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David Bird Oct 2010
With her soft brown hair,
So radiant it isn't fair.
Love her? Do I dare?
David Bird Sep 2010
Wind and rain are strong.
Birds have not burst into song.
In summer it's wrong.

Autumn winds are here.
Tree leaves hang on in fear.
Dress warmly my dear.

Winter soon arrives.
Striking cold with icy knives.
Hibernation thrives.
My first Haiku.
Any thoughts very welcome.
David Bird Jul 2010
There was a young lady called ****,
Who let rip an enormous great ****,
  The might of the roar,
  Broke down her front door,
And proudly she said, "That's a start".

She bent down and gathered herself,
Two hands holding onto a shelf,
  She was eager to please,
  She locked out her knees,
And thought, I don't wish to use stealth."  

She lined up her powerful bot,
For another most frightening shot,
  Stripped the fur from a mouse,
  And demolished a house,
Which effort had made her quite hot.

She only had one more inside,
The power to make herself glide,
  She bit down with her tooth,
  And leapt from her roof,
Ten miles she flew, with some pride.
I'm sorry.
David Bird Jul 2010
I'm updating my old P.S.P.
In the morning it's after half three.
   Can't believe I'm awake,
   Tomorrow head break,
Please throw me from very tall tree.
I will not write anything here.
David Bird Jul 2010
Pakistani Mohammad Aamer,
Much too young to buy his own beer,
   But his bowling is ace,
   He got in Ponting's face,
Other batsmen are living in fear.

Pakistani Afridi is mad,
Though he is not inherently bad,
   But he did chew a ball,
   Which about says it all,
But watching him play makes me glad.

Look, Shahid Afridi is crazy,
Even though he appears quite lazy,
   He wants to be strong,
   But it turns out all wrong,
It's because his brain is all hazy.

I know little of Umar Amin,
My knowledge of him is too thin,
  Does he bat left or right,
  Will he give Oz a fright,
Or meekly get out once he's in?

Then Umar Akmal will stride out,
He's tiny but he gives it some clout,
   An average of fifty,
   Looks pretty **** nifty,
From behind him, the crowd they will shout.
Loving my own relaxed and appreciative attitude towards this historic series between Pakistan and Australia, hosted in UK. The first "neutral" test since 1930.
David Bird Jul 2010
The weather is nice,
  but I am no fool.
So she spiked my rice
  and I jumped in the pool.

Yes I did pay the price
  and I lost all my cool.
Next time I'll think twice,
  as that's my new rule.
Mark Boucher (South African wicket 'keeper, part-time legend) tweeted this...
"Write a poem!"
So I bit on that bait. After my mate Kate Tait.
David Bird Jul 2010
Since I still appreciate you,
Let's find love while we may.
Because I know I'll hate you
When you are old and grey.

So say you love me here and now,
I'll make the most of that.
Say you love and trust me,
For I know you'll disgust me
When you're old and getting fat.

An awful debility,
A lessened utility,
A loss of mobility
Is a strong possibility.
In all probability
I'll lose my virility
And you your fertility
And desirability,
And this liability
Of total sterility
Will lead to hostility
And a sense of futility,
So let's act with agility
While we still have facility,
For we'll soon reach senility
And lose the ability.

Your teeth will start to go, dear,
Your waist will start to spread.
In twenty years or so, dear,
I'll wish that you were dead.

I'll never love you then at all
The way I do today.
So please remember,
When I leave in December,
I told you so in May.
This isn't a poem, it's a song. And it certainly is not mine.
But the wordplay is so utterly stunning, it needs sharing wherever possible.
Please watch the genius in action here....
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