I like how you don’t tell me why you go to court
like I can't know your secret

Like there's something in you that you don’t want me to find
a part of you that I don’t want to meet

I told you I was evil over the phone and you laughed and I didn’t
and then you paused and got real quiet and said

“Me too”

Oh yes im so concerned about what poison this cigarette will bring me when just two hours ago I dropped my speakers into the water
in hopes of electrocuting myself

but instead I just drowned 200 dollars
I always try to break as many rules as possible while driving
because I have this fantasy about a cop ******* me

or maybe just because I like the idea of getting away with things
I'm not nearly as complicated as you'd like me to be

and I'm sitting in 14 inches of ****** water from my slit wrists
so ask me why I'm laughing about this
like I'm finding the shine of the razor funny

I don’t ******* owe you anything

and I haven’t eaten in two days
I wonder how long ill keep this up this time
last time I nearly died

so ask me why that was the happiest time of my life
when I fainted daily and lost 40 pounds in 3 months

Don’t tell me its impossible or that I look healthy
because I make you have slit wrists as well

I have 4 butterfly knives and im okay with using them
just ask all the things ive buried in the woods behind my house
just ask me how I feel after kissing these poison frogs

and life is no longer a ******* simile

I haven’t left the house in a week
and I take three baths a day to keep me from feeling *****

so please tell me what that says about me

and you thought being a starving artist sounded romantic

You are cold tile in summer
I am bare feet

The sun rises and dies for you daily
The moon watches you sleep
Watches dreams from deep underneath eyelids

Irises like cliff diving
If you look down you cannot breathe
I wish to be the air caught in your lungs

Skin beneath my fingertips
Softly yielding
We are the last two on earth
I would choose no one else to be lonely with

I am drawn to you like a moth to flame

Desire like a trick candle on a birthday cake-
There is no burning it out

Smoke curled from your mouth like ribbons
I wished to be your cigarette
If only for the chance to be close to your lips again

I want to breathe you in
Have you lingering on my tongue like melting candy

When I was little I thought happiness was a magic potion
Now I know happiness is a feeling
Caught in the gaps of my ribcage
Only to be discovered with the x-rays that are in your touch

I am in deep blue water
Feather light
Using thoughts of you to keep me afloat

There are flowers sprouting from my heart
Your touch holds my bones together
You are a skeleton made of stardust
There is magic in your breathing
I find myself longing to inhale it

I wrote you a poem and all you said was “I love you!”
and I need a whole lot more than that  

Did you know Marilyn Monroe was borderline too
and what did that leave her besides a suicidal mess I do not look up to?
But I guess she did **** JFK so there's that

Today is valentines day and I didn’t say anthing to you about it
because I know you hate February 14
because 2 years ago you had that major surgery

You didn’t talk to me until 4:20 today
and that was only to laugh about the timing
and it's really hard for me to not tell you that I wanted to **** myself today but instead I wrote 5 poems and drank too much coffee

and **** I would really **** for a cigarette right now that
I have to use my charm to get
because im only 17 but somehow
I always “forget” my ID and wear a low cut shirt
and flirt openly with the 40 year old indian guy across the counter
just so I can get my illegal nicotine

I wonder what my mother would say about that

The first time we had ***
(Or made love as you like to put it)
I choked you

And if you really want to make love then you need to
close the door on me and use a triple deadbolt
I am incapable of making love

I am hot water on the burner on the stove bubbling over
and if you don’t want to get burned you need to put a lid on me

I wrapped my hands around your neck while I was on top of you
and I watched as your face changed colour
and your mouth opened and closed like a fish flopping on deck
but there was no air to breathe

And it was really making me excited until I realized that you liked it
so next time I held your throat with one hand and
bit your chest so hard you started to bleed in a few places
and for some reason you got off on that too

But when I asked you to spank me I got four tiny slaps
and then you held your hands around my neck gently
and told me that you couldn’t bear to hurt me because you loved me

So I guess that goes to show
You will get no love from me