little hell
without you, i tremble
trying to piece myself back together like a castle with it's own mind
except i'm not worth much

and i've accepted my nothingness in this world

it's the little things that are a big deal, in this world

status
money
drugs

make up this certain perception that makes me want to off myself

am i triggered?
or do i respond?

i...



    dunno

you can take all, but not my will to experience my will to live

it's 6:08 am
the gym is a little empty today
old faces
young faces
mostly old
the women with no husbands are a little odd
they know the pain they went through
but did they handle it?
could their hearts be wandering while their body is still here? trying to fit in, in this gym of moving people?

it's usually loud in here, the radio isn't working today
gratefully
but i think people appreciate listening to their efforts, subconsciously

one can hope, one can dream, but we all can
but are we living these concepts?
i can't say i'm lost in thoughts, because i know how far i'll go down this road of questions and "answers"
1 question creates a thousand and one more

too many use of drugs i just want to see you girl
every second i gasp for your energy
breathing through my misery to catch some of your insight
melting with the thought of us together
how can i disconnect from what i truly need?
no kind of practice can enlighten the animal within
in the void i just capture myself in states of awe, my ego swells
amazement in my self, i need to stop that man
can't handle too much of me, i guess that's why there's a trinity
don't need that kind of comfort i'm one with fear and awkwardness
one with the insecurities that used to penetrate in my day to day
one with the negativity that used to hold me back
but i had to learn to push myself beyond my "self"
every single kiss i see through my mirror girl
every single glance my mind stop and spins around a pole that last's forever in rotation
trying to find the end but you left me with nothing but beginnings girl
a new approach i see myself going after the gun blow
everytime i see you, we're in the midst of blow
but why cry? i love you

we were in the city,
serving our prayers to the nobody that exists, loving with every centimeter of our bodies
embodying the reality that this love, is true
for I grow day by day, my love for you bypasses morals