What color are your eyes?
something i will never know
even as i fed you all those lies
an honest gaze i never did show
and now you look away
when ever i enter a room
and what could i say
as i see disgust and anger in your face consume
how sad it is knowing i am to die
with out ever knowing the true color of your eye

Do you know how much it hurts
To lie and pretend
After everything
That I like just being your friend

I woke up this morning
After weeks of letting it go
I woke up in mourning
After weeks I havnt let it go
"Does it even matter?"
To me yes
To you no

I'm enraged by the mistakes I made
Like trying to kiss you while you were still engaged
That cost me everything that I could of had
Cause after that you were so mad
now theres no going back
I see you with someone new
And there's nothing I can do
except watch you from a distance
Always reminded of that instance
That changed our fate
Oh the irony that your name is destiny
Cause i feel like life is testin me
I want to fight for you
But It just wasnt meant to be
I'm detained in my brain
By all the things that could be gained
So by this simple fact I am pained
Simply put
You're not preordained

In the past I have given in to a vice
to the point i feel as if i have ruined my life
lost purpose to live
lost my pride or any reason to be proud
i have dug myself into a hole
that has burrowed deep into my soul
i forgot who i was
but this is a promise to myself
That 5 month from now
I will be out of this abyss
i will grind harder that i ever have before
for this one goal
i will live with sole purpose
of taking back my soul

You have made it very clear
but for some reason I can't hear
when I look in your eyes
no burning fire only little white lies
its so easy to see
you don't have for me
what I have for you
so if this is true
and i completely understand

then why can't I accept it?

I can see the future
i can see where this leads
And pain and regret
is all I see
but if i can ease your pain
even if just for a short while
ill take it all away
i would rather have had the chance
than nothing at all
this is my choice
so let me hold you
even though this ends in me being hurt
let me be your comfort

What would you think of me
if you  knew about my past
every mistake and bad decision
do you think we would last
would it affect your vision  
if you knew about every choice ive made
would you be too afraid

what would you think of me
i wonder
would you think me less of a man
if you knew everything
that made me who i am

how can you expect me to open up
somethings, i can tell you now
will bring doubt of character
so my question is how
how can i tell you
when i'm afraid to lose you

What if i've cheated on a woman
opened up someone else's mail
What if i've even been to jail
how much judgement would you hold
if was so bold
to tell you about the old

if i say that the old me dies
when you look in my eyes
how would you feel about me
old or new
which man would you see
i question what would be your view
if you knew
the man i was
before i fell in love

This is the type of night
Where i can think with ease
Soothing and cool
As I lay on my back
a soft gentle breeze
asking questions of the stars
i even look to mars
as i stare in the sky
i sit and wonder
why?

I guess what hurts the most
While I still can't believe
While I still greave
And certainly can't achieve
You were able to move on
And I have this painful happiness
When I see you having fun

I don't want to see you with someone else
but your heard about something
that I did a while back
and its pointless to try and explain
that I'm done with that
It would be impossible
at this point to tell you how I feel
because there's know way
you would believe it for real
Its time for me to pay for every mistake that I make
and letting you go
is the biggest one

Be careful of those clouds
On which you stand
when reality hits
There's no telling where you will land

i ****** up
i made some mistakes
i lost some friends
and did it again
over and over again
until in the end i had no friends

cause the ones still here with me
i call FAMILY

where am i
are you here with me
or did you say goodbye
as quickly as you said hi

I fall asleep with my phone in my hand
Waiting to hear from you
When I wake up in this world of land
First thing is did I hear from you?
Your always on my mind
because even in the time in between
You're in my dreams

If i could make you happy i would
If i could make your pain go away i would
if i had to give you my happiness and take on your pain i would
i would gladly make that trade
and it would be the best decision i have ever made

A song never meant so much
Until it came true
And happend to perfectly describe
Me and you

Oh the irony
It was a song I showed to you
And after you sang the words
They came true

So now we can both sing along
And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you
And now it ain't no way we can be friends

I thought you would be the one
that was willing to wait
but it seems even for you
I take too long

The level of self control I have..
Is ridiculous
Like I am sick of it
I don't want to admit it
But the **** I do is dumb as ****
I keep doing the same thing
Over and over again
Like it's gonna be different
When am I gonna get a grip of it
and be bigger than it
And admit that I'm not bigger than it
I got to admit it has control of me
And I can't be me until
I let it be me none of me
Cause it's controlling me
Where I go,  what I do
And what I say and what im gonna be
If I want to change
It's about I start doing **** differently

And it all starts with me