Forgive me, because I stood on your grave and cried.
You weren’t there. You died.
And where are you off to, coz?
What paths will choose you to be their walker?
The pavements in our hearts are covered in your footsteps.
There’s still no sign of you.
We can still hear your laughter, if we sit tight and listen –
And we miss you, coz.

But I understand, you’re off somewhere, wandering far from our grief. You’re on the other side of the world, living still, living always. You do, because we carry your memories with us. But we’ll let you wander away – just promise me you’ll come back.

I stood at your grave and wept,
That promise none of us kept,
Although the blowing wind tried to tear the tears away.
Summer gave way to winter that day,
And the cold bit us in late July
– but the flowers paid no mind –
They piled on you, so I could only see the smallest slab of marble at my feet.

But I wept coz, there was nothing else to do as we held on to each other in familiar disbelief. I am not that strong, I don’t have faith in the heavens. But you were part of the sunshine that lit our downcast faces. I haven’t ventured far enough to look for you in the night and spot your constellation.

I still know you’re out there though – riding winds and playing sweet light strings on cloud guitars – playing music for our hearts. I hear you all the time now.

Forgive me when I stood on your grave and cried,
Because you were there. You died.

And where are you off to now, coz?

Transcendence and unity was always my friend
I know,
Something that doesn't exist yet always lingers
  a man in black, everywhere, always filling cups
  and know I'm staring into the face of that man though he no longer exists
There's an undiscovered idea or concept, nobody sees it but it's here
  with me over my shoulder always
Do you hear those voices on the mainline when the shore is out
why do you see today, when not yesterday, was blind
a certain sense of paranoia, uplifting
Behind the lamp post on the corner there's the man in a black overcoat
  and on the roof, over there
  and in trees behind brick houses
  everywhere
  I see him
How can you escape these walls when captive men's lives linger on
Sighing again, it's morning, did you cry today?

Those headphones passive pass no mas but moreover we're dying
cerebral disconnect
everything changes
creativity dies when the keyboard intervenes
and the blackness of one turns into itself and everything dies before being reborn again somewhere else
  somewhere different
Erratic thoughts but these are dying words when they come each night, the terrors
Is there anybody or anything anymore?
Resistance to life now is dull and over. Done.
  heavy lungs still breathing but detached
Where the ghosts of Saturday night roam in pilfered streets
and numbed limbs crawling
re-percussive Robitussin and gushing percussion, oh the jazz-hall bells
swing la
swing
oh its yellow in nightlife fever fervor forever
Gábor!
Tell me these sweet dreams again
great white flags on the shoreline as the ships arrive home
and the war is done
Did I import the brown in past lives?
Jeer jazz man jeer!
and this wild hair is the sea, swim with  me forever
the guiding hand on my wrist is not my own
the door slams shut in echo chamber corridors and the tension in the neck is incredible
but the end is never that, it's only the beginning in disguise
I am constantly haunted by my psychosis
Amphetamine dreams
and Sunday dawns
the hazy yawns

- to sleep

With your mouth
you allowed me to feel your love.

With your teeth
you left your mark upon my collarbone.

With our legs
we ran through the corridors.

With our hips
we became one, if only for a night.

With your lungs
you sang a song to me, never to be repeated.

With my ears
I listened attentively, never to miss a beat.

It takes a rather rare degree of Integrity
to resist the pull of the current of Circumstance;
it is far too great for far too many
who chose a path
of weak spirit.