My body's nothing special, as far as I can see
My mind, though verging on the tiny
Is good enough for me

I don't ask much from anyone
They don't ask much from me
That way I stay in touch
With my inner chimpanzee

I think I might be a pervert.

I mean, a mere bite of her lip,
stroke of the hair
or flick of
her hip
sends fire around my body
criminalises my mind
and throws me outside,
to look pressed
nose against
the glass,
breath blurring up
the window,
and my view of her ***.

Yep,
I think I might be a pervert.

Aren't you?
I mean when it's hot,
don't you get thirsty
from
sitting beside
the fountain?
Course you do,
we're all perverts,
even those baldy
monks up on some
breast-like mountain.

For those who want to learn
There are many teachers

I see her at the party
surrounded by her friends. She's clearly busy..

That's OK, I just need time to work out some
incredibly clever and witty banter.  I'm good
with words.  I can weave letters together into
aural silk.  In the meantime....I should get

Another drink

I see her at the window. an inebriated man
is attempting to woo her, unsuccessfully.
He clearly is unaware of his boorish nature

She looks on.  

I know when I talk to her
I will make her heart dance and her ears
will be massaged with the gentle sounds
of love and adoration.  In the meantime
my cup is empty...I need

Another drink

I see her in the hallway.  The night is nearly over
I walk to her, straight as I'm able through blurry vision

She notices me

I open my mouth, ready to spill forth a tidal
wave of intellect, a hurricane of insight.

"mumblecutemumbleprettymumble"

She walks away

sigh

I need another drink.

black coffee walks alone
closed eyes, avoiding signs
holding love in back pockets
cracking open pens, drink ink
blink: sunlight! it's blinding,
and alright, but I much perfer
darkness.
                so many calls that make me
feel small. I don't know what to say,
so I hang up, and hang myself in the
backyard to dry, afraid you might catch
my scent, and run away.
                                        you taste like
flowers, feel the way my lungs do when
it's hard to breathe, feel the way my ears
do when I struggle to hear the mumbled
mess of what you wouldn't dare say straight
forward.
              I saw you coming, felt you coming,
lost you, lost myself, removed the sheets,
found someone else. To remove myself,
you hoped, I hope it helped.
                                             bagged in plastic
styrafoam cups, luke warm, but you're warmer.
a charmer, heart farmer.
                                        Welcome home, please
make sure if you leave, it's somewhere better.

I am oddly expected
to understand and
            enjoy learning about
scientific experiments

when all I can
bring my body to
            think about

is long tanned legs
******* that jump out
at me, like happy birthday michelle
she's so dripping wetmoist, shiny like a windshield
red pink and lightly browned
and I am so glad to be female.

wow
        biology is a waste of time

                           i should have taken anatomy

As if anger is never enough when it comes to me fleetingly, sparingly,
sweetly if you'd believe it,
I'd taste it and spew it back out into rainbows that land in thorns surrounding you
I want to hurt you, I want to be alone

My whole life I've been trying to help people
I've been trying to help and draining myself
I'm used to the kind of air that leeches off of me,
the kind of folks that leech off of me,
the state of being of shame, for the ways I can't keep myself alive

And I try and stop trying, live and keep dying
moving and stopping
If I open my eyes near you I become too repulsed to keep rhythm
If I listen to you I sink faster into the places where I can't feel

But with you before I've felt the sky in a million flavors
And I've cried in a million colors
And now, I have a million ways to say that I'm confused.
But I'm done.