coccoon of silence, absence of sound
comfortable as softest cotton
alone with myself, I am found
content with all my thoughts
cacophony of the outside world
is stilled behind my private walls

I want, I need to let you in
caution always prevails

When love becomes existential
boundaries no longer apply
spirit breaks free from earthly ties
emotions are free to fly

When heart belongs to you alone
yet captured by another
when souls transcend, lover to lover
rejoice, the universe is one

birth and death ... dichotomy of existence
alone to experience, never to share
yearning to fill that void in between
moments, hours, days, years
wanting a connection that no one has seen
eternally hopeful for one more dance

ocean, sky, horizon blurred, seabirds call into infinity
time stands still on the edge of forever
capturing stardust and spinning into oblivion
existence is but fleeting
cast your heart into the great unknown

lives intertwined with the push of a button
decisions made - don't comprehend
all for moments fast and fleeting
breaking hearts, never to mend
don't come at me with words and flowers
show me where you really stand
deep in our hearts laid bare and bleeding
the challenge is to love again

light touch upon my skin
electric response from deep within
unbidden fantasy stirs, takes flight
unlimited promise in this dark night
so much need, want, craving, to hold
beckons us closer, whispers, 'be bold'
this moment, this time, exists only here
our perfect bubble, our safety sphere

inky blackness swallows me whole
guttural screaming devours my soul
pain consuming, wave after wave
wanting nothing but the love you gave
empty vastness yawns in wait
you closed the door, locked the gate
laid my heart bare, you glanced, you saw
you left me bleeding, alone, raw

left with haunting memories
disparate emotions left incomplete
no reasons why you pulled away
alone I stand, alone I stay
you've shut me out, shot me down
silence has a lonely sound
tis pain I feel, day in, day out
too numb to cry, to rage, to shout
time becomes my enemy
left all alone with memories

i know that you've been hurt, you carry it inside
it runs as deep as canyons go, its scar a mile wide
in many ways it overwhelms, completely takes your soul
you've been consumed, just edges left
i wish you'd just let go
now i've become a part of you that knows not how to feel
wishing i'd listened to that inner voice saying you weren't real
you said you'd never hurt someone as much as she hurt you
i'm here to say your words were false, you've cut me deep
we're through

never imagined
   the stirring of fluttered heartbeats inside my soul
   set alight when your voice I hear
each and every time

never imagined
   unbearable pain of just the thought
   of you absent from this world
yet it burns white hot and true

never imagined
   provocative teasing thoughts
   of what could be, but won't be
and we both know it's real

never imagined
   that destiny would arrive
   disguised in your smile and your laughter
seared into my being forever

sunlight dapples the leaves, the grass
gentle breezes swaying branches, leaving drowsy content
when all is said and all is done
secret passions will linger and love will live on
in silent witness, natures course is set
what transpired between two treasured hearts
destined forever to strain against hope
no mortal witness shall ever dissent
unknown to others their strength and their bond
this love is sent skyward in silent prayer
yet no deeper union will ever be known
eternally bound with the world unaware

say hello, say you're there
tell me something
show me you care
bring back the feelings of
long-ago lost love
meet me half-way
help me to stay

standing in a room of mirrors
but all the reflections are of you
as I whirl and twirl, frantically
wondering what happened to me
there, you're laughing (and pointing)
now, your image haunts visibly
the only way out of this room
illusions shatter, at my feet

you brought me to this place, breathless
alive
excited
showing me the side of you that
no one gets to see

feeling your enthusiasm, wanting to be
included
knowing
I was swept up in expression
letting you see me

smiling, you backed away, fading
shimmering
opaque
and I saw through you
as you walked away

I dare not look too closely inside
where lurking, darkest feelings hide
behind the shards of glass pretending to be mirrors
they threaten to sever all my emotions
Instead I drift with aimless thoughts
kept neat and tidy, as in a box
******* with strings crafted by the years
of endless sorrow
never to see the light of day
where my deepest yearnings lie
too fragile for to give away
and risk losing myself forever

to turn a phrase sweetly, oh, to be clever
to wrought a delicate phrase
all the while, in hopes of catching
your eye
to have you longingly gaze
in wonder
Anything, to make your love mine

we follow the curves of our bodies
with distracted fascination
secretly satisfied by our gifts
outwardly disdaining as if
being confident were a sin

I caught that look in your eye
when I casually undressed
your surreptitiously satisfied smile
at the overall swell of my breast
and I was pleased with myself

a dance as old as the ages begins
again and again, seemingly anew
discovering the lines of each other privately
delighted another shares in our view
reaffirming the laws of nature

I was hoping
in this bubble we live
to keep my heart from harm
it is to you I give
all my treasures sacred
All I am or hope to be
so if my love was threatened
you'd keep it safe,
for me

whispers ricochet like shouts in stillness of night
carrying deep and soulful laments
only in darkness do we let our pain see light
in the confusion of trying to make sense
ever searching, speaking without making a sound
stillness of the night stands silent witness
private sentinel to emotions that abound
cover of shadows, to our weaknesses we confess

you tiptoe around the edges of my conscience
fleet of foot, how nimble is your smile!
lightly landing closer and closer to that place
drawing me in, careful all the while
playing music that only you and I hear
melodies of melancholy sweet and low
entranced, I ache to hold you near
in union, while you dance upon my soul

vibrant and alive
there is a rhythm to night
a pulse all its own

I hate that he can be passionate...
and then show no emotion
I hate that he says he loves me...
but there he goes again
I hate that I love his touch...
but it seems I'm holding on
I hate that I love so much...
but I love the wrong one

it's time to find my old friend
(my *******)
it doesn't care about making amends
(my *******)
no false hopes or promises
it does what it says (and advertises)
(my *******)
so back to the tried and true
(my *******)
in hopes I'll forget about you ...
... there's no guarantees

she asked me, 'what do you get from him?'
I said I didn't know
I think what keeps me going back
the truth that I don't show
is feeling that for the first time
I'm really not alone

living for ephemeral touches
most of the time apart
wrenching little pieces off
the fabric of our hearts
in lieu of the whole garment

so back I go, again and again
wondering why it had to be him
knowing we'll never have what we want
a life out of reach, seeming to taunt
powerless against his allure

when I write to you to tell you
of my deepest emotions
you respond with 'calm down'
as if you picture me in histrionics
wailing and pulling out my hair
which mystifies me
for I was calm all along

when I dream
it is of you - not of him
not of past loves, or those I thought
were love

your dreams
are of her - faded distant long-ago times
even though she
broke your heart

which breaks mine anew

take away this pain!
hold me in your arms again
you're my everything

shadows are cast even in sunlight
apex of light, brilliance notwithstanding
there exists a room closed off

no light penetrates
this room, coccoon-like in velvet inky
darkness safely tucked in

remembering shame so powerful
when he pulled me onto his lap
saying, 'you did this'

darkness in the middle of the day
will never see sunlight or
let any light in to stay

your absence is distinct
tasting of sorrow, opportunities lost
tinged with the slightest shade of sadness
a note left hanging in the air

focusing on the here and now
accentuates the lines drawn
between your existence and mine
stark, but made of charcol to be smudged

I love you, that pure crystalline tone
offered up from beyond perception
all the senses brought together
in harmony of hope

crafted painstakingly from tears and laughter
placing adjectives like pieces of a mosaic
staying detached from the message until after
finality of images make an impact
with a flash of recognition

of all the words I string together
fragile feelings next to hard thoughts
as a strand of pearls, linked by knots
wanting the beauty and the lustre
to rub off on you

I will say "I love you" until my last breath
be it a whimper or a shout
but to really know what's in my soul
to know what I'm about
just read, read my poems

in the quiet moments after
dust has settled
passions have been felt
looks have been exchanged ...... creeps in the longing

emotions acute take their own pound of flesh
appetites are lost
breathing is shallow
colors are muted ...... muffled are the heartbeats

reunions become life-affirming events
spirits are higher
laughter is joyous
love is intense

Solution is obvious:  you.

it was a magical moment
cottonwood falling like snow
sunlight catching the edges
adding halo's glow
gentle floating angel feathers
drifting about from above
we sat enraptured, quiet
basking in simple pure love

moments come to us like that
blink an eye, then they're gone
yet lasting forever, eternity
forever that moment lives on
all of time, of human existence
condenses into that single space
treasure the gift we've been given
experience a moment of grace

I want to make love with you
wildly, savagely, viciously
insatiable need crowds out all thought
except for how you feel to me
it's more than lustful carnal craving
raw passions threaten to explode
we're one, together in that moment
senses burning, overload
hearts pounding, muscles shaking
salty sweat, bodies aching
driven into breathless frenzy
release, that moment stopped in time
once more, to feel that you are mine

we're desperate for connections
yet we build roadblocks of icy indifference
a challenge to see who cares enough
to knock down our walls of fear

substitute ***** of fluff for love
purring, licking, dependent lives
warm on our feet and toes as if
that could thaw our numb hearts

I found you, I see you, I challenge you
and at first you responded with joy
free from encumbrance of memories and pain
relieved to be breathing, to have life again

retreated now back into your world
where you think it's safe to hide
peeking out at me, beckoning 'come closer'
yet behind the glass you stay inside

I need you.  I want you.  I've said it plain
I throw myself into your walls, over and over
successfully you've built them even higher
closed off again from all desire

why is it now when you feel guilt?
as though I've had none all along
ignoring the knives that cut my soul
bleeding emotions through words and song

I'm desperate for your connection
the only one who's seen me truly
I've opened my heart, left my walls
waiting for you to return

through the thin veneer emotionally shellacked
lies appear, distrust with doubt, faith begins to crack
illusions formed in moments desperate for your truth
fall along the wayside like the years of misspent youth
hope no more for a time in minds eye I am seeing
put away the dreams I hide inside my very being
the last vestiges of trust I had have crumbled into dust
oh cold hard life, you win again, face you, yes, I must

looking for you in shadows and shade
in between the distance
hoping the love we made
with its breathless insistence
wasn't a fad for you
looming large overhead, worry
no response becomes a response
now you're always in a hurry
pulling back, hiding, wants
silence out of the blue

where did you go?

they say, 'You're beautiful' and I look around
to see who they are talking to
always shocked to hear the sound
of compliments

beautiful is the perfect wave crashing
while sunlight shimmers through aquamarine water
or wrinkles at the edges of smiling
eyes full of life

beautiful is the feeling overcome
pure emotion that fills you up, bursts out
when you're with the right one
authentic love

beautiful is not simply seen
nor is it defined as a commodity
on the pages of an airbrushed magazine
to be bought

words
brought us together
strung carefully just so
it was the way I wrote that ad
and the way you responded
words seemed to simply flow

words
are what I look for now
but the timbre and the tone has changed
no longer reassuring to me
the silences grow longer
words are jumbled, I silently chant your name

words
feeling empty, hollow, like a box
left after the present has been opened
longing and pain are acute, stabbing
reading the spaces left gaping between
words so graphic, dashing all hope

All we have are words

It's 5 am, frogs are doing froggy things
Listening to you breathe lulling me into dreams
drinking leftover champagne
with raspberries
contemplating the walk of shame

for I have none, but I should
I'd stay here if I could
I'd bring you life and love and laughter
all the things you've needed after
she torched your heart

Dawn is breaking in more ways than one
deep down I knew I shouldn't have come
too close to see the life you live
touch on the love that you can give
now it's my heart that's breaking

space between words and expectations full
crowded with mental pebbles worn smooth
inscribed by love, worry, pain, lust, undeniable
endless unspoken messages to choose
even when eyes meet, slight nods of understanding
do we wonder if that space has been filled
or does it lie in wait, still

puff of breath when you gently place your lips
next to my ear
and exhale
that sends electricity straight
into my being

jolt of lightening
when eyes meet, arcing intensity
white hot and blue
without saying a word
just smile

not always ******, more about
connecting, thrilling
recognition of
same spirit, same passion
living in the purest form

inspiring

your words are raw, exposed, honest
in each other do we finally trust
all the metaphors, all the similes
fail to capture the essence of you and me
forms of expression known to man
music, art, poetry all also-rans
together we are light, air, complete beings
reveling in emotional perfection

there is no way to emphasize
no way to look into your eyes
to stress, to curse, to pound the table
to show you that if I were able
YOU would be the ONLY one
I came home to when day was done
choices made so long ago
reflect me not, no they don't show
I gave up hope and settled down
I've always taken the long way 'round
You're in my life, You're in my heart
No way to make a brand-new start
others may judge, they may say it's odd
but I love YOU true, so help me God

never-ending thoughts, that smile, your lips, those eyes
captured in moments whispered with my sighs
it seems too cruel to find this love, crave each as we do
yet barriers stand in the way, this we know is true
what fate to be our destiny?  what future will we share?
you spoke it best when truth you wrote: you're fire, I am air
together we've created flame, this love will take us higher
no mortal bonds will keep us from our consummate desires

we know that heat once generated
does not die or is dissipated
but only exchanged, one form to another
as in the touches between lovers
warmth arises - seizing hold
forever transferred from the cold
ardent flames lick at our skin
consume the need that lies within
melting two souls, passions shared
love feeds longing with energy squared

we fight for expression
thinking
if we fill in the spaces
all will be clear

with you
I am finding
that you understand
so

.......

this upside-down life, so disconcerting
a world of shadows, passions, yearning
time tempo slows as sun takes flight
into yawning shades of the night

when darkness falls, and shadows grow
a world only few would know
away from warmth and heat of day
now others sleep, in stillness lay

my time to wake and start anew
indigo shades, lavendar hues
adorn the palette I work from
memories of you to keep me strong

in time, this too shall come to pass
existence as this isn't meant to last
love draws me back from dark abyss
to feel your love, to taste your kiss

water is my element, in all ways and forms
kissing the sweat from your chest salty and warm
laughingly running with you through the misty rain
wiping the tears from my eyes, missing you again
longing to swim beside you in the vast ocean blue
silky slippery sensual water, caressing me and you

magnetic forces pull two hearts
time, distance matters not
lustful phantoms torn apart
****** desires fill every thought

in the deepest darkest part of night
my ache for you overwhelms
no use to struggle, nor to fight
give in to fantasy's ebony realms

you, of my soul ~ you, of my heart
inside my being forevermore
sweet sultry need, I will not part
seared into me, loves lyrical score

unless I am feeling
deep inside
really feeling, really 'living'
I don't feel alive
it's a drug, need that 'fix'
need ............. YOU

until you, until 'us' -
now my heartbeat is strong
you're my fuel,
you're my fire
how is this wrong?

you're so calm, so collected
your feelings don't show
here I am, such a mess
so **** emotional