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Deyer Mar 2016
Burn the acrid tobacco.
Pour the bourbon
all the way down.
Empty the memory
bank
of whatever you choose
not to remember.
Hold on
to what time won't take,
and what you
refuse to give.
Breathe in
and out
or don't.
Deyer Mar 2016
My landlord is renovating the neighboring room.
I inhale, eyes closed, and I'm faced with God. Unable to speak, I listen as he tells me that life is worth living and that love is worth loving. He says that I'm doing pretty well despite the circumstances and that often an ounce of a smile is worth ten tonnes of agony.
I inhale, bleach and other cleaning solutions siphoning reality from my extremities, replacing it with a calming alternative.
Deyer Mar 2016
***
Today, I ate rice
and sauce. I woke up at 2 PM
and decided to shower
tomorrow
maybe.
I brushed my teeth, spat on the brim
of the sink, and
left it.
I went to
0
of my classes
just cause
I think it might
be cold out.
Deyer Mar 2016
Deep into the forest, where none
but paws seem to wander, water
cascades over rocks, connecting
two streams. Heard from a distance,
it howls as crashing bubbles form
and fade under the weight. No
rubber boots displace this current,
and they never will. Still,
fur-covered faces scamper all about
as bliss is carried through the trees
by whispering wind.
Deyer Mar 2016
I sit high on my Mount Olympus,
a chair from Staples with an Executive
appearance (so the box said). I'm faced
with a vacant canvas, and the knowledge
that one day,                                                
I won't have time to fill it.
1A
I decide then to fill it with whatever
comes to mind. Stars sparkle from my
fingertips after painting the whole thing
mostly black. I place them in shapes
that could be confused for a belt, a warrior,
a goat, or a saucepan to those without
vision. I pause, placing large reptiles
on a green and blue dot that floats
around one of the smaller stars. It entertains
me for a short while, but I decide to
start anew with a smaller, weaker, but
smarter animal.                        
And then I observe.
I watch as first they stand upright,
their distant relatives still using sticks
to catch ants in their homes.                
They spark stones using friction, and
I'm delighted while feeling my first tinge
of fear, for I sprinkled my own intellect in them
like stars on a black canvas.

They thrive, expanding out in every direction
until they share air, exhaling while others
breathe in their exhaust.

I watch as they cut all the greens, take
clean and cover it with cement. They burn
the core, slowly, to power machines that
take them anywhere. They fight; oh how
they fight.
        The core dissipates and they fight over
it, and they fight over me and I don't
understand. All their ideas are the same,
other than those who assume that they
are in my favour . . . Location, as I've
grown to see, impacts culture; it can not create
hate.
They look to me, pray to me,
and I can hardly intervene. A new
world, it seems, is all that I could do . . .

1B
I think of my dad, who left a thousand
jokes yet to be told. Before I paint or print,
I think and think and nothing comes.
Then I paint the sky with tiny points
of white, wasting no more time on thinking.
A scene opens up before me, and it
consumes everything
that I am, or that I ever will be.

I paint my own light into the dark
abyss, bliss kissing my cheeks as
my working wrist grows weak.
I write, if only to last a second
longer than my body. I write
to continue (to matter).
Deyer Mar 2016
Thousands of pounds
of dark, shiny, heavy
metal light soars over the
moon-glittered mirror.
No shadows block
water from the sky.
I float, eyes looking
inward as I hope that
today will be forgettable.
For hours, I have no idea where
I've been or where I'm going,
hearing only engine and
praying its whirring doesn't slow.
I'm a chicken ****.
I keep trying to
fade away from my own
mind. Terrified.
Hell-bent on tomorrow,
I stumble off to sleep.
Deyer Mar 2016
Yesterday I wore boots and a winter coat.
Today, running shoes and a sweater, and
today I lost a friend that I met last fall.
It lingered on a branch long after
loneliness took hold. As cold and wind
tried to dim its golden glow, this friend
shook and slimmed but never did it go. It held on through fading warmth, fighting with every inch of its existence to see another day. Time passed.
Every blast of icy breeze cast doubt on
my last remaining leaf on the tree
just outside my house. Today,
I lost a friend that reminded me to hold
on.
Tomorrow, though, I know that in its place a green bulb of life will take shape.

The battle will not have been in vain,
because together we lasted
through the darkest shade of rain.
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