You told me black was your favorite color,
and I have always preferred lace, myself,
so I found something to make us both happy.

I knew I would see you today,
and if I leaned over in just the right way
you'd see the quick peek of what's hiding underneath
this light summer dress-the kind that lifts off so easily,
and you would wonder if it was for you.

Did you notice?
It was not an accident, but an invitation.
And something about the way
you placed your fingertips over your lips
to hide the smile slowly spreading across them
tells me that you accept.

inlove with a girl who breathes like
snow so light, it is almost
nothing, nothing at all

inlove with a girl whose skin rubs against mine as
a tongue fondles peaches(cling)

inlove with a girl who sighs like the crest of a wave, falling
to meet the rest of it's body(russsshh)

inlove with a girl whose move-
ments collect eyes like her hair collects
rain or her toes collect sand

inlove like I am
inlove, like I am
inlove

Trying
Trying to form
Trying to form the thought
It hurts too badly
The toilet calls for me
Trying
Trying to find
Trying to find the shirt
I lost in my stupor
Wretching at every step
Trying
Trying to think
Trying to think of where
In the ******* I am
Who's house is this?
Trying
Trying to force
Trying to force the water
To stay inside my stomach
Every breath brings more *****
Trying
Trying very hard
Trying very hard to stand
The room spins in a terrible way
Fall to the floor alone
Trying
Trying not to
Trying not to smell
The smoke and whiskey stench
Throttling the air around me
Trying
Trying to remember
Trying to remember my steps
Bringing me to this painful juncture
Lost memory blackened out
Trying
Trying to will
Trying to will myself
Into believing this is my house
And that I need help here.

reflecting upon a cigarette
I discovered a small fact
the middle burns stronger
any ash comes from the edge
the same is true of people
we age,
wrinkle,
decay,
rot,
die,
but  we still burn incredibly bright
from our centers
don't let the fire
ever die

I am the Robot with the improbable dream:
I want to be human, the hominid supreme.
Yet, I plead for this with silent screams
For I am only a machine.

I am thoroughly dysfunctional,
Defective, inept, delusional,
Pathetic and utterly unusable,
Inadequate and artificial.

I'm synthetic, poorly composed of alloys,
Crudely manufactured and wasting away.
My will to endure has long been destroyed.
I await my welcome decay.

Bestowed upon me is an incessant sorrow
From years of feeling used and borrowed.
Life never improves, not now, not tomorrow,
So I am devoid of hope; I'm hollow.

I'm riddled with inane fears and faulty gears,
And I'm rusting further over the years.
I anticipate a merciless demise,
But I no longer suffer from the need to survive,

For I experience chronic strife;
I have the impossible desire to teem with life.
With monotony, this dream I have sought,
For I will never accept that I am naught but a robot.

I smoke because smoking kills.
-I fancy controlling when I die-
So consider me informed.

(And when you put destroyed lungs
On the packets, it makes me smile.
I’ve seen lungs of healthy people. All black.
One way or another.
Smoking kills and so does everything else.
One more side effect of dying)

And I’d rather know I hold death in my hand
Glowing like the last ember of my days
Glowing red, and consuming me.
I’d rather feel it, this life
Scratching my lungs and clawing my throat
Burning me, making me cough
Knowing I’m responsible
And that for a second, if I die, I know why
I smile, I smile! At the tar coating my lungs
Deliciously, deliriously, I laugh
I laugh at the little death in my hand.