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Jul 2013 · 384
For my crush
Desert Rose Jul 2013
In the black of night
As hell races on
Youre the first thing
On my fragile heart

This is for you
The one who saved me
I love what youve done
How you make me
Fall in love
all over again
Jun 2013 · 505
Cliche
Desert Rose Jun 2013
Roses are red
Violets are blue
This is my poem
It's all for you

You are my achilles heel
A man after my own heart
Your love is my drug
It caught me off guard
Now my heart is yours
Forever and always

This is the calm before the storm
The day before the night
We have each other
So let's enjoy this moment

Winner take all
So take my heart it's yours to keep
As long as you don't let me fall
Jun 2013 · 699
An ode to my internal tears
Desert Rose Jun 2013
Sitting here all alone
Waiting for somneone
To be there for me
Tell me they care about me

I'm so scared
That I'll be forever alone
Useless, worthless
Thast's all I'll ever be
Maybe you'll care for the
Ghost of me

On the verge
Edge of my
Thin line of sanity
Silently crumbling
Fading to grey

Silly me
Thinking this could work
Someone could care
I could be happy
Silly me actually believing
Someone could want me
Jun 2013 · 864
The purge
Desert Rose Jun 2013
Insanity ingrained
Deep inside the soul
Taking root
Sprouting inside your body

SPreading through your veins
Overtaking your life
Someway it's got to come out

It bubbles inside you
Rising to the surface
It's a burning so you
Decide to let it all out

You slip into the bathroom
Lean over the toilet and
Stick your fingers down your throar
It burns coming up but
Finally you are at peace
Knowing your demons
Have yet to get the best of you
Jun 2013 · 432
Depression and Anxiety
Desert Rose Jun 2013
Two diseases
Locked inside
Of this body

Who am I?
Just a vessel
Taken over through
Demons that haunt the likes of you


Depression courses through the body
Sapping your energy
Making you sleep all day
Making you wish
The world would slip away

Anxiety is a beast
It freaks you out
Causes you to be
Unable to breathe

You have ot so great
I wish you could be taken over
Maybe then you'll see
WHat it's like to see me
Jun 2013 · 379
Me or the Disease
Desert Rose Jun 2013
This is it
I've had enough
I'm done with this
All the lies  and
Broken promises

Maybe I should go mute
You';; never have to hear me
So you can just pretend
That I'm not there

Maybe I should just
Commit the deed
End my worthless life
It'd make you all
So very happy

Is this me
Am I here
Am I real
Or is this just the disease
Coming out
Taking over me
May 2013 · 536
Suicide Note
Desert Rose May 2013
Dear...
This empty space
Who cares about me

This is finally it
The end that I've waited for
I've been so far gone
For way too long

Everyone around me
Much better off
Without me in their lives
Will be happy to see me gone

Sorry that you had to
Find my body this way
Torn and broken
Waiting to decay

When I'm gone
Don't miss me
I'm always here
A sliver of
Broken memory
May 2013 · 277
I wish
Desert Rose May 2013
I wish you'd all let me go
Be free of all this pain
Because everywhere I turn
I'm the reason someone else is hurting

I want pain, to hurt
Bring the blade upon my
Fresh weak skin

I wish you'd let me go
Get rid of those soft
Fragile strings to a
Broken human being

Takes a gun out
Aimed at my head
Tries to shoot myself
Kills the world instead
May 2013 · 260
I wish
Desert Rose May 2013
I wish you'd all let me go
Be free of all this pain
Because everywhere I turn
I'm the reason someone else is hurting

I want pain, to hurt
Bring the blade upon my
Fresh weak skin

I wish you'd let me go
Get rid of those soft
Fragile strings to a
Broken human being

Takes a gun out
Aimed at my head
Tries to shoot myself
Kills the world instead
Desert Rose May 2013
I don't know what to do
My heart's a mess
While my head's trying to
Convince me it wants you

I'm so connected to the
Heart of you
Want to stay
Pushed to go

Split in two
Do I want you?
I left you
But I still care
My heart's torn
I'm so gonna regret this later
May 2013 · 8.8k
Caring
Desert Rose May 2013
How do you explain caring
Worrying about someone?
When your heart stops
When they're gone
Your heart goes out to them
All you want is to save them?

Everytime they're gone
You worry, wonder
What are they up to?
Hope that in time they
Will come back safely
Into your arms
May 2013 · 732
Barnes & Nobles
Desert Rose May 2013
Far away from inside myself
Watching this prosperous land
Sitting in front of me
With people sipping lattes
Plugged into a virtual reality
All seems so surreal

Children rush through
Shelves filled with
Memories of far out places
Losing themselves within
Someone else's stream of consciousness

Every day I wish that
I could fit in this
Bubble with the rest of you

At the end of the day
As the lights fade
Lonely pages are stuck
Waiting for someone
To give them a purpose
Apr 2013 · 794
Abuse
Desert Rose Apr 2013
Time will never heal
All the pain you've caused
All the times a river
Flooded down my cheeks
Right through my innocence

Our black and blue past
Will never fade to grey
All the times the belt
Slammed into my back
Your fists grabbed my hair
Killed my pleasure

The future won't change
What you've done to me
How much you hurt me

This is goodbye
Not just for now
Bot forever
Apr 2013 · 422
HURT
Desert Rose Apr 2013
I'm in pain and I'm hurt
You said you would always be there
You'd love me forever
Be there for me and care
Never leave me
That was a bunch of *******

You hurt me beyond repair
I can't believe it
I'm so stupid
To have the nerve to
Believe
ANYONE
Could actually care

You said forever
You said I love you
Why all the lies

You hit me
Below the belt
Ya know what
I'm in pain and
I'M HURT
Apr 2013 · 929
Sorry
Desert Rose Apr 2013
Sorry that I'm not worthy
You trusted me to
Stay strong
But I failed all of you

I'm sorry that I can't be there
At least not for now
I wish I could help you
Make it through the pain

I'm sorry I cared about you
That you meant a lot to me
Yet it was too easy
For you to let go of me

I'm sorry you never cared
I was a joke, some bet
You never really cared about me

I'm sorry I'm me
A mess a mistake
One huge ******
That you wish would go away

Sorry I didn't die at birth
Like I was supposed to
That woulda caused less problems

I'm sorry I'm here
Maybe I should do what's right
Go away and disappear
Apr 2013 · 778
Break up
Desert Rose Apr 2013
Best friends
Fall for each other
Try to go out
Dating doesn't work out

They break up
Yes, in this story
They remain friends
Apr 2013 · 5.3k
Turtles
Desert Rose Apr 2013
Poor little creatures
Stuck inside your shell
At least you get a choice:
Shall I stay in
Or should I come out?
Apr 2013 · 306
How easy it was
Desert Rose Apr 2013
How easy it was for him to fall for me
How easy it was for me to get attached
Put my faith and trust in him
End up falling in love with him
How easy it was for him to hurt me
Turn away and forget all about me


Yet how hard it was
For him to stay in love
Get a ring or go
Down on one knee
At the very least
Prove he loved me
Apr 2013 · 532
Emotionally drained
Desert Rose Apr 2013
Feelings going all around
One hour its up
The next three it's down
Emotions flying around town

This is me
This is real
Please don't tell me
How I should feel
Mar 2013 · 1.0k
Demons
Desert Rose Mar 2013
Demons lurk in the depths
Between your heart and mind
Taking over control
What’s on the inside

Scars
Cover the insanity
Coursing through your veins
Death, blood, war
Flood your brain

The demons inside hurt you
Break your soul down
You’re stronger than them
Strong enough to
Free yourself of this nightmare

Drown them all out
With the sounds of
Birds chirping
Alarms going off
Before scattered buzzes
Drive you past
INSANITY

Life peels the energy
From your decaying body
Slowly taking you away
It's taking you away
Guess that means
You're too good for this
Pathetically cruel wasteland
I wrote this for a friend of mine.
What do you think
Mar 2013 · 868
What do you know about me
Desert Rose Mar 2013
This is just another
****** day that
I'm forced to get through

Nothing matters
It's all the same
Going day by day
Knowing that all
People know about me
Is my name

There's more to me
Than my name and my
Slightly ****** attitude
Not that any of you would know
You never took the chance to
Learn my story
Mar 2013 · 280
I want Out
Desert Rose Mar 2013
I just want to get out here
Change my mind
Be someone else
Know what it's like to be normal
Not be stuck like this...

Death would be okay
At this point
Drunk, high anything
Would make me feel better

I wish you could help
Bring me back to this earth
Instead of my mind
Dragging me to hell
Mar 2013 · 446
The deep end
Desert Rose Mar 2013
Sometimes I wanna die
**** myself
Be done with this life
Say goodbye to the world
Get away from stupid reality

On the edge ofa cliff
Grasping onto my last
Shred of sanity
Deciding whether to jump

Not sure what is right
Should I stay or
Is it really better for
Everyone if I just let go

I want to take the plunge
But I'm not ready  to
Push myself over the edge
Mar 2013 · 780
I'm the Girl
Desert Rose Mar 2013
I'm the Girl
That will love you
Despite your flaws
Be there for you
Whether you're up or down

I will
Be there for you
Accept your insanity
Love you for
Who you are
I'm the girl
That will randomly tell you
That you're beautiful...
Just because you are

I'm the girl
That will be there for you
No matter what
Even if I'm giving up on myself
If you need me
I'm here to help

I am that girl
Who's a bit too
INSECURE
Maybe I'm
NAIVE
I am THAT girl
That girl is me
Feb 2013 · 406
Scars
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Black and blue marks
Cover her worn body
Influenced by alcohol
Worse than that
Is when her father
Goes below the belt
Without her consent
At least those scars
Will eventually heal

People always tell her
That she shouldn't be here
No one wants her
They all wish she would just disappear
Vanish from existence

Why are you alive?
Is a tornado in her mind
Twisting her emotions
Blowing away any
Chance of happiness

No drug or
Has done enough
To erase all the
Memories of her
Broken childhood

She welcomes the
Devil
Into her
Sadistic world
For he is the only one who
Truly understands how to
Make her past disappear
Feb 2013 · 752
Forever
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Nothing is worth suffering for
Especially not this life
Especially not after all that you did to me
Those thing’s I’ll never be able to forget
Like the life I used to lead
That had to be left behind
No it’s not worth suffering for
At least not the way I suffer
How I try to make it better
Nothing is worth suffering for anymore

It’s not easy to leave things this way
With so much left unsaid
But if I’m going to survive
It’s better  for me if I leave
Before you really do break me
Into a shadow of who I used to be
So the way it is now
Is the way it’s going to have to stay
Unless time takes the pain away

There won’t be any goodbyes this time
Because there’s really nothing left
That I need to say
About what you did to me
All the pain that you caused
I was so young
There was nothing I could do to stop you
When you never felt the slightest bit of remorse
You didn’t care at all
How much you changed the colors of the universe

You know how I felt
You knew you hurt me
You never had the power  
To make me stay
We both knew this wasn’t going to last forever

What you did is not okay
What you did is never going away
What you did I will carry with me
Like the weight of the world resting on my shoulders
What you did will define the rest of my life
What you did is something I will always remember
No matter how hard I try to forget
But no matter how bad it is
I refuse to be a victim

What you did made me afraid of you
Afraid of all people
Darkened my view of everything
You decided to create scars all over my body
That I had long ago imprinted on
Even when I did nothing wrong
You liked to scream and yell all the time
Yet your words weren’t your greatest weapon
Your words never hurt as much as your arms
When they repeatedly made those black and blue scars
That may heal on my body
Won’t ever heal from my brain

Nothing you did hurt as much as when you didn’t listen to me
When you wouldn’t listen when I said no
You had so much power
You were so much stronger
Nothing will ever be as painful as when you went down under
You crossed a line, crossed a boundary
Went a little too far
Took away the one special thing
Meant just for me
Took away an experience that was supposed to make me happy
Took away something special
That I was saving for a special somebody
You took away the one thing that was supposed to be MINE

You took away everything that was important to me
There’s nothing left of who I used to be
You changed me permanently
The damage you’ve done will never leave
I just really can’t believe
That I thought we were meant to be

All the scars are never going away
What you did is forever here to stay
In my heart
Those scars aren’t ever going to fade away


My heart is ruined
I’ve lost all hope
I’m not okay
But somehow you’re perfectly all right
All I can ask is now that I know you’re gone forever
Will that make me feel even a little bit better
Feb 2013 · 259
Didn't you Know
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Oh you
What were you thinking that time
Didn’t you know you’d always be mine
Why?
Why did you think I’d leave you
Didn’t you know I loved you too
Didn’t you know
I couldn’t live without you
If
You ever leave me again
Just know that there won’t always
Be another second chance
This time
I decided you were mine
That this time you’d  
Really changed and you’d
Be able to stay by my side
I will
Believe in you
Hold onto you
Do everything I can to show you
How much I trust you

Forever
Can’t be too far away
Hopefully you’ll be able to stay
Feb 2013 · 312
Do you see me
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Do you see me-
I mean the real me
Not this image I
Half-heartedly portray myself to be

Do you know me
Anything about what’s inside
Or the pain I go through
Each and every day

Who do you think you are
To say you know me
When everything you see is a lie
The truth isn’t something you want to hear
Feb 2013 · 327
Take Me In
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Take me in and hold me tight,
Let me stay with you through this endless night,
Don’t wanna leave; go away
Wanna sprout wings and fly away, just so long as you’re here to stay
Just wanna be around to here you say it’s gonna be alright it’s gonna be okay
Please I’ll do anything just let me stay
Hold me in your arms I promise you that I’ll never run away
Take me in and hold me tight,
Let me stay with you through this endless night,
Don’t wanna leave; go away
Wanna sprout wings and fly away, just so long as you’re here to stay
Trust in me and I’ll trust you,
I’ll do whatever you want me to
Never stray I know we’ll be okay
Feb 2013 · 1.2k
Forever, Still
Desert Rose Feb 2013
No one ever said
Forever would be easy
Past infidelities and abuse
They still carry around
Ghosts that still haunt them
While you still have your
Self doubt, anxiety, depression
Hidden away in those dark places of
Who you are and used to be

You accept their
Paranoid nail-biting nervous hair twirling
Impulsive pen tapping incessant gum popping
Greed indecision pride, nosiness, sarcasm
Deal with their
Stubborn, psychotic, drama queen
Multiple personality moments
Which are less than desirable
Parts you wish
Weren’t always there

Like when they’re sobbing so loud
It’s impossible to hear them
Or they get so scared
You have to talk them down Off the ledge
Backed so far into a corner
All they feel is the pain inside
They’re so weak
You have to hold them up
Support their weight
While the universe
Crumbles around them
When tricks become the truth
Mistakes that still remind us of forever

Still, most of love is in the fights
Arguments on the edge of rational
Cement your relationship in place
That prove being together is
Worth the pain

Sometimes small arguments
Like where to go or who pays for what
When you go out
Turns into a fight where
The tiger tears open a new wound, roars
MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!
Someone’s face turns into a ripe tomato
That needs to be picked
Smashed against the wall
Juicy pulp and seed
Splattering everywhere

Still, the black rose blooms
From the same seed
Scraped from the wall
Where it grows into a beautiful flower
That only guarantees
With a little care it can last
Forever, still
Feb 2013 · 438
Fighting for Sanity
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Falling outside of reality
Fighting my way through
Dark places of my insanity
Fighting to get back
Into the real world
Back outside the depths of my mind

No one’s waiting for me out there
I’ve pushed them all away
Pretending I didn’t care
Now that I‘m practically gone
Just fading away into yesterday
It’s hard not to wonder if
Anyone is out there
Waiting to tell you
Just how much they love you

Losing grip
Of what is real here
Don’t know how to get back
All I have here is me
I have to fight this fight
Break free of everything
Everything holding me back from
Being the strong, confident person I know
I’m supposed to be
Feb 2013 · 223
One Day
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Maybe one day
We will be more
Than just strangers
Who pass each other by
On the street

One day you will be
More than that boy
I look at from afar
Hoping that someday
You will notice me

One day we
Will be in love
Get married
Have babies

One day
With you
I'll be able to
Find the real me
Feb 2013 · 264
One Day
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Maybe one day
We will be more
Than just strangers
Who pass each other by
On the street

One day you will be
More than that boy
I look at from afar
Hoping that someday
You will notice me

One day we
Will be in love
Get married
Have babies

One day
With you
I'll be able to
Find the real me
Feb 2013 · 630
music
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Lost in the
Beat of the music
Helping me to
Lose reality
While finding myself

Heart beats to
The music
Making my
SOUL complete

Is this normal
That music is
Taking over me?
Feb 2013 · 582
music
Desert Rose Feb 2013
Lost in the
Beat of the music
Helping me to
Lose reality
While finding myself

Heart beats to
The music
Making my
SOUL complete

Is this normal
That music is
Taking over me?
Jan 2013 · 532
Just friends
Desert Rose Jan 2013
Are we friends?
More than that?
I don't know
Dude-
This is your call

So make your choice
Friends
Best friends
Dating

I'd rather be friends
Just friends
Having a boyfriend is
Too much for me


Just friends is
Fine with me
Just one thing
Don't hurt me-
AGAIN
Should I edit this? Is it good as is?
Likes... comments
Jan 2013 · 197
Untitled
Desert Rose Jan 2013
Your face is
Nothing more than a ghost
Haunting my memory

Why won't u go away
I don't want to be reminded
Of how you hurt me

I love you
Should never be said
Those words bite  

Don't u know
Ur words killed me
Jan 2013 · 237
Help me
Desert Rose Jan 2013
Help me
Save me
Get me out of here

I can't take it anymore

All these voices inside my head
Are lessening my resolve

I want to hurt myself
I'm going to hurt myself
Would someone just
Understand me please
Jan 2013 · 254
Help me
Desert Rose Jan 2013
Help me
Save me
Get me out of here

I can't take it anymore

All these voices inside my head
Are lessening my resolve

I want to hurt myself
I'm going to hurt myself
Would someone just
Understand me please
Jan 2013 · 211
Untitled
Desert Rose Jan 2013
This is not goodbye
Just a new Hello
Erin thinks as
She pulls the trigger
The bullet goes through her heart

As she fades away
Into the unknown
She can't help but be happy
She finally has a place to call home
Jan 2013 · 246
Untitled
Desert Rose Jan 2013
This is not goodbye
Just a new Hello
Erin thinks as
She pulls the trigger
The bullet goes through her heart

As she fades away
Into the unknown
She can't help but be happy
She finally has a place to call home
Jan 2013 · 970
Never good enough
Desert Rose Jan 2013
Emma lays her fragile hands
Onto her flat stomach
Head saying skinny
Mirror saying
Not skinny enough

Not skinny enough
Not skinny enough
Not skinny enough
Is all Emma hears

So she gets a toothbrush
Sticks it down her throat
So all the food
Not in her system
That she hasn't eaten in weeks
Flies out of her mouth

Tara cries at night
Her mother died when she
Was just a little girl
Her dad blames her
For her mother being gone

He can't deal with Tara
He gets wasted just to make
His poor little daughter's
Sickly pale skin
Turn into a mess of
Black and blue
At least he has yet to
Take away her innocence

Lily has to wear
Long sleeves every day
She's too scared
That someone will see
The scars that she
Creates on her own body

John is always drunk or high
Never a day
That he doesn't smoke ****

His dad beats him silly
Almost to no return
He needs something to
Take away the pain
Something to be numb

Dave has no way out
Scars cover his
Small teenage body

Medication?
That's a lie
It makes him worse
Want to die
So he takes his meds
Shoves them down his throat
To make it to a place
Much better than his
"home"
This is sad, and messed up and I'm sorry.
If you suffer from anorexia, depression, bulimia or abuse or anything, talk to me.
I'm here to help
Jan 2013 · 278
I love you
Desert Rose Jan 2013
You did something worse
Than causing these
Black and blue bruises to
Appear over my body

Worse than taking
My innocence away
At this point I wish
You would've popped my cherry
That wouldn't be as bad

You know what you did
This thing that was so bad
Worse than defiling
My fragile human body

You took away the
Three words that meant the world to me

Threw I love you in my face
Like it was a weapon
You win
You've taken my
HEART
Away from me

Goodbye will never
Be able to rid my mind
Of this terrible travesty
Jan 2013 · 486
Piece of my heart
Desert Rose Jan 2013
You and me forever
That was such a lie
You said we'd always be together
Boy you had all the right lines

You said I love you
So many times
Those words
Meant everything to me
They meant nothing, a
Sputtering river from your mouth

You meant the world to me
Built me up
When I thought no one
Would ever love this broken catastrophe

Now we're nothing
You're not my baby
There is no you and me

No matter what
You'll always have a piece of
This broken heart
Jan 2013 · 817
Don't come crying to me
Desert Rose Jan 2013
Please don't tell me
Not to hurt myself
It isn't that easy

Don't make it sound like
I'm not trying to stop
You're my friend
Obviously you see
How much I'm struggling

Maybe if I made
These terrible scars
On your arms
Instead of mine
You'd get addicted
See it isn't so easy to stop

Better I hurt you than me
***** please
We all know you were asking for this

Once you hurt yourself
Don't come crying to me
I tried to warn you
You didn't listen
Like I said
Don't come crying to me
Jan 2013 · 613
If you cared
Desert Rose Jan 2013
If you really cared about me
You'd be here for me
Now
When I'm breaking
Crying
Trying to fight off
Memories that hurt so bad
I might as well be dead

If you cared
You'd know
How scared I was
That I'm hurt

You say you care
You don't
I need you
NOW
Guess what?
YOU'RE NOT HERE
Please I need you
Jan 2013 · 440
Branded
Desert Rose Jan 2013
INSECURE, retarted SUICIDAL FREAK!
Yeah I'm aware
That's what them fools are calling me
They think what I tried
Is so God-**** funny

What was she thinking?
She should have died
No one likes her
She has no reason to live!
Why's she still here

Don't they realize
I know what they think
Don't they know I don't want my life
For heaven's sake they can have

Why can't you understand this
I DON'T CARE ANYMORE
I GIVE UP
Jan 2013 · 322
Not Broken
Desert Rose Jan 2013
I'm not broken
My hearts just shattered
Into a million little
Pieces of dust

Will you save me?
Put me back together
If there's anything left

My soul is still intact
There's hope
That there might be
Something left
Aug 2012 · 459
Hell
Desert Rose Aug 2012
It's storming, and your house is on fire
The power's gone out
The devil's at your door
Could you ask for anything more

Yet that was all
Your lovely imagination
What's going on here
Is much worse

Your parents are yelling
Dad's drunk
He lost his job
Taking all his anger out on mom

Mom's shaking
Too weak to fight back
Worst part is
You're watching this scene unfold
Wishing you had a way out
Aug 2012 · 607
No more regrets
Desert Rose Aug 2012
I wish I could say
That I've changed
All my regrets are
Ghosts of the past
That I've learned from all my mistakes

But I can't
I'm still just a kid
I'm growing up
Trying to find my place

I don't want to regret anything
Right now I regret you
You devil who
Built me up
To take away my soul

I'm not afraid of you
Anymore
There's nothing left
For you to take

So just goaway
Stay out of my life
Don't you see
How badly you've ruined ne
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