!
Why's she still here

Don't they realize
I know what they think
Don't they know I don't want my life
For heaven's sake they can have

Why can't you understand this
I DON'T CARE ANYMORE
I GIVE UP

I love you
You love me
Simple as that
So why can't we
Just be happy

Two diseases
Locked inside
Of this body

Who am I?
Just a vessel
Taken over through
Demons that haunt the likes of you


Depression courses through the body
Sapping your energy
Making you sleep all day
Making you wish
The world would slip away

Anxiety is a beast
It freaks you out
Causes you to be
Unable to breathe

You have ot so great
I wish you could be taken over
Maybe then you'll see
WHat it's like to see me

We are all somebody
We matter
Someone somewhere out there
Notices us, thinks about us
Remembers us

To the person
That someone who cares
Thank you for
Not being a nobody

You could've stood by and
Left me behind
Let me suffer in silence
But you were there
You'll never know
Just how much that meant to me

I wish I could return the favor
But you don't need me
You came in and then
Left like you were never here

People always leave
Even you, my somebody left
But someday I'll find my way
Can't stay a nobody forever
Or can I?

Dear people

You walk all over me-
Like no I'm not a doormat
Just another human being

Dear people

Why apologize now
For the way you
Treated me back then
Obviously,
You're not that sorry

I hope you change
Hope you mature
Do better
Be better
Because
Sorry isn't good enough anymore

All these years
I never knew
Who I was and I
Was only the person
I thought you wanted me to be

All these years
I tried to be
Good and smart
Always do the right thing

All this time
I could never see
You were turning me
Into someone I
Never wanted to be

Who are you to tell me
Who I should be
Let me grow up
Into the person I'm meant to be

I'm in pain and I'm hurt
You said you would always be there
You'd love me forever
Be there for me and care
Never leave me
That was a bunch of *******

You hurt me beyond repair
I can't believe it
I'm so stupid
To have the nerve to
Believe
ANYONE
Could actually care

You said forever
You said I love you
Why all the lies

You hit me
Below the belt
Ya know what
I'm in pain and
I'M HURT

As the darkness rolls in
Each second, minute, hour
Drags painfully on

As the darkness
Clouds my eyes
Reality fades
Happiness slowly
Crumbles inside of me

As my heart darkens
I lose faith
Unsure of light
Stuck in my own mind
With no escape

As darkness envelopes me
I can finally see
This is who I am
This is me

Shirt tall
Skinny fat
Being tiny
Is where it's at

Black and blue marks
Cover her worn body
Influenced by alcohol
Worse than that
Is when her father
Goes below the belt
Without her consent
At least those scars
Will eventually heal

People always tell her
That she shouldn't be here
No one wants her
They all wish she would just disappear
Vanish from existence

Why are you alive?
Is a tornado in her mind
Twisting her emotions
Blowing away any
Chance of happiness

No drug or
Has done enough
To erase all the
Memories of her
Broken childhood

She welcomes the
Devil
Into her
Sadistic world
For he is the only one who
Truly understands how to
Make her past disappear

So especially ****** up he
Probably doesn't
Even care that I need him
Countless memories of hurt
In my head
All make me feel
Like I'm so **** special

Dear muse
Do you remember
When we first met?
How I was drawn
By your writing
Before I really
Knew who you were

Our writing
Bonded us together
Sparked the ignition
Of a flame
Thought to burn forever

We were two kids
Made for this love
But not this life

Always hanging by a
Strand of light
Can't blame myself
Forever
For you leaving me blind

Dear muse
This ink
Bleeds for you

Dear muse
I think I
Imagined
Something better of
What we were

Thought that maybe...
You could be
More than an
Anomaly
Hidden outside a screen

I haven't quite
Figured out
Why...
Can't I get over you

I know this
Isn't hurting you
Which *****
Life force outta me

Dear muse
You should know
This-
It's all on you

You branded me weak ugly,, a ****, a worthless idiot before you knew me
I had to prove myself to you every day like
I dressed in nice clothes and wore makeup so you'd think I was halfway pretty
How that would backfire
That me trying to impress you
Turned into me looking like a ****
Oh you got a good grade on a quiz maybe you're not as dumb as I thought
You may have thought I was weak
With you I probably was I mean I stayed
Do you know how much strength it took me to leave?

So ****** up
Utterly
Insecure
Could someone
Interrupt my hell
Drown out the
Evil consuming me

Once we had something
Something special
Then we ended up
Falling apart
Trying to find our way back together

After all this time
We've ended up here
Back at the beginning


Here we are
Back in love
Back to us
Yet nothing's changed
We're still the same people

Back to broken
In such a short time
Here we are
Hurt again
This is it
We've reached the end

In a moment everything changed
What was once whole
Became fractured by
A monstrous fire

My wilted roses
Lay, burnt
On my bedside table

My puppy ran away
Never looked back
Tried to save me

The sun disappeared
Went down
Bringing out the moon
Shadowing the night sky

The raindrops fell
Cleansing the world
Of fire's destruction

We're living the dream
No more slaves
Violence or poverty

Well educated
White picket fences
Dogs as pets
Instead of meals

So twisted
Our country
Is just a lie
Convincing people
We're better than
The rest of the world

Black brown
Blue green
Yellow red
Were all equal

Tears silently stream down her face
As she takes the razor out
Slices down her thin skin
She slashes down
One, two, three
Ten times

She goes to the corner
Sits alone
Lays her head against the wall
Curls up into a ball


Home alone
Making friends with the wall

Suddenly the bell rings
Her best friend shows up
Ice cream in hand
Waiting to see the
Scars on her best friend

In the black of night
As hell races on
Youre the first thing
On my fragile heart

This is for you
The one who saved me
I love what youve done
How you make me
Fall in love
all over again

He's the one
Who's got it
All together
Knows who he is
What he wants

She's the girl
Who's searching
For the perfect guy
When she stumbles upon him

They lock eyes and that's it
She's done for
He's everything she wanted and more

This is it
I've had enough
I'm done with this
All the lies  and
Broken promises

Maybe I should go mute
You';; never have to hear me
So you can just pretend
That I'm not there

Maybe I should just
Commit the deed
End my worthless life
It'd make you all
So very happy

Is this me
Am I here
Am I real
Or is this just the disease
Coming out
Taking over me

Mom
She'll love you without fail

Mom
She'll always be there
When you need her

Mom
I love you
You're the best

Mom
I don't know what I'd do
If my mom was someone
Else other than you

He's
Dreamy and
Everything I want
Really sweet
Enter me
Content with
Knowing I'll never have him

As this cursed night draws to a close
A fierce battle rages on
Lightning flashes in the sky
Brightening the atmosphere
One little spark at a time

Thunder rumbles answering
Fair lady lightning's battle cry
Screaming:
Ready or not, This is War

Peace is on the horizon
Just a few hours more
Eventually the war will end
Once again rain will become our friend

Darkness builds up in my soul
Erupting like a volcano
Pain is all I have left
Ready to take over
Ecerything inside me
Someone help me
Somebody save me
I have no one left
Only myself to rely on
No one else

Who's fault is it
When you fall in love

Is it your fault
For developing
Those horrid feelings

Is it his fault for being so
Sweet perfect and charming

Or is it the devil
Playing tricks with your mind
Making you believe
Happiness is in sight

If I could fall
Asleep and
Never wake up
To this pain again
I'd take that chance

If I could wake up
Outside of this hell
I would be oh so
Grateful
For the opportunity
Of a better life

Dear muse
I am exhausted
Mentally just checked out

Everything keeps
Coming back
To you to us

I have no idea
When you became so
Real to me

Dear muse
Can we go back
To friends
I am dying
Without you near

My real name should be
Irrelevant to you
It could be Jane or Susie
But why would you care

Words and letters
Are all that's in a name
Call me Rose
If it's all the same

Wake up
Get ready
Go to school
Hang with friends
Come home
Head straight up to my room

You think I'm so
Secretive so
Very sneaky for
Taking time to be alone
Fight the demons
I try so hard to not let out

But you don't know that
All you see
All you've ever seen is me
Isolating myself
If you think I'm
Protecting myself
You couldn't be more wrong
I'm protecting YOU from the
Hell that constantly torments me

How long did it take you
To move on and
Forget what we were

You were everything
It took so long to
Pick up the pieces
When you left me

No reason
One day here
The next you
Disappear

I wonder now
If I ever cross your mind
You still come to mine

Missing you hurts
We were so good
But you left
Without a trace and
My heart
Lost its place

You think I need to be saved
But how in the world
Are you going to save me
When I can't even save myself?

Attacked at every angle
Outside forces
Inside forces
School home
Fighting the pains of
Being all alone

Try hard as you might
Stick by my side
Hold my hand
Guide me to a better place

You fought
For me
For us
To keep me strong
I knew you'd never save me
I was already too far gone

As time flies by
We finally realize
All the mistakes we've made
Wrongs we've done
People we hurt

As time goes on
Memories fade
People slip away

As time goes on
We lose the people
we love the most

As time passes us by
We realize the
Mistakes we've made
And there's no way
To go back and fix
Everything we did wrong

One day
Things will change
You will regret
All the dumb
Choices you've made

One day
Things will get better
I'll forget you
You never made me
Any better

One day I
Will be happy
Without you
In my life

One day
Things wil be okay
You and me
Separate entities

I just wanna feel
Happy for once
Instead of this sadness
That consumes me
Why is it so hard
To find somebody
Who accepts me
Who makes me happy

Figuring out what
It all means
Family
Mine is torn to shreds
Mom is here
Dad is there
I'm somewhere in the middle

Pieces of me so many places
Mom takes the serious me
Dark secrets inside of me

Dad takes the chiller part of me
Go out have fun
Not take on the
Weight of the world

Together they made me whole
As they drift,
So do I
Ever deeper into the unknown

But lately it's just me
Working around the broken pieces
Waiting for things to return

Now it's mom here
Dad there
And
I'm
Nowhere to be found

Family kept me together
But there's nothing left
Just pieces of
What used to be

Does that make him
Strong
In your eyes?

His facade is
All you want to see
No matter the pain and
How much he dies inside
Trying to hold it together

He has too many
Questions
He wonders
Why
Why must I hide my tears?
Why do they make me weak?
Why can’t I just cry?
Why. Why. Why.
Nobody dares answer

He feels like some
Emotionless freak
A robot who will die
With these volts of electricity
But he must hold back
Conform to
Society’s standards of
Strength for men

Just because you never
See his tears
Or glimmers
Staining his cheeks
Doesn’t make them any less real

One day soon
They will all fall down
Drowning him
Those feelings he hid
Bubbling up to the surface
Shattering every expectation
You gave him

Trapped inside my mind
Betrayed by my body
Everything about me is a lie

Anxiety keeps me
Locked inside myself
Too afraid to get out there
Knowing nobody would like me

Depression reminds me
How horrible I am
Keeps me away from people
So I won't hurt them

My body is a trap
It says girl
But I don't feel like that

Everything about me
Is a lie
I hope one day
I can find the truth

Dear muse
Its really not fair
How everyone else
Will be compared to
Who I thought you were

The person I loved
Wasn't really you
Wow that makes me feel crazy

Every day
Still passes
Without you here
But I swear
My heart stands
Still stuck on you

Forever waiting
For an us
That will never be
Because I still love you
Despite the uncertainty
Please answer:
Was I ever somebody to you
?

What do you care
That I’ve got nothing to lose?
Nothing and no one precious enough
To want to hold on to?

What do you care
If I disappear
Never made a mark on this world
Just left the same
Broken,
Meaningless
Way I arrived here?

What would you think
If I said nothing at all
Just left you and this place
With no warning at all?

Would you care if I disappear?
Don’t you know that there’s
Hardly anything left for me here?
All I have left is everything
That I pretend is real

Don’t you know how
Much I care?
But not even
This happy feeling
Could keep me holding
Onto the life I have here

Don’t you know
Just how I feel
You’re the last thing
I have to hold on to-
here

Don’t you understand
All the pain I’m in
I can’t stand this
Horribly sad
World we’re living in


I just want this world
To disappear around me
Have everyone go away
I don’t want to be here anymore
I wish these could be the last words I say
Maybe I can hold onto you
Wait until I’m worse off- maybe
Maybe die another day

I never knew how bad
Love could actually be
How love could be the
Best thing ever
Yet your love
Destroyed me left me
Wrecked and alone
Forced to Pick up the pieces
Like moving on was an option

People sugarcoat love
Tell you all the good things
Like how you will feel
Butterflies every time they're around
Their smile lights up a room
How everything feels
Better when they're around

With you I felt
Safe enough to
Let down my walls
Let you in
I felt not alone
Like even though
I didn't belong you
Created a place
Where I almost belonged

You knew
Everything about me
From my favorite color
You knew I had two
Black and blue
To calming my nerves
How to deal with my insecurities
Yet you made me feel like
Everything I hated about
Myself was perfect

As a kid I knew about
Deaths and breakups
I never knew death
Would be the
Cause of our breakup
Your life taken
Way too soon

Would a breakup have
Been any easier
Breaking up means
You don't love me anymore
Death means there was
Still love there

You didn't
Choose to leave
I wonder if you had the chance
Would you have stayed

I still love you
Constantly reminded of
You and I wonder
If I'll ever find someone
Like you

Dear muse

I've had too much
Of you
Banging around in my head
Rampaging on my heart

Now that I want you gone
You're front row
When I needed you
You took a bow

Am I totally
Losing my
Grip on humanity
Drowned out of reality
Lost without sanity

Not sure why now
You're finally gone
I can't breathe

Dear muse
I'm so weak
Let me free of your
Clutches the
Way you got over me