derelictmemory

derelictmemory Nov 2013

Bleed

Sometimes you just want to watch yourself bleed
And then you realise that you are already bleeding
But the thing that's flowing isn't blood
It's pain
Not flowing from your veins
But from every single pore of your being
And there's no way to stop that bleeding
Because it bleeds from more than just the outside
But the inside too
More specifically, your heart and your mind
And sometimes even within the intangible confines of your soul
So you pick up that razor
And you try to make the bleeding real
Because that way you can stop it
That way it's tangible
That way you can see it

derelictmemory Nov 2013

A Moment

And we're just us
That was a moment of peace
We were infinite
And no one could ruin it

In that moment
When you didn't care for my age
Or the awkward way I dress
When you looked at me
Like I was the most amazing thing you've ever seen

In that moment
When I was your whole world
And you were my universe
But it had to end

Like all things eventually do
But I'll always remember
Those 90 seconds
When I truly had you

derelictmemory Oct 2013

I Wouldn't Dare

I wouldn't dare to let you look into my eyes
For the secrets I hide and the lies I trust
Are fragile in my current state of mind

I wouldn't dare to let you sneak a peak at my soul
For it is broken and no longer whole
As I scramble to preserve all that is left of me

I wouldn't dare to let you have a hold on me
For I could never truly stay
The moment you get too close I back away and start to leave

I wouldn't dare to let you know how I truly feel
For my emotions would be my undoing
And my carefully woven threads are already loose

I wouldn't dare to let you step so close to me
For I wouldn't be able to stop myself
From keeping you close to me and never letting go

I wouldn't dare to let you into my heart
For I know that if I even begin to, I wouldn't stop
and I would let myself love you
So completely
So deeply
*For all time

derelictmemory Oct 2013

How You Make Me Feel

I've caught you in my lungs
Like a bug flitting about
With no rhyme or reason
But a hell lot of doubt

This constricting in my chest
I'm unsure of just how
You've managed to steal
And hold onto my breath

A constant shiver through me
Whether it remains to be nerves
Or unweilding need
For me to have you around

And how you make me feel
Is unquestionable
Yet impressionable
On all the things I have touched

derelictmemory Oct 2013

Invisible Girl

She was the Invisible Girl
Unseen by the world
and no matter what she did
no one ever noticed

She was the Invisible Girl
Unnoticed by those she loved
and despite what she's achieved
they never see her breathe

She was the Invisible Girl
Insignificant to her brothers and sisters
overlooked by her parents
she didn't have anywhere to turn

She was the Invisible Girl
I say was because
she's no longer invisible

You know what they say,
"You only hear her screams
Once she's dead."

derelictmemory Oct 2013

Suicide Note #3: Reason Why

The reason why I'd like to die
is relatively simple
ranging from the tragedies of life
to the crumbling candles

It should hardly come as a shock
because I am highly insignificant
My time ought to be up like a clock
and my crowd of sycophants

The reason why I'd like to die
ranges from love to lies
All these tears I've already cried
for my own untimely yet timely demise

derelictmemory Oct 2013

Once

Once, you said you liked me
Once, you said you loved me
Once, I chose to believe it
But now, it's been cast under the duvet
of a bed I no longer sleep on
in a room, I no longer belong

Once, I said I liked you
Once, I said I loved you
Once, I actually meant it
But now, it's simply a remembrance
Of what I used to think was real
But you lied, and that sealed the deal