Sorry I'm such a bad friend
All my efforts to please you
Were never good enough

Sorry that
Every time you needed me
I dropped everything for you

When my heart was broken
I gave the pieces left to you

Sorry that you
Couldn't accept me
No matter what I did
You always put me down

And I'm sorry
It took so long for me
To leave the toxicity
That you caused me

Even on "good days" im still haunted
By the memories of the past
Creepy crawling up my back
I can hear their voices taunting me
Feel their faces close to me
People who hurt me
Still in the back of my memories

Even on good days
I am ****** into darkness
A void that never quite leaves
Whose grip refuses to release me

Even on good days
I cant help the
Wandering  thoughts
Drifting into self mutilation
I'm never going to be good enough

Even on good days
Im not convinced theres hope
No permanent change
No future worth fighting for

Even on good days i am
Surrounded by the poison
That clouds my mind
Yet somehow I stay here
Somehow I'm alive

Dear self,
You were so collected
For a really long time
But you have just disconnected
From reality
Hell that courses through your veins is
Bubbling up inside of you
Threatening to pour out and
Ruin the picture you've created

You're slipping
I can feel
Shadows of darkness
Poking holes into you

First thoughts:
"Why am I here?"
"I can't do this"
"I wish I had a blade"
"I want it to end"

But somehow
Those dark thoughts
While taking over
Don't totally ruin me

Self,
You are here.
You are clean.
You can do it.
​​​​​​​

Figuring out what
It all means
Family
Mine is torn to shreds
Mom is here
Dad is there
I'm somewhere in the middle

Pieces of me so many places
Mom takes the serious me
Dark secrets inside of me

Dad takes the chiller part of me
Go out have fun
Not take on the
Weight of the world

Together they made me whole
As they drift,
So do I
Ever deeper into the unknown

But lately it's just me
Working around the broken pieces
Waiting for things to return

Now it's mom here
Dad there
And
I'm
Nowhere to be found

Family kept me together
But there's nothing left
Just pieces of
What used to be

Tell me this isn't just in my head
I'm hanging on by a thread
To a dream of sanity
Where there's some clarity
Of what I should do
Can't wait forever for you
To change your mind about me
Who I am Who we could be

It means nothing at all
Waiting here for the fall
I'm stuck waiting for you
To be here for me too
Hanging on to lost hope
Barely able to cope

Could you save me
Help me become free
I wish you were here
I need you to be near

When im wothout you
There's nothing I can do

We are all somebody
We matter
Someone somewhere out there
Notices us, thinks about us
Remembers us

To the person
That someone who cares
Thank you for
Not being a nobody

You could've stood by and
Left me behind
Let me suffer in silence
But you were there
You'll never know
Just how much that meant to me

I wish I could return the favor
But you don't need me
You came in and then
Left like you were never here

People always leave
Even you, my somebody left
But someday I'll find my way
Can't stay a nobody forever
Or can I?

Everything about her
Was perfection
Her laugh her smile her nose

Love was all I
Felt around her
I never felt anything bad
Always safe and secure

She hated herself
Could never see
Beauty in her flaws

She never believed
When I told her I loved her
One day she
Stopped loving me
But she'll always
Mean the world to me