I had to make some
Mistakes to
Figure out who I am
My mistakes made me the
Person I am today

Growing up I was
Never a know it all
Didn't really know
I had a voice
When I found my voice
I was too afraid to use it

At school
I stayed silent
Let everyone speak
To me, for me, about me
Those people
Didn't even know me

At home
My voice was overpowered
By my siblings
Who knew more than me
I just let everyone else
Get their way

Always a follower
Never a leader
Maybe that's why
I had to act out to
Find my way

Even now
Using my voice is scary
My family tells me to
Speak my mind
They get annoyed when I'm silent
When I speak
They never want to hear it

I want to do right
But everything's wrong
How can I be sure
That I do what's best for me
Instead of what other people
Decide is best?

Growing up is hard
Making mistakes
Learning how to
Grow thick skin and
Get over your problems
Can be difficult when you
Never learned
How to like yourself

You branded me weak ugly,, a ****, a worthless idiot before you knew me
I had to prove myself to you every day like
I dressed in nice clothes and wore makeup so you'd think I was halfway pretty
How that would backfire
That me trying to impress you
Turned into me looking like a ****
Oh you got a good grade on a quiz maybe you're not as dumb as I thought
You may have thought I was weak
With you I probably was I mean I stayed
Do you know how much strength it took me to leave?

Poetry is like
Magic on the page
Using words to bring
Stories to life

Poetry taught me how
Music is a fraud
You don't need to
Repeat the same thing
Over and over
To get your message across

I never connected to music
The way poetry connected to me
It gave me an outlet a
Place I belonged

Music uses tricks to
Keep you interested
Instruments, chords, melodies
Poetry is made by the
Person who speaks it

Music is so straight forward
It's in simple terms
Poetry isn't all simple
You have to read between the lines

People usually
Get the same message from a song
In a poem there are many messages
Many ways to read and interpret

People can quote lines from songs
How many can quote
Verses of poetry?

Music is great though
I love music
Poetry is just
More important to me

In my poems
I am free to
Be who I want
I am free to
Be who I am

Trapped inside my mind
Betrayed by my body
Everything about me is a lie

Anxiety keeps me
Locked inside myself
Too afraid to get out there
Knowing nobody would like me

Depression reminds me
How horrible I am
Keeps me away from people
So I won't hurt them

My body is a trap
It says girl
But I don't feel like that

Everything about me
Is a lie
I hope one day
I can find the truth

To the people who say gay is a choice
Who make fun of people who are gay
Ignore them, push them into lockers bully them
To the ones who **** them ****** them
You should do it: you should all be gay
I mean you can choose that right?
All the pain and humiliation you caused someone else
The days spent crying hiding who you are
Like they wanted someone to point out it was different
Say who they are is wrong
They chose that life
So why don't you just try

I once told my mom
I wanted to be a boy
She, of course
Thought it was a joke
Because how could my
Feelings possibly be legitimate

She was like
Just because you don't
Like having *****
Doesn't make you a boy
(Mom, I don't like
"girl parts" or "boy parts"
Human anatomy is plain gross)

How about the fact that
I identify with nothing "girly"
I don't like makeup, dresses,
Never played with dolls or
Anything of that nature

I hate the color pink
I hate butterflies and rainbows

I hate this
Having to pretend
I'm someone I'm not

I never look presentable
I don't like to shave
Would rather not
Have to brush my hair

I don't even like girls clothes
I'd rather go in the boy section
Wear cologne instead of perfume
So much inside me
Screams
YOU'RE NOT A GIRL
Maybe I'm not
I don't feel like a boy either

I never knew how bad
Love could actually be
How love could be the
Best thing ever
Yet your love
Destroyed me left me
Wrecked and alone
Forced to Pick up the pieces
Like moving on was an option

People sugarcoat love
Tell you all the good things
Like how you will feel
Butterflies every time they're around
Their smile lights up a room
How everything feels
Better when they're around

With you I felt
Safe enough to
Let down my walls
Let you in
I felt not alone
Like even though
I didn't belong you
Created a place
Where I almost belonged

You knew
Everything about me
From my favorite color
You knew I had two
Black and blue
To calming my nerves
How to deal with my insecurities
Yet you made me feel like
Everything I hated about
Myself was perfect

As a kid I knew about
Deaths and breakups
I never knew death
Would be the
Cause of our breakup
Your life taken
Way too soon

Would a breakup have
Been any easier
Breaking up means
You don't love me anymore
Death means there was
Still love there

You didn't
Choose to leave
I wonder if you had the chance
Would you have stayed

I still love you
Constantly reminded of
You and I wonder
If I'll ever find someone
Like you