'He's still here!'
The Facebook message reads
'Who?' I ask
'The guy I pulled last night'

Well, I think, watching the storm clouds
They say the New Year brings hope

She at least needs that.

Felicity
extends her left arm
While casually yet carefully
examining the lit tip

Last cigarette
The fountains babble
and Martini glasses gather
like harbingers of doom

She's in a mood
As this year now draws
to its' inevitable close
Yet sheer beauty radiates

Out from in her
She draws attention
Knowing I think of another
by now at Canary Wharf

I fetch more drinks
A couple embrace
Kiss in what strikes me here tonight
as most illicit somehow

Illicit, yes
and us complicit
But secrets come too easily
in all my interactions

Felicities
Much more beautiful
with moonlight on their naked skin
than they appeared in the dark

Abstractedly
I touch her shoulder
As I touched in fertile summer
the fleshy, tender belly

Of another
Who did not love me
and was never Felicity
like this well-dressed girl tonight

So shall the next
as yet unlived year
bring more of this challenge
Imposters and intruders

To inner peace
Agents of discord
****** and killing a dreamscape
of a love that is settled

Felicity
Her eyes follow me
with cigarette between pink lips
that at midnight will speak truth.

Summer had long since betrayed the sand
When alone we both walked hand in hand
With others whose love we tried to hold
On the hail swept beach of bitter cold

Your memory seemed within my reach
As the angry waves punched the beach
Cross ebb tide that made it depart
I scanned the horizon for your heart

Finding instead that still your grace
Lived in this bleak, lonely place
When long days stood in long nights stead
Here you were - Victoria Silvstedt

On the sunny sands of Saint-Tropez
Too much for feeble words to say
Then after we had tread a mile
My 'other' gave an uncertain smile

As if somehow she already knew
That here those nights I came for you
But as she urged us both to go
You appeared once more - spindrift rainbow.

And so my love
You've slipped away
As if caught by the tide
That now has begun to ebb

And leaves me here
Alone once more
Left upon the shoreline
With only the rocks around

The rocks on which
My hopes are dashed
Like shipwrecks in a storm
In which all dreams are perished

But think of you
I often will
And when I do I'll smile
For you remain so special

Perhaps the tide
Again shall flow
And love can reach this place
So the rocks will turn to sand

And then the sun
Will shine once more
Beat down upon this beach
And warm my heart with loving.

Your face - it's so beautiful
Yet I cannot bear to look
For I fear that I may see
In it, my own reflection

I ask you - please, turn away
I beg of you - just do it
My minds consumed by terror
A nightmare lies between us

You're asking me - I know it
To share our lives together
Have you never read the quote
Yes -  l'enfer, c'est les autres

Don't you know that I'll fail you
I'll see your disappointment
And then your eyes will harden
I'll suffer for your judgement

So go on take your beauty
Beauty that I cannot face
For I fear that I may see
In you, my own reflection.


"So this is hell. I'd never have believed it. You remember all we were told about the torture-chambers, the fire and brimstone, the 'burning marl.' Old wives' tales! There's no need for red-hot pokers. Hell is - other people!"           Jean-Paul Sartre, No Exit.

In the rain we met
On a Sunday too
A day for promenading
With a girl round Hyde Park

From nowhere you sprang
You appeared before me
Fresh faced - like the sun
Peeping through the rain clouds

Your pretty features - blonde hair
What - nineteen?
Too good for me
Yet you chose to stay

And you smiled as we walked
Laughing through the rain
As we shared my umbrella
And listened to the racists

And the Marxists,the athiests
Even the preachers too
And those who did announce
'That the end is nigh'

Your eyes sparkled
With the mirth and joy of it
To the world did we appear
Like another couple in love?

Perhaps - but then
I let you slip - I had to
And you joined the crowds on Oxford Street
And I chose to stay

With the Marxists in Hyde Park
In the rain
My love owned by another
On that Sunday afternoon.

Do YOU depict this scene?
For teenage Lovers
On an October night
Behind the supermarket walls

Here there are no rock pools
Left by an ebbing tide
Rather puddles in potholes
Polluted with diesel and oil

And what of music?
I hear no string quartet
Just tyres screeching rudely
And in the distance a siren wails

No moonlight either?
To fall on ivory skin
Just harsh neon
Man made glow against spray-on tan

Yet despite the shortcomings
This scene presents
This October night
There is passion, there is desire, there is love.

In the soft light
Of a new day
We lie at last as one
In the company of love

For each other
And for this time
The special hour of dawn
Between wakefulness and sleep

The light streams in
Through the window
It sets for me the scene
Of a new day for loving

Each other darling
A day for us
To know each other more
And explore each others hearts

The shadows play
Upon the wall
Cast by those trees outside
And I smile at their dancing

That's so like both
Our dancing hearts
Which to some unheard song
Keep silent, single rythym

I see your hair
A river now
Flow upon the pillow
And I love with it to play

For how it feels
So soft to me
Like finest Eastern silk
A flowing, silky river

I kiss your eyes
You're still asleep
And your sweet lips murmur
How I'd love to wake you up

And quickly say
I love you dear
But now I let you sleep
And prolong this special time

I stroke your neck
So pale and fair
Again I see you stir
So I wrap my arms around

You my lover
My only one
I draw your body near
And mould it unto my own

So all morning
We'll lie like this
What better can we do
For we've fallen both in love

With each other
With this time
This breaking hour of day
And to this, our morning song.

Through scent of frankincence
heady as she
I see her move
with Eritrean grace

Ebony skin I feel
moves my senses
Her jebena
shall ever hold my heart.

You are like:

Cherry Blossom petals
in spring
The long days
of summer
The rich colours given
by autumn
And Christmas
in winter.

Oh come, take your place with me now
Here by the warmth of the fire
Fall into the clutch of my arms
Feel my heart race with desire

For you and your tumbling hair
Your body, your eyes and your smile
Oh come, now remain in my grasp
Our passion has grown for a while

Lets see the light of that fire
Reflect on those locks of your hair
Let it also shine in your eyes
For they are beyond all compare

And let the flame glow on your lips
It serves to enhance their softness
And fall, when I call, deep in love
A love that is blessed with sweet kindness.

Tonight, my loved one, the silence
Is like a seductive whisper
That lies here between our bodies
As we embrace by the fire

And let the warmth that it gives us
Be held in our hearts for all time
The way its light plays on our skin
And the love it shows in our eyes

The spark that started that fire
Ignited, my sweet, between us
It grew as twin flames in our thoughts
Which blazed as they came together

So now to gaze in that fire
And hold you and kiss your sweet hair
And watch the flames rise around us
Like flickering dancers of love.

This girl
of dark hair and sturdy calves
Has the spherical *** appeal
of the Fast Reactor

So, one day
When it's all gone
and I'm too old
I might just tell her

Until then it exists
within this poem
That you've just read
my own confessor.

Deep in my eyes
I see you look
And I smile for I know
That you can feel my love

For your eyes shine
In an instant
As we pass, through our gaze
Our feelings for each other

So come sweet love
Lie here with me
Let me in some way try
To reassure your fair heart

That you are not
Alone again
For you are here with me
And that cannot be changed

For love shall be
Ever constant
A force of such power
That no-one can break it down

For in the grasp
Of both our hands
Are gentle, kind, sweet times
Where we will hold each other

Ever more close
Ever more dear
Ever more everything
Tell me now lover, it's true?

The softest of smiles
Reaches right into my heart
And then steals its key.

It sat there and began to leach
out on the beach.
It's spent 'black gold'
brought death so cold
to what poor bird it's plumage found
would well as drowned
as die so slow
what way to go
for something made by God's kind hand.
Now on the sand
an empty shell
and taste of hell.

From my sandwich
You steal a bite
Is it really a month?
Since our coffee shop first-date

A month with you
And here we are
Safe in the time of spring
The time thats made for growing

Here on the bench
In this 'our' park
Where many times we've sat
Learning about each other

We find a way
To make the time
To simply be alone
In company of others

I close the flask
Our picnic done
And clear the things away
It's then that I catch the scent

Of blossoms? No
It's your perfume
So beautiful on you
How could I not have noticed

I catch your smile
My heart just stops
Well, figuratively
For it's beating double time

I tuck your hair
Behind your ear
And kiss you on the cheek
Like they do in old movies

It's time to go
Return to work
Factory and office
So quickly we make our plans

At 6 p.m
I'll pick you up
We'll go a drive somewhere
And try to catch the sunset

And then at night
We'll have to part
And wait for day to call
And our game to start once more.

How could it be
I now wondered
That here in winters depth
My thoughts could turn to spring-time

I'll tell you, love
How it could be
For it were thoughts of you
Alone among the flowers

There in the warmth
Gift of the sun
That gives the flowers life
As your love gives life to me

Which is fairer?
I dared to guess
Well lover, it is you
More fragrant than those flowers

That fill my mind
As if I see
Them floating on the breeze
Like dancing Red Admirals

So as you work
In the meadow
When spring-time comes again
I pray that your thoughts will turn

To what will be
With you and I
In the spring-time of love
Now sown within the meadow.

By tidal trance
I watched her dance
She skipped among the stones

Her agile grace
Brought smile to face
Before I toddled home.

The clock has moved on
from the hours that it kept
When, below it I would wait
to meet again your smile

The time it has shown
with hands and face
Has left your hands still kind
Your face still beautiful

As I dip my fingers
into the cool fountain below
I remember those evenings
flicking water where you sat

Watching the people
passing through Stevenage Town Square
Passing through their lives
as ours lay out before

Then years of marriage
with no need to wait
Yet often I would sit
and imagine you arrive

But the clock has ticked on
and now you are gone
Yet I feel you still
in the fountains cool water.

This night, my love, your shadow
Is cast here, upon my wall
Thrown up by the light of the fire
And presented for me to love

There was a time, that shadows
All seemed haunting, dark and false
They were things that leapt without warning
To consume my heart and my soul

But now your shadow fills me
With feelings for only you
My lover, I long that your shadow
Shall ever cast within my room.

Today I walked
Along the dunes
My heart was very quiet
The sea my sole companion

I thought of you
Your smile, your kiss
How I longed for your love
How I long for you tonight

I saw a ship
So far away
Out on the horizon
Where sea surrenders to sky

In such a way
As lovers know
Within their longing hearts
That reason gives way to love

I found a shell
Upon the sand
Its beauty touched me so
A gift from the pounding surf

That scrubs this beach
With every tide
A cycle of cleansing
Of purposeful renewal

And as I turned
To leave the beach
I looked back at the bay
And in its shining surface

I saw your face
And felt your kiss
And knew your thoughts were here
Such is the strength of our love.

That November slipped
so quietly away
Like the leaves that once
fell on the footway

Not a text
Nor a call
I to blame
for it all

Still......

A month makes no impact
on the love that we hold
So a fire was lit
In December's heart cold

Of all the gifts on Scotland's hills
The primrose is most fair
It stops the hiker in their tracks
And keeps them there to stare

At its kind form and beauty soft
I love it I confide
As deep among the heather blooms
It almost seems to hide

Like a young maid who may not know
That beauty's come her way
While others see her prettiness
And long with her to stay

So if you see that yellow bloom
When summer comes around
You'll know it is a precious thing
On Scotland's hills you've found.

Selling herself short
To those who will never pay
Sunday morning hate

Smashing and surging
Pounding the rocks below me
Thief of sailors souls.

Felicity sits
on hard concrete
Like a modernists dream
as she plays with a daisy

From Arthur House
I see her pose
As if for a ******
to form an image to keep

Preserving youth
Our own sweet youth
that shines out through her eyes
Mirrored in her English skin

She speaks some words
that may be French
Through the clouds streaks sunlight
She places down the daisy

And then she stands
Straightens her skirt
Lights up a cigarette
and smiles goodbye to this place.

The wood panneling and my ears
Reverberate with dullness
Dull men with dull words
Dull ladies as well

I, their understudy, listen
Too familiar phrases
Traffic management, zoning
Policy sixty-nine

While I watch her - the junior
With smouldering hard eyes
And sensuous red lips
Which she runs a biro across.


Written after Highland Council Planning Committee, 29th November 2016.

I stood there quietly - without a sound
With thoughts of things I deem profound
Like Socialism's methods fair
And Lily Allen's long dark hair

Here in my mind
I see the world
Coloured in shades of red
The colour that paints my love

I see the sky
Crimson and clear
With brightly burning sun
That warms the air around us

The sea is pink
A pool of love
Bottomless in its depth
Made for lovers to drown in

Ruby mountains
Valleys of jewels
Yet none will ever hold
The value of your love

The trees are red
Yet still they grow
Just like a fertile heart
They reach as high as they can

This is my dream
My scene for us
For red is the colour
Of passion and desire

And that - with love
Is how I feel
About you - only one
Please feel the colours I see.


An early poem of mine when I wrote 4,4,6,7.

You ask me lover
What's the point
Can't you see
That there's not one

Yet at the same time
One exists
Yes - perhaps
The greatest point of all

It's because I can
That is why
And want to
So one day - I will

No, not to spite you
That's not me
You know that
C'mon now listen

Who cares what science
Says of sound
This object
Could alter my world

If I possesed it
Lily Allen
On Vinyl
A big, round L.P

A true work of art
Lilys' art
Existing beyond its form
I can hear it now!

Every note pressed
Perfectly
Filling the air
With its captured sound

Yet I can hear you argue
Making a scene
Missing the point
Trying to persuade me

That C.D's better
Clearer sound
More modern too
But that's never it

For years I've wanted
That record
I'd watch it
Go round and around

Yet for years I've chosen
Not to buy
But to deny
Myself the pleasure

Often I have thought
I'll buy it
Sit and watch
Its nothingness go

But I loved all that
Nothingness
Simple fact
That I did not own it

But now soon I will
Hold it here
Commited
Its nothingness gone

And I will play it
Night and day
Until you see
It's because we can.





"Say what you say, Do what you do. Feel what you feel, As long as it's real" Lily Allen



"That is what I mean when I say that man is condemned to be free: condemned, because he did not create himself, yet nonetheless free, because once cast into the world, he is responsible for everything he does." Jean-Paul Sartre, Existentialism is a Humanism

Darling, your words
Dance in the air
Like tiny thistle seeds
Caught in a summer zephyr

I did not think
I'd ever hear
You say, 'I Love You So'
Oh how those words move me now

To return them
Sincerely too
As a bond between us
A bond that never will break.

Silence filled the room
For he could not find
The words, to describe
Her beauty

She smiled so sweetly
That he longed to hold
Her tender body
Against his own

So when her hand
Fell upon his shoulder
His heart moved
For he'd felt her love.

In an instant
The world seemed changed
As the wind fell
And snowflakes filled the sky

But it was not snow
That changed my world
It was YOU
Your smile, your touch, your love.

I recall, Julie, that day
When, as equals, we met
At the altar that forever stands
Behind the co-op

And how the bell that rang
A summons for registration
Symbol of bureaucracy
Truncated passion

.....but fuelled desire!

Dizzy colours flash
Alive with childrens laughter
Heartbeat of the fair.

Solid city walls
Rising above golden sands
Magic everywhere

Old men playing boules
Silver ***** shining brightly
Pleasure everywhere

Sails and masts abound
A thriving busy quayside
People everywhere

Gardens rich with scent
Flowers alive with beauty
Colour everywhere

Spinning carousels
Ringing with happy laughter
Children everywhere

Azure sky and sea
In blazing summer sunshine
Lovers everywhere

Pretty mademoiselles
Joining their lips in loving
Passion everywhere

These are my sweet thoughts
When I think once more of you
Pretty Saint-Malo.

The landscape of home
'neath blanket of crisp, clean frost
Keeping warm the heart.

Ethereal light shines down
On modern Londinium
As we sit by the lake
Near St Giles-without-Cripplegate

Felicity leans forward
Her head slightly bowed
As if in silent prayer
Me – her confessor

Abruptly she stands
Taller than Shakespeare Tower
Why do you always come here?
It’s the antithesis of home

She adjusts her skirt
Last night it seemed too long
A duck lifts its tail feathers
***** on the concrete

Felicity is a rainbow
Most clearly seen during rain
Her moods still move me
Psychedelia made real

Your strange – she says
Your beautiful – my reply
She smiles – her face like coloured glass
The window of a great Cathedral

I see God in your face
I thought you followed Sartre
I did….I do…
This place suits both

I caught you last night
Eyeing that girl
Near Blackfriars bridge
Keep your eyes on the prize

Yes – you did
Now she’s my confessor
But she hadn’t your colour
Your pattern or form

Felicity kisses me
I squeeze her tight
By evening we’ll make love
Leave the ducks to the Barbican.

With stealthy grace I saw her pass
a well loved lass.
So cute of paw
was what I saw.

This furry friend and decent pet,
on her I set
my eyes to rest.
She made a quest

toward her bowl of rich cat food,
I knew she would.
And then to creep
to bed for sleep.

In shimmering still
It rose among the chimneys
Face to face we sat

I beholding this vast sphere
It mocking my existence.

He pecked and pecked that night
the little beggar
For I quietly watched him
as dark stole in

To rob from me the redness
of his rich breast
The chubby joy he gave
in days last minutes

Was anything but wasted
providing peace
As I waited for my tea
served with love

That I had for the robin
with his jaunty ways
And as rain touched the window
I gave him to the night.

Here in the dark

Often will I

Listen to crazy notes

Crazy, jazz-filled notes, that can



Move my mind

Stir my soul

As they work their magic

Through the ending of the day



And do you hear

That music too

Is it in someway shared

How I'd love those notes to speak



To you and I

Both together

Holding each other close

In sweet surrender to love



And as I see

In my minds eye

The dazzling, shining, bright

Reflections of brass, I feel



That we are both

Caught in a whirl

As crazy as these notes

That fill the air with sound



And as the tune

Plays on and on

So too I hope will ours

A never ending jazz piece



Written for us

In its own style

And boldly played some day

So the whole wide world can hear



About the love

Between us both

That's crazy and heartfelt

As are all these jazz-filled notes.

Searching here once more
For what may or may not be
Love seems lost tonight.

An English rose
found within
the Caithness landscape.

Beauty and fragrance
in a land
both harsh and true

Raised in the green
of Hampshire's England
then blown north.

Like petals on
a summer zephyr
to land upon my heart.

Felicity of the colours appears
In the still city air
I check that her coat is warm
For Edinburgh is cold

Absent-mindedly she chats
Past Hepworth and Moore
Toying with the hair that falls
As the leaves part the trees

The Riley exhibition proves
Too much for her eyes
Those beautiful eyes
That will live on from the day.

Southwaite Services ****
She is
Strutting across the carpark
Shaking that tail

Oh look at her walk
One hip at a time
Over and over
On the motorway I'll see her

Understand this
Up here in my mind
United we'll be
Under the sheets

Though she's fifty at least
The experience shows
Thing or two I'd learn
That I wouldn't forget

Here she's a queen
High heels and tight jeans
Holding her own
Heading the pack

Wish I could hold her
Wish she was mine
Wish I could **** her
Wish she would know

And so it goes on
All in my head
An M6 fantasy
Asphalt fuelled love

Into the night
I carry my desire
Imagine our lives
Infused into one

Throwing the shackles
The difference in age
Testing the boundaries
That society sets

Exit ahead
End of my journey
****** attraction
Ends up as love.

I see her barefoot on the sand
she gazes out to sea
The breeze touches her hair
Her eyes fix on the surf

She is at peace
With the sea

Above the waves there is motion
coloured forms are alive
Butterflies, dancing with the life
of a future unlived.

She is at peace
With the butterflies

The butterflies reflect her moods
Sky blue with hope
Scarlet red with love
Rich green with Earth

She is at peace
With the Earth

Before me she transforms
into a meadow of wildflowers
That sing of 60's peace
on a quiet Friday afternoon

She is at peace
With the afternoon

My mind briefly imagines her
Below Caziel's mural
Absorbing a culture of hope
That lives within her heart

She is at peace
With her heart

And then I see her turn
the sunlight plays briefly on her face
She retraces her steps into town
leaving footprints in the sand

She is at peace
With herself.

Your face - so young
So beautiful to me
It catches my eye
Seducing me to return

To see it - to know it
Yet I don't know 'you'
I have never met you
Perhaps I never will

Your pretty left eye - Its pretty left eye
Your dark hair - Its dark hair
How that eye holds me
With its gaze averted

Your scarf - of biege
So tenderly wrapped
I can feel its warmth
Yet I've never touched it

Your portrait - a masterpiece
Yet it is not 'you'
We must face that fact together
As exhibitionist and ******

It's not paper - it's not paint
For when I leave this room
I'll ever still see 'it'
Not paper, paint or you

It exists - you exist
I exist also
You created the portrait
But what created me?

I turn - I leave
With one last look I think
I do not know her, but she
Should be proud of what she's done.


An early poem I thought I'd lost!

Quarter to four
Last minutes of the shift
Feet on the desk
Trying to read Larkin

'Days'
Quite relevant really
But the words dance
Upon the page

Across the desk
A teenage girl
Bangs on about her ****
Larkin is lost.