A constant stream of justifiable lies. Contorts what I want from my life.
What used to seem impossible is now my reality
but I'm not so sure I want it anymore
because it is different
so different than what I thought it would be

Is it worth the games I'm forced to play in order to dream?

Today is hard but tomorrow will be worse because I will wake up to hate
reflected back at myself

There are so many things I should do. There are so many things I should want.
Do we not define our own success? Each to their own version of happiness?

But all I keep thinking is
I shouldn't be eating

I don't know who I am right now
no smiles or frowns
just an emotionless wreck
can anyone tell me who the hell I am
because I'm out of answers
no light inside
just shadows to hide the demons
no magic left
no hate or love
just empty feelings in my heart
no mind left
for you to find
I lost it in a bet
nothing left inside my soul
but then again
I traded that for a puppy
with what dreams
I still hold onto
I could find some hope
to put the meaning
back into the hollow shell
I have become.

remember that time
when i disintegrated into a
pile of dust
and was never seen again?

yeah,
neither do i.