I see myself like the changing weather
Or like the alternating seasons
I may be falling apart or together
For why this sight I know not the reasons

Unpredictable tonight or tomorrow
The tumbling clouds adversely change like me
Frosty my sentiments that hide the sorrow
Nostalgia eats my ephemeral glee

I wish the dreaded hourglass of time would cease
Then we would lose our sense of reality
Aimlessly wondering our minds’s abyss
Waiting for an explanation to humanity

To discover our calling in this finite life
Will forever be an infinite internal strife

I am cynical
I am lost
I tie anchors to my feet
and complain when I drown
I am clingy, corrupt
I need so many people
yet I push them away
when they get too close
I am broken
I am scarred
I build my walls
and I tear them down
I'm lonely, tired, sad
I am a mess.
Make sense of me?

What is today wont be the same tomorrow
Every morning feels different
I feel the chills of loneliness rising in my sheets
When I can no longer sleep
I wake up and theres nothing next to me
I wish it could be you
Give me the warmth that I need
I can feel the ice reaching me
Frost covered heart
Come closer girl but don't slip
Cuz the ice is melting
I could feel the fresh steam radiate off your lips as it hits me as mist
But my eyes have been closed this whole time
I opened them and there I was
A glacier big enough to wreck a ship
It was all a dream
You never came for me after I came for you

These walls know my past
as does the single malt in my glass
motionless in the eerie dark of a new moon
trapped in the darkness and apartness of you
drown myself in the spirits quicker
tired of hearing the walls whisper
your name
as if every chair's arms now point the blame
at the disheveled heap of the remnants of a man laying in the middle of the room
trapped in the darkness of an apartment I shared with you...

This is not goodbye
Dry your lovely brown eyes
That I find mine
So often locked in a stare
Though I'm aware
Of the dangers that lie ahead
Rest peacefully in your bed
Knowing somewhere out there in an ocean vast and blue
I'm riding out the storms, coming home to you
A love that's true
Know that even as the world around me burns
This is not goodbye, I will brave the fires and to you I will return...

Let's bury the lovely inconsistencies 
Leave the intimate fallacies to mystery
Then my perception of your passion fits with me
Red brick to mortar 
you laid your deceit in a building order
Despite the inherent wrecking ball tendencies you chose to utilize
Blind to my youthful eyes
Let's brush the displaced fervor for lust under makeshift throw rugs
Void of emotion until you know no love
As exhilarating as the love you left long ago as leaves of dogwood trees in a late Pennsylvanian november
Rigid structures that wait a season to return to the lively form they remember
Bare white bark and dead extremities 
Bare as your stockpile of passion meant for me
The surplus became a short supply when I left your graces
Amidst the sea of faces
You encounter in the places
You replace me to fill the voids and spaces
My memory laced with traces
Of your gentle touch, a cool spring breeze to my sun soaked skin
Recalling the ominous climb before the downward spin
We always seem to find ourselves in
Perhaps the fact the rush of the climb washes my mind of the inevitable collapse
I all too often push the moment from thoughts of past
The sinking in my stomach peaking the point of no return
As I set my eyes to the horizon and watch us burn
In the setting sun of an Middle eastern summer
Your lightning fast decisions to leave never compared to the rolling thunder
That swept over my soul
When you tore the hole
In the hazel eyed sky of my perception
with your ill fated rejection
Casting projections 
Of your likeness in the constellations 
Trembling fingers wait patient
Making comparisons and relations 
Between every aspect of you I savored
To Orion's belt, cassiopeia, ursa major
Every slight shift in its luminous glow
A subtle reminder to me of the love you will never know
Intergalactic representations paint the stage for supernovas
Expunging the lovely aroma 
I grew accustom to
Coming to harsh realizations there's no reciprocal paid in full for the love I loved for you.