You are on a short board that does not span the deep canyon
A mad crowd a murdererous horde is close -is chasing you.
You run to the
End of the board .
The pitiless mob are screaming
For your blood- are closing in
You see in the void  before
An angel beckoning you to
Come!  Leap into the empty
Space  You have never believed in
Angels.  Will  you  now?
What do you have to lose?  To gain?
But there  is no timet.to weigh things
For prudent measure You must act
Know  now with your whole heart
You choose!

"The Winter of Despair The Spring of Hope*
Charles Dickens "A Tale of Two Cities"
Answer.

Another type of vivid dream: As the experts define it
A vivid dream is one where the dreamer realizes he is
Dreaming recognizing it is not real.  This is some kind
Of logical contradiction; a paradox.  My experience was
Different.  In the dream I knew I had had a stroke and
That my walking had been impaired but in the vivid
Dream I was miraculously healed and after  tentatively
Walking I began running.realizing that my abilities
Had been fully restored then I woke slowly at first not
Realizing I had been dreaming or if it was true and I
Had been restored.  But it was not so at least in the
Post state .  This dream was was repeated a few nights  
Later and I passed into waking not knowing what
Was the truth.  I certainly did not realize in the dream
That I was dreaming-the power of the dream was in
Not knowing.but in believing the dream had been real.-
Then finding it was not at least not yet.  As an old
Friend used to say Wake up your Dreams. Some
Day we shall dream something so wonderful that God
Shall no longer ask us to say of it it was only a dream.  


As Samuel Clemens  had the mysterious Stranger say of
The evils of our history: The dream marks were always
there...

Who are you talking to
Mr Einstein?  To the little
Child; to this old man?  
So much hocus pocus-
When all you had to say
was Shazamm.  That I
Could understand.  Yes
Everything is; and I am-
In the blink of an-eye- one
Word.  How could it be
That it is so  Yes even as
A little child I knew that.
That there is magic here

I have spoken of the Dreamer
As if we are one but though
This be true and I believe it is
He is also the many.  He is the
One and I am the one and the
Many are one-But I know this
As seen thru a glass darkly.
By my dreams sometimes I
Am aggrieved.  I have then
Only one remedy, one access
To the Dreamer I call it prayer
To offer up my pain, perplexity
Anxiety and need to Him who
Is able to give me better dreams
For myself and for everyone/

Too long  have been obsessed with  this
Riddle.  I must let it go that things are
Not as they seem .neiher this nor that..
I cannot sing my song and think about
This riddle that is not a riddle at all but
Simply the way things are and are not

In the demon land you are weak
Cannot  stand; are overcome yet
Rising above this evil cannot fol-
Low.  It is not that you are strong
That you overcome but that in
This other space the devil cannot
Reach you where you are now.
How can it be that here the evil
Fingers can no longer shape the
Pliable clay.  It is fated that man
Shall fall in love and so be less
And less till be God's hand he
Be kneaded  as near as nothing
Is to one and like helium is be
Rising even as the son.  For the
Maker lifts up His clay.  His sod
He brings to life with each day.
He has promised that the meek
Shall inherit the earth and all
Shall be on earth as in heaven
As little children.the falling
Stars shall grace this place
That love may rise and fall
We know not all but rise and
Fall in love.  It is enough...

If I could impart to you
The beauty of the glowing
Grass You would not ask
Me the meaning of the
Universe nor need to.


For Stanley

Never never forever
But for a little while
now  we do love, can
Love and that is all our
Forever is and what for
I would give every other
Forever for. To now love
You a little more.  Forever
Is only how long I will miss
you when you are far away.

For my daughter
I Love you

It is not...
Not Natural; Not Causal; Not Logical
It is Between all Changes
All arises from it
It is not an it
It is an I
We are little i's
When we knew our littleness
We Loved I
He is Our Father
Tells us in all that is that
We know Nothing Is
We were Nothing once
Before we were small
To Nothing we are  returning...

The adventure of a Life Time
Where are all our Treasunownres?
Whence we travel Heavenward
Where their worth is now known

And all  our yesterdays Shall begin

I complain.  Its about the past that now is not
All the losses.  Wishes flowers that never bloomed.
People, things that I should have now.  I was good-
Good as I could be: Good at heart.  Am I at fault?
Then God shares this fault.  Certainly if anyone
Could have made it better it was not me.  I am
Unconvinced that I was able and you knew it.
So help me God.  Yesterdays gone so they say-
But is it really so when the consequences are
All around you in the absence of things hoped
So you go forward into the hollow land: Speak
Oh God to my misery.  Can you give me back
All the  times mourning love-the absence of the
Present perfect that was not to be even now-
What can ever be done that takes no account
Of the loneliness and sorrow, of years in desert
Places.  I have made argument with my own
Reason   that tells me it could be worse; Change
One piece and the tower falls.  Is this not the
Best of all possible worlds.  I hear the exhortations
Peace, Peace.  I give them myself.  But still I say
Make of this world a better place.  There are I
Say consequences to waiting.   There is wisdom
To resignation but do not faith and hope point
To something better- a place where Love will be
Always and Forever.  As the old woman said:
You call this living!  Where is the life I seek? It
Began in my yesterdays and a war I would not
Could not win without your help and so I do
Complain that your delay seems fatal to love
As Job said:  I spoke as I did because I knew
Not when you asked me where was I when
...?   Speak to me Oh Lord-That I may know.
Oh God to my misery.  Can you give me back?
All that I have lost?  Ask me that I may know.
Because I kew not I spoke as I did. Still I wait.

Peace is not as gaudy as a parrot
Not as baudy as a peacock...Not
As free as a happy child.  Not as
Beautiful as a rainbow in a clear
Blue sky.  Not as fierce as a storm
With the of flashes of lightening-
Booming bursts of thunder.  But
It is like Avalon seen through the
Mist and it is enough to wish for
For a long long time and when it
Is wished for it is always there.

Do you want a pear
No I need but one
Do you want a pear
No I prefer one
Do you want a pair
No I already have one.


For Ed Ross, Dream Librarian,
My First friend in the Golden State
In the Golden State

In the shade rise the colors of all you love
And one by one everything is gone.  No
Not all but way too much the shade of
What was fading till the less  and less of
What once was but death you who were
From the beginning with me and who did
Paint with exquisite beauty all that I ever
Loved are now my last companion,faithful
To the end, a friend  to stand against all the
Loss.  If you leave me then I shall truly be
Alone
  It ii is a   light too great, a light without the
Night.  Blinding.  Oh death do not desert me.
I know I have raged against the dying of the
Light but now I know better.  Death did shade
My eves did make me see and love the other.  Oh
Death  must be born again for all I have Loved is
Naught if not for thee-that has been revealed  The
Last shall be the first. Hidden charity is its ensign.

Love is the we kisseed link
A bondless memory that cannot
Be remembered but lets us be
That let's us live till time
May let us  kisss again
That love not be forgotten

The wise old oowl told me long ago
God's nane but I did not understand
It was not a question but the answer
God's name is"Who" Who Knows I
Am not sure if my knowing this will
Make any difference.  Who can tell.
Who art in heaven is the only One.
The only One that knows but yet I
Sometimes I wh feel so awful close
To that Who "s on first that like one
Who just got the joke I laugh and like
A small child I feel like I 'm on First.

What a giddy feeling it is till someone
Yells " Your Out" What a spoil sport
II  I had to guess Its envy making up
The rules, but I know it's Who's rules
That all  the children know happiness

What a ***** this dying is
When you go she won"t
Be anymore-There's that
A satisfaction in it; then
You remember the little
Girl so dearly loved. Can
Not something of this yet
Remain =like the last star
In the night sky to be seen
Before the new dawn-my wish
To know my child's soul -so
Bright. so beautiful so loving
Would be mine again but she says
Go go who cares -So I stay.   I am
Nothing if not perverse and may
Be its true that in heaven- I hate you
Means I love you and  silence there
Means I am yours and you should
Know it.  But I don't  and Its a *****

turally imperiled

Is this a game I am playing myself?
A dream?  If so when shall I  wake?
Falling thru space and never landing
Fear becoming boring then it must-It
It will yield.  This too shall pass and I
Am not dead. Another dream perhaps?
Lord hear my prayer for better dreams
To come,,,and the best  lasr: Be Always
:











falli

May the Bell of Liberty Yet Ring
With its flaw still it tolls-Fear not
To fear the Lord as Solomon did
Saying though all else be a vanity.
I yet fear the Lord because my
Sin if it be that for as love can-
Not be checked it must be so
Like love I cannot decide it or
Discover its twin if there be one
That makes the other false so
Trembling I pray that all I love
Be true without righteousness
That I am without fault but as
One who knows there is One
Who can make my imperfection
Right.  if only for love' sake it
Does make whole all kindred.

Would you move away
Saying I have sojourned
Heere too long.  This swamp
This desert  Yet there is this
It takes to get away whats is
Sticking you is that you do not
Really want to leave with what
You've left undone  Something?
What?  You have hidden from
Your eyes and heart that it is a
Place you Love Confess to your
Selt that it is true and you will
Get your pass  Say Adieu adieu
I go but something of my heart
I leave with you in this place


Who was it that said Bless Me Bless me
And I will let you go When Jacob with
the angel wrestled here on earth......


For Royal Manor and Memories
Of My Mother here

When the victory is just to
Survive-no matter that the
Future beyond is realistically
Bleak.  That is not the question
Perhaps it never was-Still to
Be is the triumph always is.
The promise of better things
To come is to be still.

What could be more real
Than the old real..;  than
Dying Old...A rear guard
Action.  Who's only Raison
De etre is to delay the advance;
To allow the Retreating a bit
Of time to escape from the
Inevitable,  Between the now
And then...  A  time to live

They say in the south the past is
Not dead it is not even over-So
Where do you go when you are
Seeking where the ghosts of the
Past still live-Take your Dreams
South.  Say to the conductor do
Not stop till I am in the Land of
Where I left my true love so long
Long ago.  She was little then and
She used to tease me so till I said
You are going to make me love ya
Till   I am dead  till I am dead and
Gone  Going to where all my life
Is past and done on the Old Bard
Line lighting fools their way to dusty
Death Come to life again-Heading out
Way down South  I'm Coming Home to
Zippity do da Zippity aye My Oh My
What a wonderful Day it will be On the
Old Bard  Line When  all my yesterdays
Light my way to where My love and I
Were in bygone days so bright of yore


For Lissy

The coincidence of two worlds
Each an affirmation of the other.

If there be two who do not love
They are not alone only lonely.
The great Poet who Made the
Universe who said He made us
In His likeness knowing He is
One comprehended that all His
Children would be little ones
We  all have that in common
We are all one like our Father
And like God our essence is
Love.  To Love is our being
So doing we magnify His Being
The knowledge of His Goodness
When we love one another we
Experience His sweetness. Two
Are one -three are one; All are
One.  If we experience loneliness
As each does it is a knowing that
Our love is still incomplete Calling
Us to love more for our peace is not
Complete-to experience the greater
Oneness we are capable of....

This is not work but for His Children
Their burden is lite-it is called Play
Play on children.  Play is the Way to
The perfect.  The God of Love will
Forgive your mistakes as we are all
Still learning, practicing to know. He
Will be with you to the end of the world
Claim you at the gates Heaven as His
Own forever and the fullness of Your
Love for all the children will be like
His.  A play where our better dreams  
Are realized; and We are the Dreamer-
All the One who because wel are  one  in
Another in a time that never ends.
Except at night when we sleep the
Sleep that is the Peace  of Innocense
He looked at His Creation and saw
That it was good a'n said: I Love You



For Lissa &Bren

And for all  Chidren.:"I Love You"

Forgive us this we ask you
Acknowledging our errors
Those that we know and
Those we know not-but of
Those we do not yet know
Are we not also asking that
Your forgiveness come with
That wisdom that belongs
To love that we may not do
Keep doing  to one another
What is to their soul's harm.
So to we ask this for those
We would forgive that they
Must reckon and reckoning
That they like us be so ever
Guided by the one love that
Always embraces all of us.

Sepia is that burnt orange color of old
Postcards;  Of things remembered and
Still treasures of memories fading and
Almost forgotten that once were in a
Now exhuberant, that could not imagine
That it was was passing.passing before
Our eyes.  Even nowing into darkness
Where all of our treasures are buried

As the path  less traveled ls so
Truth makes all the difference.
It is not open to dispute, does
Not permit liberties but Is. Not
A question for our free will to
Navigate its own course upon
Did not Christ say not my  will
But Thine be done-So what the
Lord command we cannot go
Against though we may think
Otherwise and think our selves
Great sinners and make show of
Our learning by punishment to
Ourselves and others for having
Learned too late the biter fruit of
Disobedience.  God did command
That in the Garden of Eden  to our
Oldest kin, Adam and Eve that they
Should enjoy every fruit of the garden
But must not eat of the tree  known as
The Knowledge of Good and Evil.
Note He did not say you may but you
Should not.  It was a Command-So  a
Truth.  and of course as children Adam
Persuaded by Eve whom he loved
Imagined that for love"s sake he
Could disobey and Eve persuaded
By the evil serpent that she could
Did
Indeed in their imagination trangress
Such is the imagination of children
Fairytale of  misbelief piled upon
Generation after generation until we
Have the Grand Illusion that is the world
Of sorrow that we know as real but is not
Yes there is the pride that we could know
Good and evil and make wise judgments-
There on and so be masters of justice. God
Laughs and forgives this foolishness and
For our sakes tries to let us know that it is
Not so Not- the real real that we are playing.
A make believe tragedy and we do not know it
So suffer   over and over for Imagined sins





Keep on




Till the  
Resurrection at the last syllable of
Recorded time
Makes it a tale told by an idiot


Keep on


Then

Still innocent as babes-
of good and evil knowing
Nothing but our travails of imagination.
Having seen the dream signs know that
You dream.  Now Imagine the Truth
I know you will say: I always knew it.


For that is God's Command:  The Truth.

Blessed Be Our God fount  of all Goodness
That is known for all time forever and ever

Is it that some are too slow at
Learning wisdom or is it that
Others are too slow at learning
Patience?  Both fail at being
Godly-For God is both wise
And patient; and war is that
Grand Illusion that trumps
The hopes  of glory that is
Not to be as an apple tree
That bears no fruit nor has
It roots and is never real but
To make the gifts of God to
Be  as if all in vain and not
Known. Yet it never was so
Where love is we know It
Is  and know there is not
Another better-for He who
Is one and both lives forever
His children believing know
Two- that He is truth and life
One and both. Not death but
Victory.  We know of no end
To His Wonder and His Peace.

not near not far not after
the axe falls, cracks the
Wood-like the memories
of Times gone bye-Of the
World Outside, An echo.
Of time without end....

Some day you may realize that if everything
you wished for were yours.  A beautiful home;
People to serve your every need; etc.etc but it All
Came with a perpetual trepidations of immanent
Death,   You would know that nothing would make
You content without the sense that this would be
yours for an indefinite time to come; that is the
Future, a promise that can be known now but not be
Realized now.  Keep the faith. Be hopeful and give
Thanks for what you have been given; and for all the
Days to come that may yet bring  you greater joy . ...

Father forgive us our erors as we forgive others

All the iron clad wisdom of man---
All the lessons learned out of sorrows
Unredeemable by time and history yet
Never by youth are learned  Still God
Laughs with them at their foolishness
Knowing all the while that He will be
Needed .  For Who  else is able  to make
Whole our 'brokenness of life's lessons
Oh ancient grief who can we turn to-
Sage advice cannot help; science does
Not have the remedy; natures laws are
Just but without their Master's words
Show not their  charity.  Ah it is the
God of all your yesterdays who knew
You  when and laughed with you then .
He is not their's  of this world  without
Love, who would hypocritically be judge
But ah again they too are still too young  
To know they are only playing the fool
Soon the game will be over and the
Lord shall hear his tears too  Oh most
Foolish God we will need you as long
As we live. Only you can understand; and  
Restore our lives to us from deepest sorrow
As Job was so shall we be for we also are innocent.
And must be made so again knowing ever more
How great iyour Love  so  is our joy magnified---

Have Joy in Truth.
Praise Truth for it is Good.
But know this it makes no difference.
Truth is--already is now ; and always
Has been and always will be.  It is to
Our benefit to acknowledge it as the
Blessing of understanding indeed it
Our greatest joy-But also know that
Truth encompasses change.  In this
Too it is constant and everlasting...
Lives.  For each of us it is subjective-
In our objectivity we acknowledge
It and so for each of us it has an
Individuality, some shade of differ-
Ence.   Some yearn for yesterday,
Some put their hope in tomorrow's
Sun.  This too is good  It is morning
In the East and night in the West.
When the day is done in the East
It is still early in the West    The
Remnant survives to increase and
At our greatest increase we begin
To decline.  This is the Truth in all
Things great and small-of that in
Which their is opposition and that
In which there is harmony.  Thus
We may have wisdom and know
Justice and mercy; our own worth
Both in it greatness and its smallness
This too Truth and it too is good.

If only the man who led a saintly life could
Enter the Kingdom of  God  What hope is
There for the rest of us.  I speak  now of us
The common man but charity asks more  of
Us  Let who is without sin caste the stone.
But if this is so it matters less the road one has
Taken  than the portal he arrives at.and given
Welcome to pass thru.  All that counts in the
End is the end.  Christ's is the Spiritual nature
That one must take on..  Christ the condemned
The villain  that accepted the world's shame and
Guilt and said : Not my will but thy will bc done
While those that loved him could only stand in
Silence, some with tears in their eyes as  He was
Crucified.  Think not that this is some sectarian
Story i am repeating;  it is a universal Truth.  Not
In its particulars but as an iconic meaning. Every
Man's destination and fate as chosen by our Father.


A Fable:
Once there was a cracked dish and after some rough handling it broke in
Two pieces-One was much larger and an argue,ent ensued.  The Large
Piece  said I am not broken it is you that is broken.  The smaller piece said
No it is you.that is broken my guilt is less as I am smaller.  What is obvious-
The plate was broken and no amount of argument about relative guilt would
Make it whole again.  When the pieces realized this and knew not what to do they realized that they were both about to be discarded despite a long and shared history.  Then with a contrite heart they  called out their sorrow to the householder in who's  and for who's service they had been made.  And sharing in their pain He came unto them and said I will heal your parts and ask for gentle usage for their will remain a crack that all be warned that Love
is fragile.

Love is like a fire
It know no shame
Its fuel is dried out
Virtue.  Yet let us not
Cry for they  shall
Come again sweeter
More tenderly than
Before.  From out
The charred ground
Sweetened by the ash
Of what was burned
The loveliness of God
Restored to its origins

the present is almost over.  Always
But the past just keeps on keeping on
You have to have to have a few years
Under your belt when decades more than
A few can seem like only yesterday and
You know a lot of water has past under the
Old bridge...
  Little children have grown up
Their children too but their play stays in
Your mind long after they have left home
In life's great theater passions we have known
Tears have been shed and so many things and so
Many curtains have come down and we have been
Left alone to know always knowng it was yesterday
Only yesterday we were on the stage in a gay
Charade or a stranger walking alone in the rain
We knew and didn't know that it would all go away
Like water under the old bridge  to come again to
Wake up our hearts  like a long lost love-kismet

Play is the animating Spirit of creation where it ends
No body knows but God has called it good....
.

Modest is but to shield the eyes from the
Bright Star that is our innocence that we
Might not be blinded by the  of the light
With the all consuming desire to claim it
Drawn like a moth to the flame.  Seeking
Seeking the light that seeks us.  Surely this
Is a happy death.  We are drawn to Love- A
Consuming Love is to be together at last the
Dream fulfilled; to be together.  To be  One
With our hearts desire: Innocent forever We
Are but God;s Love Song.  Rising to heaven
As the smoke of prayers  is writhing upward
Returning to Him the gift of our Innocence

Do not be mad that I called you mad
I am mad too  Has it not been said:
that two negatives make a positive
Yet we shall rejoice in one another

Between us and them
There is only One and  
He don see much diff

Time to bow our heads
An'd seek forgiveness.
Both us and them Lord
By and by Lord hear our
Prayer to Love one''nother
To sing  His praises that
We have found the Way 'n
Been given His salvation

In a moment of Joy a thousand
Years of sorrow is forgotten.
Hope sustains but even if it die
Should that day come as sure as
Day follows night; leads with the
Light and morning come there is
No wait.  No time before with the
Lord who is always with you wakes
You and comes like One , even the
Son riding upon a donkey out of a
Rain bringing the sun and laughter

From the green valley I see the lumbering hills
Of darker green are the forests that like a shawt
Are draped  over a beautiful stranger who's face
You cannot  see but  who beckons you to come.
You know you cannot get there because what you
See will not be there.  It is so with so much that is
Desired.  You cannot always come to what can only
Be seen at a distance; you know this but still you go
When you are young and when old long to return to
The valley where the faithful hills still stand guard

As a child I earnestly asked my father
Is it true that no matter how much one
Knows; how many ways we try we or
How hard we cannot get to heaven or
Realize the greatest good without he;p
Help that must come from God.  We, my
Mom and dad were sitting around a table
It was nearly dark as before a storm or 6pm
On a winter's eve.  Before he could speak
Suddenly some strange foreigners came to
Our table babbling questions seeking for
directions completely interrupting my hope
Of an answer to my question.  My father did
Not get to answer me.  I guess I really only
Wanted confirmation but it left me feeling in-
Complete.  Later much later he told me to
Write it all down and I would understand.

Like an animated picture the long
Blond afternoon stretches far out.
The signs of humanity are all about
But there is no one around-all is still
Then a lone car passes then nothing
Again.  The tableau is lonely as it is
Lovely.  I do not want to change it
I cannot.  I am alone and must be ...
Grateful; and Sad.  Slow change like
A picture is all I have  No more to
Hope for so I must save all I  have
While now whispers with long agos
And everything slowly turns golden

For Bren

You spend half a lifetime trying to get away
And all the time have gathered cherished
Memories hardly realizing what will be no
More-Then you fly away -burst forth on the
Journey hardly contemplating any loss. But
There comes a time you know it was your
Home- loveliest of memories and you can
Not go there again only when we visit in
Our dreams; a place most like heaven as a
Remembered sketches of a beach long ago

Long long are the memories  of our youth


Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Poem "My Lost Youth"

There is the truth we know and the truth that we
Know we do not know and then there is the Truth                                    wdo We do not know that we not know and that makes
all the difference.*  
We search for the truth and by definition it makes no
Difference  defines what already is true whether
We know it or not and que sera sera but there is the
Other Truth that is and is not that may be the source
Of the miraculous; the magical that exists between
Zero and One.  The time between Consciousness to
Unconsciousness to consciousness again.  A time of
The merest moment or eternity We do not know and
We cannot even know we do not know until we do.
May the Force be with you and may God bless you.

Though she is young she is beautiful
It cannot be a sin to love and I love her
But I can say nothing and there is only
That one time that one moment that was
Ours when our gazes locked in the yard. 
Not a hundred feet  Yet  it is some sixty-
Plus years now  and still I know its true
That I love her still, will desire her forever.  
And never be able to let her go.  Yet I cannot
Say her name for she is not her name.  She
Who is forever is too beautiful for a name
That  i can say for feat this love   be shamed
It was close to where the old apple tree stood



Suncrest Memories

My child your child
Is gone to  another place
Where we cannot go 
As has been said; "Life
Changes us more than
Death" and death maybe
Kinder than life without
A love that one  never forgets-
A sister of the church once
Spoke to God and said " Lord
I have given up everything but
My Faith in Thee what more can
"
I do?  The Lord said then Sister
Give up your your Faith . Sister
Theresa Cried because it was all she  
Had and it was the hardest to let go of
But the end of  Faith is ever obedience.
If it be so  then death where is thy sting?
Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in
Heaven Thy will be done. Ojala!  Ojala!
Where neither  moth nor rust corrupt and
Where born again all  to Love are restored.


For my parents who gave Kahliil Gibran's "The Prophet"
as a graduation present and
Who spoke more eloquently than I  can about losing children
Because they are God's Arrows and go where we cannot follow