This is for the first time
you opened your mouth after years of silence
and all you could say was
"Im sorry, please come back"
This is for the first time
you saw the wounds on his hand
and regretted how you let
the roses he sent
just to die and rot away
This is for the first time
you realised how much he loved you
and just because his love remained unwritten or unexplained
does not mean he loved you any less
This is for the first time
you realised how much you
burnt him
with your coldness
unintentional-yet brutal
This is for the first time
you realised
how he broke himself
to fix parts of you-
not a single complain escaping his mouth
You cut him open
and made him apologise for having bled
this is for the first time you bled
and he was not there for help
*this is for the first time
you realised
he was your last shot at
happiness
And you threw it away
*this is for the first time
you heard him say
i love you
for
the last time
And sixth, is when you admit you may have f***** up a little
Ps: might be my last poem ... for a while. I am out of words, i guess. For once, i dont want to bleed out but hold the sadness in.