What do you call a polar bear that goes both ways?


A Bi-polar bear.

N.F.L.
Killing children
Since 1912

Mary had a houseboat.
She bought it with the money she
made selling lamb chops.

They don't think twice
About shattering lives
One has a badge
The other has stardom
Another thinks trash and
Then backs into bar bums
The heartache they've caused
The terrible ruin
How can they live with
Themselves and the suing
The other side bleeds
With torment forever
And makes the most out
Of pointless endeavors
The victims are gone
Or forever in pain
How can those three know
The hurt that they've made

MONTANA
  
Stripped like a ***** all
your ore gone Big Sky
Way to cold in summertime
  
2.  ARIZONA
  
Grand Canyon Station
A great place to relax
for native New Yorkers
  
3.  UTAH
  
The great lake's surrounded
Now you still can't swim
in it.  Tabernacle Choir
  
4.  MISSISSIPPI
  
With your gulf coast taxi's
dancing at casinos
Still the ugliest
  
5.  TEXAS
  
Big Country, No little
Men.  Women get you hooked
on "Hi, have we met".
  
6.  GEORGIA
  
Took a trip down nine
Tee-Five.  Think it was
Three-A saying hi to Dave
  
7.  SOUTH CAROLINA
  
Columbia runs through
Gamecock town.  The sheriff,
he wants to know your name
  
8.  NORTH CAROLINA
  
Tearing down mountains
to build townhouses
you are lousy, just like me

9.  WASHINGTON D. C.
  
On the drive down here
A native shot at me
I rolled up the window
  
10.  PITTSBURGH
You ***** old city
There is a shark that swims
In one of your three rivers
  
11.  SCOTTY'S CASTLE
  
In the deadliest
of valleys.  An oasis
appears as heaven
  
12.  NEW MEXICO
  
The seniors there cross
the border.  They're earning
prescription drug money

I went back home last Tuesday
The wife and the kid were gone
All I got was a note saying
"See ya later"
I went up to the corner store
To find myself a rock n' roll band
But, all I got was a drunk
And a kick in the ***
  
Somebody's rockin' my world
Uptown, down and around now
Somebody's rockin' my world
Somebody's rockin' my world
C'mon, help me straighten it out now
Somebody's rockin' my world
  
My friend Joey got an old guitar
Let me tell you fella
He can take it far
But, what he got
It ain't up for grabbing  
Tracked him down
On a Saturday night
Let me tell you
He was outta sight
He couldn't find no more this evening  
  
Somebody's rockin' my world
Uptown, down and around now
Somebody's rockin' my world
Somebody's rockin' my world
C'mon, help me straighten it out now
Somebody's rockin' my world
  
My friend Jimmy got an old machine
Let me tell you
It's a clean machine
But, he just rides the city
Heh, heh
Packed him down
With the vitamin e,
Protein,  and the misery
But, he ain't trying to
Lose his alles
  
Somebody's rockin' my world
Uptown, down and around now
Somebody's rockin' my world
Somebody's rockin' my world
C'mon, help me straighten it out now
Somebody's rockin' my world

Cowgirl
Locked-up in the joint
Rough riding, when you could have been dancing
No stars to gaze at now
Nothing!

I was awakened on an igloo floating away
in the middle of the night
We had to pack it up and head
north to find more ice
in the middle of the night
Well we finally found more ice
and cut 'em out again just right
And then we built our little ice house
so that we could have a sleep
along a winter's cold long night
  
We're on a rolling ball of fire
that eventually is gonna burn out
Someday a memory somewhere
on an ash that's just floating about
It makes it interesting to try and understand
If there ever was a one perfect plan
Because there ain't nobody perfect
that's for certain
except maybe that old uncle sam
  
We're on a rolling ball of fire
that generates its old-tyme
'Lectricity
There ain't nothin' we can't figure out
'cept senseless killing
****** for oil and greed
And we're almost to the teens
we'll be paying more
than we'd ever think
But in the end we're just a
rolling ball of fire
that's turning into ice once more again

I whacked Rudolph, that showoff with the bright nose
Wakin' me up all night on Christmas Eve
Santa had to cut him off the lead pack
Just to make his rounds on Christmas Eve
  
I know a lot of eve's and some get naked
But, I got drunk somehow after shopping and banking
Now I don't need no how on keep waking up wasted
I shot him in his brain and sliced his neck
  
I wacked Rudolph, that showoff with the bright nose
Wakin' me up all night on Christmas Eve
Santa had to cut him off the lead pack
Just to make his rounds on Christmas Eve
  
Now it's Christmas Day, I have him here
He's hung in my backyard.  Oh, what a deer!
Today's a holiday.  We'll serve what's near.
And Rudolph's venison will bring on cheer
  
I whacked Rudolph, that showoff with the bright nose
Wakin' me up all night on Christmas Eve
Santa had to cut him off the lead pack
Just to make his rounds on Christmas Eve
  
I'm slicing jerkey
I'm slicing meat
I'm cutting steaks
I'm slicing lean
I cut his brains out
Threw them away
His guts and his *****
Have been turned into hay
  
I whacked Rudolph, that showoff with the bright nose
Wakin' me up all night on Christmas Eve
Santa had to cut him off the lead pack
Just to make his rounds on Christmas Eve

Bills, Browns, Chicago Bears
Broncos, Bengals, Buccaneers
Raiders, Ravens, Rams, and Redskins
Giants, Eagles, Texans, Titans
Falcons, Jaquars, Jets, and Dolphins
Niners, Vikings, Pats and Lions
Seahawks, Saints, The Colts and Chargers
Cowboys, Chiefs, The Green Bay Packers
Cardinals, Steelers and The Panthers
Now, it's time to watch what matters
Hope you have an awesome year
I'll be watching with my beer

That Rumi, he was a real
crybaby poet

Always complaining

How the catholics and jews always receive favor
And how the muslims have to always suffer

Well poet Rumi, you big crybaby
Maybe if the muslims would stop
killing in the name of G
Then, they too, could receive favor

instead of acting like a jokar

I told you about the wolves in Norwood
Did I tell you about the Ghost of Rockleigh
Revolutionary War Heroes
and sometimes Benedict Arnold drops in

You could waste two years worrying
about getting back the money they stole from ya'
And you never get it back
No, you never get it back

Might as well run away from the start
Run a way from the start
Break out fast ; Don't Stop
Run a way from the start

I'm an arrow on an elm tree and
My heart is barking bled
Tattooed to you for too too long
I may as well be dead

I can not have this misery, the memories, the dread
I'm counting on a lightning storm to finally set me free

and I

Might as well run away from the start
Run a way from the start
Break out fast ; Don't Stop
Run a way from the start

rusty roses
once were blue
red or yellow
pink ones too
  
not delivered
to the one
young true lover
having fun
  
always meant to
spark a fire
for your eyes would
then alight
  
never got to
show my love
never had
my turtle dove
  
sorry that I
never sent
the rusty roses
meant for you

Poor Willie Williams
Waiting for the train
Traffic Cops stole his money
It's a sad story; it's not funny
  
Poor Doctor Williams
Awake in Lincoln Park
Arrested for his scribblings
"We don't like your kind" they bark
  
Carlos won't you come back
Give this old town a haunt
They crapped on paradise again
Your town is full of greed and sin

One Dollar
Nothing more
One Dollar
I fought in a war
Not one dime
nor a nickel
penny for a thought
that just plain tickles

One Dollar
I got a roll
One Dollar
A jug of water
One Dollar
One more day

Good Grief
What a waste of time
Always something slowing me down
Here online
Ready for the bomb
heed my warning
don't waste your time

a poem sailed unto the air and landed atop
the pond **** of van saun lake
Written in pencil it stayed afloat
until all the words could absorb the moisture
They needed to cleanse themselves
from the steady stream caravan of pollution makers
that run through the park all summer long

Thirty-eight years ago we were
pumping lead into the air
We should not delay drastic measures
as I sit underneath the giantelm and continue to write
I see a thin girl with dark hair on the other side
and a goose is tearing to shreds my discarded art
                                                 then eats it
Then, what becomes of art but, goose ****

I spent my childhood in the nineteen sixties
Watching Walter CRONKITE
Warning Adults to
not let their children watch tonight's graphic
footage of the Vietnam War

It was quite disturbing
To this day
I can not erase the image
of that man on his knees
being shot in the head
execution style
in the street

And the other footage
of the reporters
on the front lines

Before man walked on the moon
Supposedly

Before I was ten

There should be a class action lawsuit for
EVERYONE Who was shown that footage
No one should have had to see that

But ezra pound said it best
War is made to create debt

Well, Let's take legal action now
to settle that debt

But, who do you sue?
Not Walter.  He tried to warn us.
The media?
The country?
The idiot who started the whole thing?
The t. v. station or network?
Who do you sue?

Is it a debt that could ever be' settled?

How do you correct the wrong?
How do you settle this debt?

For if there were no debt
There would be no banks

Why would one have to borrow
If he didn't owe

America, stockpile your banks
You owe everyone in this country
Fifty years and over
PLUS INTEREST

For causing undue stress
to so many

Make bees not cellphone towers.

Kitten purr
Mama's hungry

It doesn't matter anymore
Not to me anyway
Why should I care what you think
Do you ever think of me
  
You're so full of greed
Because you consumed it in the eighties
And they bait you in the states
With their american awards
  
So sad, such a sham, what a shame
It doesn't matter anyway
Not to me anymore
You're no comedian but, celebrities are all the same
  
Shooting lifesavers
And wishing on falling stars
So you can smoke more on the corners
And drink scotch at the bars
  
Shooting lifesavers
Like the fake friends that they are
And discovering more to life
When it's too late to start a fire
  
It's almost over now
Don't be ashamed
For the things you did you had to do
In sunshine and the rain
  
So don't you worry your poor head
or even try to try explain
It doesn't even matter now
The rest can live in pain
  
Shooting lifesavers
And wishing it would end
So all the torment Devil gave
Would get you in again
  
Your friends are shooting lifesavers
Because they want to live
But are their lives worth more than nil
If they haven't any give
  
I would rather end it all
Then shoot lifesavers again
So i could save them up, then give
My lifesavers to my friends

Good guy, bad guy, saint or sa-tan
This world leaves a question
Since when it began
Marauders, kings make them of many a man
To plunder and pilfer all that they can
We call them heroes, they destroy land
We give them a medal, they cut off our hands
A little boy grows up and kills his friend
We call him M word, world leaders they can
And they they lead us to shutter our plans
When their shroff becomes useless
With blood on his hands
It's a cold hearted story I can't understand
Why we let them do this
to us and our friends
Now, let's get some shut-eye
You sleep while they band
Stop thinking! Just feel safe
Because you can

I only beat you
Because I love you
Mother said.  After I died.
  
She wanted me to be good
So she beat me 'til I bled
Now I'm dead

An eagle flies over the Hackensack
It's ebb tide and the flood is gone
  
Heather came back from the doctor today
Three more weeks for the baby
  
They play ball games in Foschini Park
Where eagles lie in their nest

Six strings and a jug of whiskey
Is all I have
Six strings and a jug of whiskey
More than I had
My heart, my soul, my thing
She didn't bring me a thing
So I got six strings
And a jug of whiskey
All I have
Six strings and a jug of whiskey
And it's kind of sad
She took my wedding ring
My kid, my bed, my paycheck
The kitchen sink
I mean everything
Now I've six strings and a jug of whiskey
Is all I have
Six strings and a jug of whiskey
's why I'm so sad

Soft lips, wet kiss, soft lips, wet kiss
Soft lips, wet kiss, soft lips, wet kiss

Soft lips, wet kiss
gimme gimme gimme gimme bliss
soft lips, wet kiss
gimme gimme gimme gimme bliss

Soft lips, wet kiss, soft lips, wet kiss
Soft lips, wet kiss, soft lips, wet kiss

Touch my lips with your fingers
as we kiss under the rain
now we have no disorder
now we have no more pain

Soft lips, wet kiss, soft lips, wet kiss
Soft lips, wet kiss, soft lips, wet kiss

Lie around atop the water
Near the lake or in the pool
Kiss me with your soft lips dearly
Make me your one little fool

Soft lips, wet kiss, soft lips, wet kiss
Soft lips, wet kiss, soft lips, wet kiss

Soft lips, wet kiss
gimme gimme gimme gimme
Soft lips, wet kiss
gimme gimme gimme gimme

soft lips wet kiss soft lips wet kiss...

I am a lonely sole
No one is ever there
to talk to, or ask
A question or two
  
From my window above
I see them
Backgrounded by the traffic's din
So empty
Their lips silent

Three Twenty-Three Nine
I can't take it anymore
Robyn says Good Morning
We need more cars on the road
in India
Brought to you by Botox
Meanwhile the government isn't happy
with eighty-five per cent
of banks and businesses
They want to own
the home
Where you live
Ignorance is a happy place
Everybody smile, say cheese

Had nice thoughts of Florida
'till a gator ate a man, so morbida

Overheard from George Jetson
"That Rosie was a real ****-bot.  Always
being tossed around like a tin can.  They
used to really put the metal to that one.
Treating her like the scrap metal from
which she was recycled."

JANE STOP THIS CRAZY THING!

Hey hey sparky
Where you going with that spliff
Well I might need a lift
Yeah I might need a lift
  
Hey hey sparky
Won't you light up that spliff
'Cause I might need a lift
I just might need a lift

A Nor'easter sneaks
in to welcome spring
Winter avered "not done yet"

Sprinkle her lightly
her powers so magical
The light of stardust

The glare from her stare
talk about your killer looks
don't look if you dare

She'll blind you useless
permanently dazed for life
forever dreamy

Those pretty peepers
shining hypnotizing me
forever dreaming

Stardust in my eyes
streaking out of existence
and into a life

Forever dreaming
magical light of stardust
sprinkle her lightly

As the Walmarts
turn the world
into a *******
by supporting unequal opportunity
through
the support
of illegal immigration
They become
as corrupt
as the politicians
who allow such actions

I would paste my heart
with crazy glue if that would
help it stick to you

Some people play hard to get
Some people play nothing at all
Those people are are to get
And you can't hear them call
No, you can't hear when they call
  
Turn around now I'll give you a line
One that'll make you fall
You might think that I invented them all
And would you believe I'm tall
And you would believe I'm tall
  
I don't care if you've been around
It doesn't bother me at all
You're just a little circus clown
Going around and round and round
And down and down down down  
  
For your information I'm the king of mars
***** motels and all the bars
Well, listen now, I'm a big bad star
And would you like to drive my car
And you would like to drive my car
  
For those of you with your fluttering jaws
Going after birds with the dangerous claws
Well listen now now now, who got who
When your face is red and blue
And your face is red and blue
  
So, that's all for now I'm a gonna tell
Wishing that you're good and well
And in between the summer's fall
I'm a gonna tell them all
And you can too tell them all
Yeah, you can tell them all

1.  84003

If you have a rib
to roast, stick in this
zip code  Buy American

2.  HEY AB-BAT!

Stand-ups taking steroids
Now that's funny but
Is it still comedy?

3.  WATCH THE RAB-BAAT

If it made a punchline
Stronger they could steal
from a game of baseball

4.  TU BU

One scared heifer/bovine
on a downhill *****
light 'em up, one fine smoke

5.  HEY BUD

Eighty years of torment
and how you dined hope
that peace does you just fine

6.  SOMEBODY

Hollywood's a *****
Not good enough for me
Biker, T-shirt, and blue jeans

7.  FAMILY PICNIC

had drinks one day out
by the pool with vito
corleone and his crew

8.  MAINE

Aroostook to Kennebuck-
port.  Kataden plays king
too much fishing

9.  MINNEAPOLIS/ST. PAUL

Twin cities make your
mind are you going to
bridge work/home at this time

10.  MINNESOTA

Land of 10,000 lakes
The Mississippi Delta's
Great Beginning

11.  ALASKA

The great white north
The final frontier
Nothing left to find around here

12.  MONTANA

Stripped like a *****
All your ore gone.  Big Sky
Way too cold in summertime

13.  d*mn VIRGINS

I darted my tongue in
Her from behind her
****** shot my eye out

14.  COLORADO ROCKIES

You come up leaving
Kansas and climb, reach
the top, turn the bend, OH MY!

15.  CHEAT NOTES

The war on drugs not
true.  Prescription drug addicts
have their excuses

16.  MAIL CALL

I murdered the postman
For being too nice
Please, next time, don't knock twice

17.  LIFE'S PURPOSE

The mystery to life
is solved.  It's procreation.
Quick, get involved.

18.  SCAREDY-CAT CALL

I want to whisper softly
in your ear.  All the
things I want to dear.

19.  INSULIN NEEDED

Put a little sugar
on it baby.
That's too much.  Diabetes.

20.  NEW JERSEY

Oh yeah!
what was
I
thinking
suing the mob
for ****** me at
the age of
three
social security?

21.  CALIFORNIA

Can't drink the water
Don't breathe the air
It's either raining like hell
or burning on fire there

22.  PALM BAY,  FLORIDA

Alligator gangs with
Shell-less turtles leading
Eat you alive along with
Three foot long
Mosquitoes

A 200lb black cat
lounges
near the garden
of my back yard
the lazy panther

plays
with a fly

23.  SAN ANTONIO

Every airman trained there
knows this one thing
REMEMBER THE ALAMO!

Model cutout of a still photograph
***** with pointed *******
Attacking at my ***** hairs
like ergot on rye
almost robotic
her stare descending
  
As the sun from the horizon beams
brightness upon the displayed man-
nequin and I grow from manikin to
MAMMOTH
  
We've kissed before, with her soft velvet
body hair playing my brain like a
Kennebuc County bluegrass musician picks at his banjo
Caressing me.  Attacking me.  Devouring me.
Devoiding me of anyone else
  
The galaxy moves constant.  Mankind
can not slow it down.  There's a
crash-course in friendship.  The
Least important word is "I".  The
most important word is "we".  Yes.
I remain.  Nailed

Stress
A cat is strong & proper
just look at its legs
long and strong
fast and enduring
even when at rest they are readied

yet the cat was not built to be perfect
most cats would like to eat
properly
(trust me on this
I've interviewed enough of them)
with a knife and fork
but they just can't seem to get a grip
on those utensils,
even with fine claws
it just won't happen
no matter how hard the try

so when they get
FRUSTRATED
and claw the crap out of the furniture
try to understand that
they are a stressed species
and need special understanding

and another can of tuna

I used to work for the C.I.A.
I did hits for them.  It's what they
do
And I did them until they knockt me off
sue
Tell me what to do
The bank teller told me
"We looktup you acct. sir
It was closed because you are
deceast"
I said "Geesh!"
and "I wanna cry"

She said "I'm sorry sir,
there's nothing I can do"
and there is nothing
I can do
sue
tell me what to do
sue

Sometimes somethings end
just like a romance novel
forever happy

I asked my sister
On the fourth of July
Don't be your mother
Please! Just! Die!
  
Don't hang around
For forty-five years
Crying " I'm dying"
And then still be here
  
Don't be a redhead
Don't be a *****
If cancer has killed you
Then run to the switch
  
Not funny nor odd
Nor even queer
She did me that favor
In one simple year
  
copyright 2008 1 Armed Poet

She asked me
to mound
her almond joy

Mary took her lamb to vacation in the Sierra Nevadas.
Until the Donners showed up one day unexpectedly.

Mary just wasn't the same after that.

Living my whole life without
The one who's dearest to my soul
Twenty years inside the ring
Hear now what I have to bring
\Tears of rain, Tears of rain
L.A. never be the same
Crying tears that look like rain
Tears of rain get on the train
\Often times I have regret
For the story of my debt
She's a friend of Jesus Christ
She's a sinner and a friend
\Tears of rain, Tears of rain
Wendy's in the window pane
Crying Texas sizes pain
Tears of rain get on the train

The mind
goes blank at
the aisle of your beauty

So exquisite
to find the right words

And if I could
declare a verdict

There

just wouldn't be

enough room

amor

If I could text this poem to you I would
Understand they don't have handhelds where you've moved
I still feel it's something that I should do
To text to you the letters ILOVEYO_U

Peter Boyle was a ***** old thief
And he took me for three million
Just before he died he came to visit me
Just to brag about it
He said "Hey DaveE Ha Ha Ha
I took you for a sucker.
No, just kidding!
You're my only friend
Since John Lennon died"
Then I remembered times with Peter and John
And how we did brainstorming
That one time
Just kicking back
And talking about things
And smoking each other's packs of cigarettes
And laughing
  
Just last winter I saw her face
The girl with the golden tan
Hope I see that woman again
Working for the pizza man

Here's that song I wrote about you
Instead of lying around, whimpering
I put my pen to the paper again
And I don't even have to pretend
Yes, here's that song I wrote about you
I hope you like how it ends
Because every-time I think of you
I write a song again

Like a manic my-space ******
Reading everything I write
Deleting words you thought were yours
And changing some to fight
It's not your mother dear nic-o-lee
So stop choosing her to blame
You will be cornered by the feds
Someday when they put you both away

I never knew love in this kind of way
Fly to get there.  Then, have to explain
What possessed me to see you in person
can never be explained
I'd like to talk about two girls
And they're both from Michigan
You Georgia peaches got nothing on them
And the way they love to sin
  
And many come to see me in person
At the typewriter where I sit
And sometimes they can make me feel easy
And at times they make me **** [panic]
When they say
"Why'd you write that song about me"
And I say
"Listen, it was only words"
Do you want to fight with me?
And then they lay on their back again
  
I told you every-word is about you
But the names, look, they changed again
All that hurt, and you still sleep around
Can't you trust?  Then please tell me why you can't
I'd like to write a song about FEB
And how beautiful a ten
or how those ****** in Hollywood
Stole my song last year, again
But, thanks to my friend Walleye I knew they
wouldn't get away with it
Now there I go again
Got off the track in Hackensack
Oh well, here we go again

So, here's that song I wrote about you
To my wife/*****/lost girlfriend
I put my pen to the paper again
And I don't even have to pretend
Somebody write this date down
Sunday, One Ten Twenty-Ten
What once was so very far away
Has already been spent

Hear a song I wrote for you
If the big men go and steal it
I'll have to write another one
I just hope that you can feel it
Here's that song I wrote about you
Can you have that on your conscience?
Here's a song I wrote about you
Life is short!  There!
This song has balance

So, here's that song I wrote about you
Instead of lying around, whimpering
I put my pen to the paper again
And I don't even have to pretend
Yes, here's that song I wrote about you
And I hope you like it's ending
Because, every-time I think of you
I write a song again

Here's that song I wrote about you
Instead of lying around, whimpering
I put my pen to the paper again
And I don't even have to pretend
Yes, here's that song I wrote about you
I hope you like how it ends
Because every time I think of you
I write a song again

Like a manic Myspace ******
Reading everything I write
Deleting words you thought were yours
And changing some to fight
It's not your mother dear nic-o-lee
So stop choosing her to blame
You will be cornered by the feds
Someday when they put you both away

I never knew love in this kind of way
Fly to get there.  Then, have to explain
What possessed me to see you in person
can never be explained
I'd like to talk about two girls
And they're both from Michigan
You Georgia peaches got nothing on them
And the way they love to sin
  
And many come to see me in person
At the typewriter where I sit
And sometimes they can make me feel easy
And at times they make me sh*t [panic]
When they say
"Why'd you write that song about me"
And I say
"Listen, it was only words"
Do you want to fight with me?
And then they lay on their back again
  
I told you every word is about you
But the names, look, they changed again
All that hurt, and you still sleep around
Can't you trust?  Then please tell me why you can't
I'd like to write a song about FEB
And how beautiful a ten
or how those ****** in Hollywood
Stole my song last year, again
But, thanks to my friend Walleye I knew they
wouldn't get away with it
Now there I go again
Got off the track in Hackensack
Oh well, here we go again

So, here's that song I wrote about you
To my wife/*****/lost girlfriend
I put my pen to the paper again
And I don't even have to pretend
Somebody write this date down
Sunday, One Ten Twenty-Ten
What once was so very far away
Has already been spent

Hear a song I wrote for you
If the big men go and steal it
I'll have to write another one
I just hope that you can feel it
Here's that song I wrote about you
Can you have that on your conscience?
Here's a song I wrote about you
Life is short!  There!
This song has balance

So, here's that song I wrote about you
Instead of lying around, whimpering
I put my pen to the paper again
And I don't even have to pretend
Yes, here's that song I wrote about you
And I hope you like its ending
Because, every time I think of you
I write a song again