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 Nov 2013 David Messmer
Auss
i hid my face
i was a disgrace
i was the oddball
i hated the hall

you saw that i was hurt
you came and helped me
i was a crude and short
you gave me a taste of free

free of fears
free of the bully
free of conformity
free of tears

you became my brother
a quiet protector
you kept away what i hated
even if you were a lil twisted

you cared
you helped
you supported
you heard

there is no way
i could repay
all the things you did
so all i can say is thank you
david you kept me alive through the worst years so far
the worst part of being an overanalyzing introvert is unintentionally ruining
every relationship
i have ever had.
i need to be alone to motivate myself.
being alone is how i create energy to take on another full day.
there's a lot of time in a day.
time i will never get back.
so i try my hardest thinking about how to make the best out of it,
which is kind of ironic,
because i'm laying in bed writing this.
wasting precious time.

when it comes to romantics,
there is always a huge price i must pay.
i will spend so much time debating
if you're worth my energy.
i will fight with myself over all of your pros
and your cons.
i'm not trying to push you away,
i'm trying to predetermine our relationship.
it's nothing against you.
i want to love you.
i really do.
but it takes me so much time to motivate myself,
i can't even fathom how i could double this minimal energy to propel someone else.
and the time i have spent trying to write this,
is time i'm wasting while you're sitting wondering what you are doing wrong.
and when i look up from this "poem."
you will already be gone.
and all i will have left.
is this.
some half-assed writing that will one day be dust.
just like you and i.
before i was even done writing it.
She is stubborn ... Gets mad constantly ... Rarely listens to anyone ..but that's because most are attempting to change her .. And transform her into someone she does not wish to be
     She is brave
         She is strong
             She is unique
She dances and sings under the moonlight
     Looking up at the sky she wishes upon a star that one day she will reach paradise ... A place were she will be free ... To be herself ...
Without being afraid to express who she really is inside
The girl siting quietly at the back of the classroom ... She is who has the most beautiful dreams
Though many may not notice her ... She is more fearless
than you might expect ... And when you see her cry as others make fun of her ... Those tears will only make her stronger than she already is... Because she is wise enough to keep being who she is
Not trying to please the world ... Instead simply listening to her heart ... Allowing nature to be her silent guide ...and music her inspiration ... Closing her eyes ..she can see more clearly than ever before ... At last she won't ever forget to love ... Loving herself is the first step ...
I have no idea were this came from ...oh yeah it came from my heart :)
I've always dreamed of someone
who'll make his love show
That when I'm sad and full of dismay,
he'll always know what to say
That everytime I throw a fit and when i'm mad
he'll calm me down and hold my hand

that when i'm tired and unwell,
he'll always be there for me,in a ring of a bell
he'll say sweet things that will tickle my heart
and will promise me that we will never part
he'll call me in the middle of the night,
wishing he can hold me tight

he'll make me laugh to a point of tears,
washing away all my fears
he'll take me to walks by the moon,
making cute faces like a funny cartoon

he'll gladly hold my hand in front of his friends,
telling them it was "us" till the end
he'll run after me through the rain,
holding me on through the pain

he'll dance with me though there's no music
and he'll steal a kiss real quick
he'll sing sweet melodies into my ears,
with a song that only both our hearts can hear...
 Aug 2013 David Messmer
Redshift
hey listen
you're my bestfriend an all
but girl...
if that kid was my boyfriend
i'd punch him in the ***** so hard
he'd be sitting on his *** in the middle of next week
wondering what the ****
happened
you don't give people ultimatums like
"it's me or your dream"
i'd say *******
at least my dream's better
in bed,
you
tent-pitching
*******
 Aug 2013 David Messmer
Redshift
They filled you up
too much
now you have to cry
the constant
"Them".

i took
2600mg
of ibprofen
and my body feels numb
i wonder
how much more i can take
until the big lake in my chest
that is trying to escape out my eyes
will feel better

it feels good to sob.
the familiar tomb-embrace of my room
comforts me
but i want to take my heart out
with this knife i cut my arms with
and step on it until it is quiet.

someone make me feel better
anyone
please
.
 Aug 2013 David Messmer
Redshift
to my mother,
i am a garbage bag of old clothes
a messy, dusty room
that was empty for two years
a vacant bed...
an echo
in a big yellow house
that she never owned
alone
until now...
to my mother
i am a memory
and that's where
she likes to keep me
a pretty little cardboard box
of old notes
that she ties a ribbon around.

mother,
this garbage bag
of clothes
that i had to replace
two years ago
when you made me and daddy leave
makes me cry
because i am not the only one
who is a bag of old clothes
no longer needed
i have learned
to no longer need you,
too
and it isn't
fair.
i don't care if this poem is any good.
 Jul 2013 David Messmer
Redshift
"it'll get easier"
they say
"holidays won't be so hard forever"
they say
"christmas will be better next year"
they say
"it won't hurt so much after a while"
they say
"mom'll come back someday"
they say
"she'll come to her senses"
"she'll realize her mistake"
"she'll miss her family"
"the kids won't forget about their big sister"
"she won't disappear again"
"you're gonna be fine"
"it'll all sort itself out"
"just be patient"
"it was your dad's fault"
"she was crazy"
"give it time"
they say.

they
(whoever they are)
do a lot
of talking
but not enough
to make today
feel alright
because i can't look anywhere
without seeing us down by the lake
with watermelon dripping down our chins
and scraggly weeds
growing inbetween the rocks

i miss that thing i used to have

f                    
                    a
            m


        i                 ­       
                                     l


                                                             ­              y
happy fourth of july.
You
Only
Live
Once?

To hell with that.
I'll live forever.
Or I guess, die trying.

Don't tell me life is short.
It's longer than anything else.
Don't tell me to live it to the fullest.
I'll live how I live.
Don't give me your pompous advice, posed in front of idyllic, charming little photographs of nature.
I'm an indoor girl.
Don't write me your tragic poems of love lost, words neatly plucked from the thesaurus.
This is real.

This isn't about love.
This is anger.
This is rage.

This is a scream.

Don't tell me what to think.
Maybe I like living in Suburbia.
Maybe I enjoy books with happy endings, and clear-cut villains.
Maybe I love my 9-to-5 job and my church on Sundays and maybe I love my life just the way it is.

Don't tell me to resist peer pressure.
Cause, ******, now I have no choice.

Don't tell me to rebel.
Cause then I'm following orders either way.

This life is mine.
This life is my rebellion.

"Don't follow the crowd. Be your own person."
*******.
Maybe the crowd has found the best path.
Anyways, I chose this way.
Maybe the crowd is just following me.

So what if I'm young?
(I'm older than my years)
So what if I'm stupid?
(I'm as smart as I need to be)
This is my life.

Why do you give a **** how I live?
I am none of your business.

I will not be governed by forces that I can control.

This is my life.

You
Only
Live
Once?

To hell with that.
*I'll live forever.
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